One of my favorite relationship sayings is:
"Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. You just can't order from it."It would be silly to think that just because we are in relationships that we don't find people, other than our significant others, attractive. It's human nature. But it's integrity that keeps us from moving on our lust and just admiring from afar.
This weekend at my cousin's wedding, I found myself totally attracted to one of his groomsmen. He was completely my type: tall, dark & handsome, medium build, preppy looking, and the life of the party. I could see that other women at the wedding saw the same thing in him and I even got a little jealous when they would talk to him! I knew that I wouldn't be acting on my attraction, but I was in for a little harmless flirting.
I complimented him on how great he looked in a tux. He returned the compliment by saying how great I looked (and my dress was HOT- had to have double-sided tape keep me from having a wardrobe malfunction!). We talked off-and-on all night. Other girls would talk to him, but he'd come right back to me. After the wedding, a huge group of us (including bride & groom!) went to a bar to see GH's (my boyfriend) band play, where super hot groomsman bought me a drink. I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong, just being friendly. But I definitely loved the attention from him.
And at the end of the night, I stayed on my diet and went home with GH.
>sigh< I wanted that cupcake, and had I been single, I would have been a mess of frosting and loaded on calories. But I stayed the course and went home with my fulfilling salad and fond memories of a night spent looking at the menu that, just maybe, was hoping I'd indulge.
Has this happened to you? Do you look at the menu when you're on a diet? Have you indulged?
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Comments (37)
Try an open relationship, so "new age".
No. I may look at another guy, but I will NEVER flirt with him, EVER. I wouldn't want to, that's disrespectful (in my opinion). Besides, my boyfriend IS my cupcake. :)
open relationships work too.
my guy is the prime rib while the other things on the menu are not that appealing chicken salads. dieting and reserving cravings will increase the hunger so I indulge monogamously with a very hot bf instead of a nice apple that is nice but too many other tempting things.
Heis the menu my friends...in his weirdness...he is one great tasting menu. *cough cough* maybe I shouldn't say that here.
@HollowTendencies@xanga - Haha, you said exactly what I wanted to. Maybe it's just me, but I've been with my boyfriend for over two years and I honestly don't look around anymore - no one seems that attractive to me. My boyfriend is my red velvet cake :]
I'll admit that -- due to my "male ego" -- every now and then I want to test to see if I still have any game in me. But in the end, I'll know who still has me by my balls.
It's really important that you don't abandon these sorts of interactions, in my opinion. I probably wouldn't have gone as far as you did (I'm pretty vocal about being taken), but I've found that sometimes that harmless interaction with other guys who think you're attractive, makes you feel fantastically sexy in a new way and (in my case) even more proud to be with my man who managed to score such prime real estate! :)
I've had more than a few admirers, but I've never let them flirt for long without making it very clear that I am taken. Nonetheless, it's nice to know that you've still got what it takes to entertain a random guy!
I think men (besides my boyfriend) hate me. I don't have this problem. It's kind of a blow to the ego, but at least there's never temptation?
i look but i don't touch and don't think about it and that's the best way to keep me focus on what i have. and if my bf found out, he'd be so pissed off. he's super jealous so i would have to explain myself if he saw me flirting with another guy. but to be quite honest, i haven't looked at anyone since i've been in a relationship.
@HollowTendencies@xanga - I agree with you too, doll, look but no interacting is exactly what I do. And the thing is, my man seems to check out guys more than me; HE is the one who pokes me and go "Check out that guy's massive guns!" and HE was the one who said "Look at the pecs on that shirtless guy dancing next to us"
I don't have a problem with seeing someone and thinking "wow, they're attractive". But I would NEVER EVER flirt with someone of the opposite sex. I have too much respect for my husband.
Noooo flirting. Looking, but not touching is definitely my style.
I'm a sensitive person haha.I'm a terrible flirt, I have to confess. It's fun. But I have got the integrity not to do anything.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
my bf is definitely my "cupcake"...salads are blah.
I look, but certainly don't indulge-- anything more than looking would make me feel really guilty, even if my girlfriend would think it was harmless. By the same token, I would feel really jealous if my girlfriend did any more than look.
When I look, I sometimes ask my girlfriend her opinion to see if she finds the same things attractive as I do. It makes looking less of a guilty, indulging thing.
Lol. I gotta agree with other people. My boyfriend isn't the salad, he's the cupcake and the ice cream. I don't particularly like salads either, :P So I never have a need to look elsewhere let alone flirt.
My husband IS that tall, handsome, life of the party cup cake. :)
I can understand looking. But I don't look at other people like that... I will say a guy is good looking, or a girl is really pretty. But it's not really a "Wow, he's so attractive, and SO my type!" I just think that's disrespectful.
My boyfriend is pretty hot...so it would be rather difficult to tempt me ^^ Even still, I am too shy around guys that I find attractive to do anything about it anyway.
i'm going with the majority! other things might seem tempting, but i chose my man for a reason ... he's the best!! he's salad, meat, and cupcake all in one! just remember the reasons why you picked your meal (lol) ... and that the one you're with is the one who's going to make you feel the best now, and in the long run as well :)
<3
I don't believe in "harmless flirting". While in a relationship, outside flirting shouldn't exist.
I wouldn't do it SPECIALLY with the SO around. That is crazy. I would only talk to the girl as a friend at most if I were able to bite my shy personality.
I can be a huge flirt but while I'm in a relationship, I do my best to stay true to my other person.
I've been struggling with my diet lately... =/
I love my SO a ton, I'm even moving across the country to be with him. We want to get married in the future. And since we've been together (over a year) I've never been attracted to anyone else. Until now..
Eye candy is eye candy. Just remember, look but don't lick.