Thursday, 18 March 2010
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Datingish Advice: The Numbers Game
Would you tell your SO your "number" if you knew yours was higher than theirs?
Particularly if you're a female telling your man this...
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Comments (32)
the truth is the best i guess
Well, I'd want to know. And I'd tell him of course. My number's one, and it looks like it'll stay that way. I just don't like when people have big numbers because you shouldn't give it away so easily - whether you're a guy or girl.
I'm not ashamed of my number cause I learned something each time.
As long as the number isn't something ridiculous like over 50 or something, I'd be straight.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
..I had no number,but I really disliked his number.
I'd tell if they wanted to know. I wouldn't ask or judge if they told me though. I feel like it's irrelevant to your current relationship, especially if what you have is good.
Certainly, some people will say high numbers are going to indicate poor character but I don't think that's necessarily the case. Play safe and get tested, whatever. Seems like a small price to pay if you have a nice thing going with someone.
7-11 rule.
@pandoratheexplorer@xanga - Please explain
I think it depends on the seriousness of the relationship.
Particularly in long-term scenarios, I feel it is important that those who wish to know numbers know them. Although it is in the past, it is relevant to the relationship in that it is relevant to the emotions, and hiding it is less-than-favorable.
@schallerbrandon@xanga - "The rule guys stick to when asked the dreaded question by a new girl, "how many sexual partners you have had." He wants to give a good number, if he says too few she'll think hes inexperienced. If he says too many she'll think he's a man whore. The rule, if you slept with less than 7 round it up to 7. If more than 11 round it down to that number." http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=7%2F11%20rule
To every "rule" there are exceptions, of course. Make them were you deem appropriate.
I would advocate a policy of honesty. Plasticity is becoming the norm, enjoy contributing to the downward trend.
My number is 0... so, this is not a problem for me. lol
How about don't let the number get whorishly high in the first place?
@PMFoutofwater - Agreed.
My boyfriend and I (regretfully) had sex with one other person before we started dating. So both of our numbers are two. If my number was higher, I'd probably tell him, because I'd want to know if his was higher. Although, I'd be really sad if his was higher. I know people will say, "It's no big deal! It's in the past! Get over it!" etc. However, to me, it IS a big deal, sex is a big deal, so if you're giving it away aimlessly, then I pretty much lose all respect for you.
My number is Zero. I'd prefer not to ask too early in a relationship. My number would only reach a max of 2 in my lifetime because I don't believe giving it away too easily.
My number is one. My boyfriend? Hahaha. He's almost 23 years old, and I'm his first official relationship since he was 16 or 18, I believe, so his number is up there. Sometimes it bugs me, but he was a totally different person back then. He went from a boy thinking about one thing to a man thinking about everything. Sometimes I get discouraged and think I'm just here for his convenience (I moved in) but he tells me time and time again I'm just here to be loved, no exceptions. I lost my virginity to him when I was 16 and he was 21. He lost his when he was 14, or something like that, and then had that 7 years of being a good-looking guy not searching for any sort of commitment...so...yeah. D:
Sometimes I wish my number was higher so I didn't feel so naive and he could understand where I'm coming from when I say that his past bothers me at times. But on the other hand, I love being with him and I would honestly never trade him being my first for the world.
Numbers are just numbers unless they're adding to their count when they're with you.
Then it's a problem.
Maybe :p
I don't care about quantity, just quality.
it's good to know about your sexual partner's other sexual partners, past or present, just in case someone comes up with a disease :P it's about health. but if the "number" is in the past, i don't care what it is, as long as the present and future "number" is just 1 ... ME :D
I wouldn't give my virginity away just yet (yep, zero) to anyone.. unless we've gone to second base and he's still not turned off by my body, and we've made it through one year together.. then I'll gladly give it up to the theoretical boyfriend.
It took me until the comments to figure out what "the number" was!
I think to a point your number of sexual partners matter - because it gets to the point of why haven't you slept with more or why have you slept with so many. Maybe I'm old fashioned...
I always tell the truth. And um... maybe that's easy because my husband is my one and only. My husband has told me about all of his previous partners... I think. I don't care who they ARE. We both got tested before we got married (and have several times since then as a part of regular checkups and for me, STD testing required during pregnancy), and really, as long as he didn't get another girl pregnant and didn't have an STD, what does it matter to me? He chose to be with ME.
It doesn't really bother me. My number has been higher than my last two boyfriends.
it depends on circumstance of the numbers such as if they were 9 one night stands and only 1 serious relationship that lasted 1 month or 9 serious partners in committed relationships that lasted at least a few months(lol) and 1 night stand