Thursday, 18 March 2010
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11 Signs He Is In Fact Your Boyfriend
After two months of exclusively dating, Mr. C still refuses to acknowledge that he’s my boyfriend. However, a number of tell-tale signs assure me that he’s in it for the long haul.
A guy is your boyfriend if…
1. He has a toothbrush at your place. Mr. C has a toothbrush in my cabinet that he uses whenever he sleeps over. I bought it for him, and each night he stays over, he goes to get it all on his own. He brought over the floss, since we all know I have dental hygiene habit catching up to do.
2. His mom knows about you—and you know about his mom. I haven’t met her yet, but he’s told her about me. He also talks to me about her all the time. It makes me feel included.
3. He knows your birthday. I just mentioned it once, and he remembered it. I felt guilty when after four guesses, I didn’t get his right. It’s seared into my brain (and Blackberry) now.
4. You travel together. In a few weeks, we’re going to Napa Valley and San Francisco. I’m helping pay, but he’s definitely taking the lead on paying and organizing. I’ve never had a man buy my plane ticket before. I feel special.
5. He leaves you alone at his place. Now that I'm unemployed, he gets up and goes to work in the mornings. I stick around for a few hours longer, reading issues of Black Enterprise from 2007 that are still sitting on his living room table.
6. He wants you to meet his best friends. Considering we had this one precious summer together before beingflung to opposite sides of the country, neither of us has been in a rush to hang out in big groups. However, he asked me to have lunch with one of his best guy friends from college and we’ll join another good friend while up in Napa. He’s met two of my best girl friends and seems quite open to meeting more. Nice.
7. You asked him to get an STD test. And he did. Mr. C still doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal to ask a guy for an STD test. “What’s the big deal!? Any guy should be willing to take one!” Example of why I adore him.
8. He isn’t afraid of your blog. I don’t know how often Mr. C visits CrazyGirl Nation, but he definitely alludes to things I write in it, and he’s made it clear he wants a cooler name. “Why can’t I have an under-used letter? Like Mr. U or Mr. X?”
9. He isn’t afraid of your period. Today I got trapped in Mr. C’s bathroom for twenty minutes because I unexpectedly started my period.
Me: “Mr. C!” (Of course I don’t really call him that.)
Mr. C: “What?”
Me: “I need you to go buy me some tampons! Sorry!”
Mr. C: (without hesitation) “Okay. What kind do you like?”
Me: “Normal. Regular. Unscented. Whatever! Make sure it has an applicator! Do you know what that is?”
Mr. C: “Yes, I know what that is. Why are you saying sorry?”
Me: “I don’t know… Thank you! And can you bring me a toothbrush?”
He brought me back Tampax Pearls. Very nice. Not even the CVS brand.
10. He doesn’t balk at you saying crazy things about your future together.
Me last night: “Okay, so we’ll date for a year, then you’ll propose, we’ll be engaged for a year, and then we’ll be married before you even have to start Business School!”
Him: “Um…That could happen.”
The point of that conversation wasn’t to get him to agree to some crazy timeline. It was me giving him an idea of my expectations—like I’m not trying to date someone for four years and then just see what happens. I have no idea of knowing if our relationship will work out, but it’s nice to know that he doesn’t balk at the idea of getting married within the next few years.
11. He knows how to make you feel better. Mr. C calls himself The BeastMaster, because he knows all the ways to calm me down when I get worked up in a frenzy. I get headaches at night from worrying too much and not drinking enough water during the day. Mr. C’s cure is a glass of water and fifteen minutes of spooning and face caressing. I always immediately fall asleep. When I get in a mean mood, the cure is matching my sassiness tit for tat. I give up on trying to bully him. Mr. C is a crazy guy well-matched for my crazy girl tendencies.
Conclusion
So if your guy is title-phobic, and you’re wondering if he may in fact already be your boyfriend, think through the things that boyfriends usually do and see if your guy has been stepping up to the task. You may find that you can stop being obsessed with titles and just sit back and enjoy the relationship as it develops.
If you're dating a guy and are not sure what your relationship status is, how do you tell if he is in fact your boyfriend?
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Comments (232)
I have no clue, I'm sailing in that ship right now.
@dlmcniel@xanga - Ditto. Glad to know I'm not alone.
I simply ask.
Haha, you're a great writer.
I haven't been in the situation of not knowing if a guy's my boyfriend or not, but... what's wrong with just asking him?
If you're confused, it's best to get your thoughts out in the open.
Miscommunication is a huge relationship issue.
damn, I want one of those, lol.
Funny story: The day I acknowledged him as my boyfriend while getting lunch (by myself, since he was still in bed) to bring back home to his, was the same day that he acknowledged me as his girlfriend when we went to get me some medicine for my upset stomach.
He says so but I guess he doesn't love me because he did the opposite of the above mentioned.
you guys sound cute...I have seen like 4 of these signs lol
You're boxed into a relationship and he's asking you where you are going, plans and such.
I wish my boyfriend would buy me tampons if I asked him to...lol
Not answering this question, but this was one of the most adorable posts ever. Just sayin'... :)
So, the only fact that you really need to know, despite all of the nice things that he does/says/whatever, is that he refuses to acknowledge that he's not your boyfriend. That's all you need to know. He says he's not, so he's not.
If he won't admit to being in a relationship with you then no, he's not your boyfriend and that's a red flag, in my book anyway.
I think many husbands would fail because of number three...
Sounds like a great guy you got there.
my god. this sounds like an amazing guy. you are lucky (: keep him hahah
@macphoto@xanga - Me too. :)
Mr. C sounds amazing, does he have a brother? =P Heck, even a distant cousin or someone, lol.
1 sign he is in fact your boyfriend: he acknowledges that he is.
You tell him that you see him as your boyfriend and that if he doesn't agree with your view than things aren't going to work. It may sound like an ultimatum, which generally suck, but this is true.
i don't really need any signs because he just insists he's the only one for me.
@macphoto@xanga - HAHA me too sighh
If he's really your boyfriend, he would acknowledge it. There would be no need to compile a list of reasons to convince yourself that he is your boyfriend when, in fact, he is not.
I'll admit I'm guilty of referring to the guy I'm dating as my boyfriend on occasion, though. He's never balked at or refuted it, despite me and other people doing it in front of his face a few times, but I also know that he's not fully committed to being my boyfriend yet, as we've had conversations about the situation.
Asking the guy if he is your boyfriend is easier than trying to decipher signs, imo.
I didn't have to tiptoe around the title. His mom kind of blurted it out in front of his family that I was his "new and improved" girlfriend because you know who doesn't love to feel like a brand new Mercedes or something? lol
After that I kinda made silly jokes about his status like "Wow, I have one crazy boyfriend." and he didn't say anything. So, now I introduce him to everyone as my boyfriend. <3