Sunday, 14 March 2010
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Being A "Guys' Girl"
I've been on the tom-boyish side of the fence since I was a kid. Always playing tackle football instead of tag, laughing at things other girls would gag at. But prom isn't too far away, and this has become more of a curse than a preference.
No guy takes any interest in me because I'm their "bro" or "buddy." It sucks. I don't think anyone really expects me at prom, not in a dress. At least, they won't take me seriously in a dress. Whenever I wear a skirt (now, in highschool) or some makeup, or do my hair up pretty all my guy-friends think it's part of some elaborate prank.
It's a character flaw, sure: I slouch, I burp in public, I don't really care what I look like in the morning...but should being a "guys' girl" really get in the way of me being in a legitimate relationship?
Is it not okay for me to look pretty?
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- From: Day923@xanga
- Name: Day923
- About Me: In order to be old and wise you must first be young and stupid
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Comments (45)
Just because you're a tomboy doesn't mean you're not pretty and hell no it won't get in the way of having a relationship. That's how I got most of my old boyfriends.
lol my boyfriend has always wanted me to be more of a tomboy so that he could share his passion for football with me, and i would get just as passionate as him about it. never gonna happen; i'm something of a tomboy in plenty of other ways but sports just isn't something i'm into. i'm more than willing to kick his ass at gta, though. but, anyway, i definitely think you're allowed to be pretty, too. wouldn't that be every guys dream? a hot chick who is also laid back and able to chill with the guys and understand how a guy operates? i have way more guy friends than girl friends, and most of them wish their girlfriend could think more like a man and stuff. the only thing is, that their "ideal" girl according to them would be able to think like a man, but dress, look and move like a woman. which is why i think, though it might be awkward at first, it would be beneficial to you to continue wearing makeup and dressing up when you feel like it. people waste too much time, especially in high school, focusing on other people's opinions of them rather than just doing what they feel like doing. i used to be like that too, but at some point you just have to be you, regardless of what people think of it, because it's just way too tiring to try and be anything else. if YOU feel like dressing up nice for prom, then go ahead, and if people think it's an "elaborate prank' just shrug it off and be like "nah, actually i just really like this (dress or whatever it is), it's cute" or something. you might want to refrain from burping in public, because that's just rude for ANYONE, guy or girl, but there's absolutely no reason that you should give up your interests, nor is there any reason that you can't have both.
this was me - well, it still is - i've been "one of the guys" for as long as i can remember. but i've found somebody awesome. you just have to be patient :)
No, you are not allowed to look pretty.
What kind of fucking question is that?
You look pretty the way you are :)
lol. What? I like being with girls I can talk to easily and who understands me, so you having the understanding is attractive enough, plus if that is your profile pic and I had a list--you'd be on said list.
You'll find somebody who likes you as you are now but it's high school and most guys are still pansies. >_
You should ask somebody to go with you. Serious like, no jokes, no laughing...
Yep, you look alright so don't worry about that. The thing with tomboys though, a lot of men DO just see them as one of the lads - and most men don't want that from a SO. They want a girl's girl. No man, for instance, likes to hear his girlfriend fart.
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Surprise them at the prom! Of course you are allowed to be pretty!
I think you look very pretty in your picture! Of course you can be pretty!
Quite a predicament you have here. You're a female, you can multi task, wear heels andlipstick at the same time. Of course, I went from tom boy to being feminine as shit and I don't know where that came from.
Then again...boys and me don't mix well and they never had. I'll always have way more female friends than male friends. So I honestly don't know your pain.
You should have a watch of Married, Single, Other, Episode 2 I think. It's on www.itv.com/itvplayer (:
If you'd like to be taken more as a girl, you might want to tone down the urge to, for example, burp in public. You might want to start wearing things that are just a little more girly, while still being yourself, so that your guy friends realize that they are, in fact, friends with a girl.
Guys are terrible about seeing girls as girls if they don't act like it every so often.
That was a really convoluted sentence, but I think you can grasp what I mean.
Best of luck.
The key is confidence.
Boys only tease because they see you are going through a personal conflict (tomboy vs. pretty girl). If you let them know that there really is no conflict, well, they just might be ok with it.
How they treat you is how you look at yourself.
As a tomboy myself, I remember senior prom being a real disaster.
I tried everything to be pretty, but I had no experience with dressing up at all (the last time I wore a dress was in middle school).
Years later, still a tomboy, I often wear dresses or make-up. When my guy friends see me, they are more impressed with the confidence that comes with knowing that I can be a girl.
@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - I have to say I agree with you. At the risk of sounding like I'm telling women to put on makeup everyday, wear high heels, and dresses, I kind of am. Men like to date women who seem like...well, women. @Day923@xanga: I think that it's really cool that you are a tomboy. The problem seems to be the
typeof tomboy that you are. Not all boys burp in public and play tackle football. Maybe you could continue your tomboy tendencies without being a crass tomboy--maybe like a "boy next door" tomboy. I'm starting to ramble. My point is that you can be athletic, fun-loving, casual, etc. without having guys see you as a fellow guy. Great question though! I think lots of women have this issue.
For being such a tom-boy, you care an awful lot of what people think of you. Wear what you want, how you want, and where you want. For prom, fucking go all out! It's one of very few occasions where you get to get all dolled up, take advantage! You're obviously a very pretty girl.. You can be tom-boyish and girly at the same time, that's like the ultimate package like me hahaha.
Actually I find that more attractive. Maybe I'm weird?
Has anyone else looked at her profile picture?
Hun, you don't look like a tom-boy at all to me. At least not to the extent you claim to be. You look pretty dolled up in your picture, so clearly it's not THAT out of the ordinary for you to be looking pretty.
BUT, all that aside. I know what you mean about guys thinking of you as more of a "buddy" rather than a potential date. I had that problem for most of my middle school and high school years. Guys saw me as a friend, because I liked to do the things they did. Luckily, one of those friendships eventually turned into something more. Being friends with guys is actually a pretty good thing - good way to get to know them without too many mushy, gushy emotions attached.
Once you get in college you'll probably get hounded way more than you could imagine. Almost all the guys I know go straight for the tomboyish girl once they get to college. They find that not only are you pretty, and a girl, but you're someone they can have fun with as well so it makes like a perfect relationship. If you're able to be girly and dress up from time to time too that just makes it even better for them. I'm sure you'll be fine.
you should watch miss congeniality
As someone who's kinda been in this predicament before, you should learn how to portray yourself as both a tomboy with girly tendencies.
Don't let either side overwhelm the other too much and you can have...your tackle football and play it too?
Go for a girlish guy or something. =P
you might have to step your game up and end up asking someone.
im a tomboy and i basically only hang out with my boyfriend and his guy friends. its way better than being some stupid biddy that cries about a broken nail...
Look outside your blokes, it's like a whole new ocean with a billion more fish, I swear.