My girlfriends and I came to the conclusion during one of our lunch meetings, that no matter how hard you try to "track" your man (so that he doesn't cheat), it is just completely pointless. The best we can do is to be both the slut and the saint, NOT just the saint.
If a man wants to cheat, he'll have every way to keep things that matter a secret and let you check everything else. Yes their dicks may sometimes decide for them but their brains DO have some uses at times. So even if you do everything you can to keep an eye on him (looking through his sms, emails, etc), it doesn't really work.
Temptation is everywhere. Why are the girls that aren't his so desirable? Because he is unfamiliar with them and wants to explore. The girls seduce men with their seductive smile and slutty behavior - something they don't see in their wives anymore for after 10 years of marriage.
These girls are like the new Ferrari model, flashy and red hot - and sometimes they don't even cost any money for maintenance. Whilst the wives are like the good old reliable Volkswagen - boring but works superbly.
What to do then? To keep our men to ourselves? We can't control them, because its utterly useless, but we can control ourselves. To be the slut, so that he'll find the latest and hottest Porsche in you but be the saint, as you fulfill his emotional and mental needs, giving him the best of both sides.
Keeping things new and not be afraid to try out daring sexy moves with him will at least allow you to retain some of his attention, if not all. Leopard prints? Do it. Sexy g-string? Buy it. Its not about being a slut, but in doing so, retaining competitiveness with all those temptations in the outside world.
What do you think is the best way to not let men go astray? How do you keep the romance sizzling?
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Comments (75)
I kind of disagree. If a man has too small of a peanut brain to stay commited without me giving him a lapdance every other night, he can go after the piece of trash and I can find someone smarter. Hey I am all for being sexy, but get real. We are not sexual servents, we shouldn't have to buy half of victoria secret to have a boyfriend. Just be real, passionate, and reliable. I've never had problems with disloyalty in any of my relationships, because they know that if they slip up then all the got left is the mistake they made!
Marry a good guy? I don't have to "track" my husband; I TRUST him. If you can't do that, you need someone else. Or, you need to check yourself out.
Why would I date someone I can't trust and need to track?
O_o
I agree that it's necessary to keep a relationship exciting, and it is EACH SO's responsibility to fulfill that need.
However, I wouldn't waste my time worrying about how to keep someone from going astray. If he loves me, he won't, and that works for every couple.
Wtf
Why good men usually lack confidence.
I think the other comments are right -- if you find the right guy, you don't have to worry. He won't cheat. I know I never could.
On the other hand, be the girl the OP describes, and the relationship goes from good to absolutely amazing.
This is stupid.
err, date more trustworthy guys.
and geez, way to insult both men and women. the madonna/whore dichotomy has got to go, and men are not lecherous idiots. datingish, would you condone a post that flippantly said women's "brains DO have some uses at times?" why do you let it slide when it's said about guys?
egalitarian fail.
this is dumb. learn to trust ur guy/girl
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - You have a huge point.
I wouldn't do all those things just so he wouldn't cheat on me. I would probably just let him know that if I ever found out that he cheat on me, whatever we have would be history.
I just stay non-exclusive for a while to see if I can learn to trust them, that way I don't have to worry about that crap...and if they do wind up messing with other people, I can't get mad since we weren't exclusive, but that just shows I couldn't trust the person if we were to go out.
if, like you said, he wants to cheat then he's going to cheat, your plan is epic fail. i speak from experience.
just because you're trying to act slutty, doesn't mean you're not the same girl who nags at him to fill her emotional needs, who he's done it with a thousand times.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - I completely agree. This is degrading to both men and women.
You say this like women never cheat. Why is it okay in your eyes for a woman to be so possessive of her SO? If a man does it, there's something wrong with him. Just trust each other. Not too hard.
This submission is just dripping with trust issues. Seriously, I can taste how insecure you and your friends are about your men. And it tastes like last week's brussel sprouts wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon.
It was nicely written and I'll give you a +2 for the car references since I'm a car fan. However... Quell the damn sexist stereotypes. It isn't just generally men who guilty of infidelity, either. http://www.revelife.com/722479197/why-women-leave-their-marriages/ Statistical references included too.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Nicely put and *Egalitarian high five*. Jaded point-of-views lead to shrewdless generalisations like this one.
I think the author is right in some of this post. You do have to be exciting! Any boy or girl could be totally trustworthy, but there is temptation out there. I know that sometimes I have been with a great person, but you bump into someone and you talk and there's an instant spark and it makes you think of possible outcomes. I don't know about being a slut but I think it could help keep anyone interested. Then again you should be able to trust who you are with, so everyone has a point that has commented.
(:
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - are you sure it wasn't referring to men's brains?
If a man is going to cheat, then there's nothing that you can do to stop him. If he doesn't want to be "monogamous", then let him be single.
@xXDC_luyouXx - high five!
@heroes_and_sociopaths@xanga - the post referred to men's brains. i'm asking why this is ok, and if datingish would still condone the sentiment if it were reversed and someone said that about women's brains
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - I agree.
This post upsets me .
Here's a thought, DATE A REAL MAN. Not a little boy who plays games.
i agree with what pretty much everyone is saying.
my guy and i look all we want, but we both know what will happen if EITHER one of us cheats. i trust him to just look. hell, i trust him to flirt. we both do it. it's natural. i'm not going to put a leash on my boyfriend.
and like @supaflychikn@xanga said, just because i act like a "slut" at night doesn't change the fact that i nagged him that day about putting leftovers away or doing the dishes, etc. changing myself drastically is not going to deter him from cheating if he's already planning on cheating. he's going to love me and stay with me for who i am and have always been, or he's not.
i'm not so desperate that i need to cater to his every whim (and probably come off as obsessive) to keep him around.
Dear author:
If that's the way you want to play it, go for it. I'm guessing you're assuming commitment on the other side as well.
A lot of girls didn't like what you wrote. That's fine too. I have to agree with him, that you didn't make the argument as well as you could've.
Girls have to worry about guys cheating? Guys never have to worry about their ladies doing so? They're "Brains are useful sometimes?" Way to go. I feel like a machine that mostly deposits sperm and might do an occasional equation once in a while.
Nice try though.