Wednesday, 17 March 2010
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Datingish Advice: Would You Let Your SO Have Roommates of the Opposite Sex?
Recently my friends were talking about living off campus, possibly with guys. This brought me back to an earlier memory. I remember when my SO was entering sophomore year two years ago and asked what I would think if he got an apartment with two other girls. Call me conservative, but I remember flipping a shit. I knew he wasn't attracted at all to either of these girls, the idea of him sharing a bathroom and getting to know each other in a private setting kind of peeved me off.
Share your advice at Datingish Advice: Would you ever let your SO live with friends of the opposite sex? Would you ever live with a friend of the opposite sex?
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Comments (28)
I would never tell my SO what he could or could not do. If he is my SO he is smart enough to make up his own mind.
I agree with Mac on the part of SO living with whomever, and as for answering whether I would live with someone of the opposite sex?
I would probably have to not be attracted to them and yet also not find them repulsive.
I'd be lying if I said that it wouldn't bother me to some extent. That being said -- I probably wouldn't press the issue.
Think of it this way: It's a way to test whether your SO truly loves you or not by being faced with a direct temptation.
I don't think I'd be 'comfortable' with the idea, but I guess to each their own. If he's loyal he's loyal. If he's gonna cheat on you he'd probably do it regardless, so let him cheat away and just leave his ass if it really comes to that. *shrug* I live with my SO though, so it's hard to put myself in your shoes when I see my boyfriend every day and know where he's sleeping.
Wouldn't care, unless the guys are some random-ass creepers she found off Craigslist or something.
my s.o. is okay with me moving back in with one of my best guy friends so i couldnt say anything if he did the same.
No.
Living with the opposite sex is a problem in my book.
Doesn't bother me. We both had male and female roommates while we were dating. Now we're married so we obviously live together, but beforehand, no biggie. Just living with friends. Get to know his roommates if you're worried.
My gf prefers the company of guys most of the time. If she wanted to move out and she lived with a mix of guys and girls, I wouldn't care. Besides, if she's going to cheat on me then she's going to cheat on me. Might as well get it out of the way and end it.
it would bother me and i'd prefer if she didnt
Although it would bother me, I'd let my SO. Only because I'd want him to let me.
I wouldn't tell him what to do. I'd be comfortable with the idea of him living with the opposite because I know he has eyes only for me. I completely trust him.
my roomie is a guy, and his gf is fine with girls as his roommates & he lived in a house with 5 girls! >< lol and my boyfriend doesn't care cause he trusts me.
Since I dont have a girlfriend , I would answer this question if I had a girlfriend.
I would trust her and I would not cheat on her.
i'd be comfortable with the idea of him living with women or anyone really. i'm not insecure enough to feel jealous of slighted by his living with other women. it don't see it as a problem. just because you live with someone doesn't mean that you're going to be attracted to that someone and there should be enough trust that his roommates don't become a wedge in the relationship.
I'd only allow it if he was uglier, less successful and shorter than me. Not sure she'd be able to find anyone...
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
I'm living in a house on a university campus with 5 girls and 5 guys next year. If a boyfriend of mine flipped a shit over that, I'd just dump him because I've lived in the same hall as all of them for two years - if someone was going to happen between me and one of the guys, it would have happened already.
But I can see why a person would be uncomfortable if their SO lived with one person of the opposite gender, or if they were the only guy/girl.
Why would I care? This falls in the category of if I can't trust my SO why be with him.
I don't control what my boyfriend does or doesn't do.
I'm curious as to why you wouldn't. Distrust your SO or just your own jealousy issues? I live with two guys and we are nothing more than roomies. My SO doesn't have a problem with it, in fact he claims top like it because he feels I'm safer living with two guys than by myself.
The only time I think I would begin to care, is if one of the roommates was an ex-SO. Then I might become paranoid.
@PMFoutofwater - i agree also.
@PMFoutofwater - Lol awww..
It's all about trust. But I prefer my SO NOT to live in that situation.
The choices he'll make is his own to make. Just because he's living with another girl doesn't mean that he'll cheat, though society would probably imply that he would. But who says you can't go over and stay and who says that he can't come over to wherever you are? Guys (and girls) have temptations every day. If they're a good enough person, you'll already know and not have to trip.
Not that I don't trust him, I do, but I just wouldn't like it. He wouldn't anyway. And I wouldn't live with a guy. I would find that just weird. We'd have to be really really close, like a blood brother, for it to not be weird.