So my mom was telling me about something she heard on a Christian radio station today. I guess they were talking about all the different ways people prefer to be loved. Like some people like to be told it through verbally spoken words or through writing such as a poem or note.
Some people like to be given things like flowers, candies, diamond rings, etc. Other people like their love given best through actions, like if somebody holds a door for you or makes dinner for you without being asked.
My mother says she is the type of person that would prefer to be loved through actions. She mentioned that one of the best indications of her fiance's love for her is that when he woke up early this snowy morning to put out the garbage instead of making her do it while she walks the dogs before she leaves.
I know many women that will only get/stay in a relationship with a guy only if he has a well-paying job and cash to burn (on them, of course). They are the type of women that like to be loved with material objects. There is nothing wrong with that, I guess.
If I get an object from a guy, it's more like a flower that I'll press into a book or a teddy bear I can cuddle with at night. I'm not so much for the luxurious gifts (maybe once in a while for special occasions is all).
I can tell that my fiance loves me through the loving, inspiring, and personal notes he leaves me and the conversations we have. He is constantly reminding me of how beautiful and intelligent I am and tells me at
least once a day that he loves me and that he is lucky to have me.
I can also tell he loves me by all the things he does for me. When he says he is going to do something, he does it. And I feel that words and actions are the best way to be loved.
How do/would you like to be loved? 
So my mom was telling me about something she heard on a Christian radio station today. I guess they were talking about all the different ways people prefer to be loved. Like some people like to be told it through verbally spoken words or through writing such as a poem or note.
I can tell that my fiance loves me through the loving, inspiring, and personal notes he leaves me and the conversations we have. He is constantly reminding me of how beautiful and intelligent I am and tells me at least once a day that he loves me and that he is lucky to have me.
True
Comments (34)
Look up a quiz on the five love languages. Finding out mine has helped my love life SO much.
I want to be loved verbally. Don't be afraid to express yourself! But of course, I would love to be shown love by affection as well...
Verbally and through actions. There's nothing sweeter than when my SO cuddles up next to me and whispers "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me". And I absolutely melt when he comes home with something and says, "I just had to get it for you, it reminded me of you so much". It's not even the material thing though. I just like it when he shows how he feels and spends time with me. :)
Sounds like the radio station program was featuring The Five Love Languages by Cary Chapman, though it sounds like the message was a little lost in translation. It's a very good book about interpersonal communication and how to show and receive affection from your significant other productively. Highly recommend it.
Quality time and quality conversation means the world to me. I hate it when people tell me they are going to hang out with me and then bail. That hurts more than anything else.
Love is confusing at times.
Affection, and through actions.
I think that if I had an SO, the way they could most show they loved me was if they went to my shows. (I'm a musician). I realized that when I was in a band and one of the band members was always hoping his wife would come see him play (most of the time she didn't), and I realized that I didn't think I could feel loved if my SO acted that way.
I would like to be loved patiently, kindly, unfailingly, unconditionally and wholly, just like Jesus Christ loves us.
Physical affection. Not to be confused with sex, I absolutely feel loved when I get hugs, kisses, cuddles, etc. I would say words of affirmation and quality time together come in 2nd, equally. My bf is a quality time guy. Which I don't mind, but since he's not a physical affection type guy, conflicts arise. He feels loved when I go with him on camping or hiking trips (something I'm not enthusiastic about, but do enjoy), and I feel loved when he musters up enough motivation (and courage I suppose) to give me physical affection every day.
@CHRiSTiNE_x@xanga - Yep!
I don't know. I have all these ideas, but you know I always wanted to be loved the way he want to love me. Someone tried to love me that way and it was just too much for me. Although I wanted him to slow down its like he didn't know what else to do.
Ugh, I feel so bad, but I'm like there are others ways...an I right? I know I am. he's not that funny but he makes me smile nonetheless with his nonsese. I like to be outside and I'm hoping we can do fun things together.
having fun with me shows me you love me. You can say it as much as you want if you don't show it it means nothing right?
That how I feel, but I think I feel that way towards myself cause I need to follow my own rules. I suck at love. Blaming other. I am a real girl and it sucks cause I am a drama queen. How can anyone love a drama queen?
UGH, but God loves me. And that's all I need right? sadness...I should cry now. But I wont cause I have a movie to watch and a guy to avoid.
5 LOVE LANGUAGES:
RECEIVING GIFTS/GIVING GIFTS
ACTS OF SERVICE
QUALITY TIME
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
PHYSICAL TOUCH
People generally give love the way they want to be loved. People generally do not understand any of the languages that aren't up their particular alley.
I need to be told verbally. Notes, texts, speeches, letters, and specific compliments. A lot of people tend to think that I am insecure, but it's not that. It's just that that is really the only way I truly feel loved and that is definitely how I give love.
People who are physical touch get told they are creepy or horndogs.
People who are gift receiving/giving are told they are spoiled and materialistic.
People who are quality time are told they are clingy and needy.
People who are acts of service are bossy, lazy, controlling, what have you...
Basically everyone needs to respect the way people around them receive love and try to love them that way which is the hardest struggle.
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I want to be loved by actions
actions say a thousand stuff. sincere and honest actions of course
@Jane - Ahh yes The Five Love Languages. I've read that book like a million times.
Personally, I don't believe RECEIVING GIFTS/GIVING GIFTS to be a really strong, effective way of communicating love.
Dichotomy here: When you use money to buy gifts, they can be appreciated but they don't do much to build rapport (creating a personal connection). Spending time in-person has a far, greater effect -- emotionally on someone -- because of the direct actions.
i want someone who i can talk to. and at the end of the day who kisses me and holds me close. i like it simple. no nonsense. easy. fun. flirty. you dont have to climbs a tree and knock on my window. just a call to say hello is enough. i want someone who isnt afraid to be who they are & who is able to accept me. i talk too much. cant cook and have ocd. if you can deal with that. you are perfect. =)
In a way that doesn't end in lawsuits.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - Word. I had a friend who's ex threatened to arrest him 0_0.
I'd like to be loved action-ly.If that can't happen, then verbally.Gifts discomfit me sometimes.
I am more for actions as well, it's so easy for people to say one thing yet their actions say another.
I think as far as the money thing goes, him having a job and able to support himself, is a sign of maturity and one day that will probably be a trait I'd like to see. I know that as of right now, I don't focus on that so much, because college keeps me as broke as all get out :/ (plus my parents are more concerned about me keeping up my grades than having a job).
I do think the idea of leaving notes is cute though :)
I like to do it in actions. Since I'm in an LDR, the only thing I can do is through words on the phone (I like talking on the phone and webcam). I also like to send a package and a love letter to her. I also let her know that I love her everyday through a text and then again when we talk on the phone at night. Little things like these do mean a lot and you shouldn't take it for granted.
through actions. but I need to be told I am loved every so often.
anything genuine and shows that he appreciates me.
just want to be loved genuinely and honestly.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - agreed.
Genuine thought behind those actions and words, would be all that would matter to me :)