Sunday, 14 March 2010
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Fantasizing About Someone Else During Sex
Since we’ve all been so busy with midterms, I invited a few of my girlfriends over the other night for a cheese and wine night so we could catch up. After a couple glasses of the vino, we got to the juicy topics.
One of my girls dished that when her boyfriend was going down on her the other night, she started fantasizing about none other than Patrick Demsey until she came to an earth-shattering orgasm. So when her boyfriend came up for air with an “Oh yea—I’m the man!” expression on his face, she felt extremely guilty for thinking of another guy when he was working so hard to please her. “It’s not like I need to think about someone else to get me off—believe me Mike* knows what he’s doing," she said. "But it just happens…and it’s what I do to get off when I’m alone, so…”
We all kind of agreed that we’ve fantasized about someone else (usually a celebrity) while getting it on, some of us saying that we do it on a regular basis (even if we feel as though we are being satisfied by our boyfriends in bed).
Is this wrong or unnatural in some way? Do any of you ladies or fellas do this? Care to share who you fantasize about?
*"Mike" is my friend's boyfriend although his name has been changed for privacy reasons.
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Comments (74)
Hehe It's all good fun ;D
I typically don't.
But your friend raises a question....was her SO thinking of someone else too!
In the end, whether she was thinking of McDreamy or not, she was still there with her boyfriend. So I don't see a problem with thoughts. Trying to control what people think about is a little too Orwellian for me.
I've never done that before. Whenever I'm alone, I usually fantasize about my fiance then.
I never have, probably never will. Celebrities are only people, and I think elevating the status of someone just because they are famous or beautiful and going to such lengths as to fantasize about making love with them while doing it with someone else is absolutely bizarre. I find such fame worship repulsive and would hopefully not date someone who felt differently (though the intellectual quality of women I come into contact with is highly disappointing). However, I would not go so far as to tell people what they should and should not do but only caution them that they are disillusioned and insane.
Oh Gerard Butler. I fantasize about him all the time.
I've had friends tell me that they've fantasized about me when they're with their bf's but that's pretty much the only times I've ever heard of that from people I know. I've never been able to think of someone else when having sex, if I'm alone I'll think of pretty much anyone and everyone hehe.
Obviously you can't control what people think, but I'd rather not know about it if my boyfriend is thinking about someone else when we have sex.
I've never ever fantasized about anyone else during sex, or even by myself....I don't really understand that. You're probably not very attracted to your partner if you have to fantasize about someone else I think....
I do, even when I have been with some one I liked to fantasize about. I think it's just human nature and no big deal.
i haven't cuz my bf is all i need O
plus, i'd find it insulting if he was fantasizing about someone else :[
I fantasize about my boyfriend. Yeah, he's that hot.
Okay, and maybe someone else, that I'm too embarrassed to name, pops up every now and then.
Sometimes I'll start thinking about someone I don't want to think about, which sucks. I have a horrible time trying to focus. :(
I guess if it's a celebrity, it's fine, but if it's a friend or a guy she actually knows, I'd feel a bit guilty...
I personally never thought of someone other than my boyfriend and if I did, that'd raise a red flag for me...
fantasizing about having sex with some strange person I know nothing about.. eh not orgasm-inducing. I think of my fiance because I know I'd be pissed if I knew he thought about other girls while having sex with me.
I never think about anyone else during sex, if boyfriend did, I'd be so hurt. If he's alone and thinks of someone else, that would be bad enough, but thinking about someone else while he is physically inside my body making love to me...that would just be so incredibly hurtful. It would be even worse if it were someone he knows.
I've never fantasized about anyone else while with my boyfriend. I've never been crazy about celebrities though, don't care about them at all.
Alone? I fantasize about my boyfriend :) He's more than enough for me
@frozencherries@xanga - agree!
nope i don't fantasize about anybody. i just focus on my boyfriend and how good it feels (:
uhh i kind of have this whole friends with benefits thing going and the last time, i fantasized about my ex-boyfriend. probably a really bad thing.... oh well.
Not that I've experienced any of this first-hand, but I imagine it would take a lot more effort to actually wrack my brain and find a celebrity that I think is attractive than just thinking about the person I was doing it with. I mean... he's right there. I just open my eyes and he'd be in my mind.
But I don't find a lot of celebrities attractive in the first place.
studies (and personal experience) say that this doesn't happen when you WAIT for sex until you're married ;)
I think it's totally unnatural, and totally disgusting... Will it happen to pop into your head ? Perhaps... but there's a difference between having a stray thought and fantasizing about SOMEONE ELSE!!! O_O
As someone who was a virgin when I was married I can say that I basically don't experience this. My husband was ALSO a virgin, and we are EXTREMELY open and talk about our dirty thoughts, and what we think about others, and when we have a stray thought about someone else, etc... he doesn't experience this either.
If you think I'm wrong (it's a result of anything else,) you should look up the name "Mark Gungor," he's a doctor/marriage councellor. "Laugh your way to a better marriage"... he'll talk about people who "over sex" themselves and how (from what he's witnessed) this is what happens as a result.
tsk i just focus on my girl
Never had and never will. I hope to be sexy enough and I know that HE definitely is.
So far it's never come up, and I keep him engaged in me.
i do. i used to do it frequently. but it was mainly because my bf at the time wasnt enough for me and i started wondering about how my guy friends were in bed, that led to fantasizing about them.
johnny depp :)
I personally am incapable of imagining myself with someone else if I'm having sex with guy I really care about, and in a perfect world, he would only need to think about me in bed. Not to say I'll ditch him if I could read his mind and realize that he was thinking about Jessica Alba or something, but I'd highly prefer a boyfriend who thinks about me while he's being physically intimate with me.