Saturday, 13 March 2010
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Spill, Men--Do You Ever Ignore Girls You Like?
What are the rules again? I forgot. Ok, let's see ...
He's just not that into me if he's not asking me out. He's just not that into me if he doesn't call. He's just not that into me if he's not dating me (isn't this the same as rule #1?). He's just not that into me if he's having sex with someone else .... Oh! He's just not that into me if he doesn't want to marry me. Nice, except we're nowhere near that chapter yet, because what I want to know right now is:
You sure he's not into me if he ignores me?
Here why I am asking: I ignore men I like. A lot. In fact, the less I like you, the more chance I'm gonna be up in your grill. I might flirt with you. (Though I probably won't date you. We all know how that goes.) I don't do this because I'm a super-bitch. It's not because I like to play games. The truth is, I'm kind of shy. And maybe on the defensive. Boys you don't like can't hurt you. So, when a dude I like happens to come around, I advert my glance, look over their shoulders and generally avoid them at all costs. Say what you want, but I'm not the only women who does this. In fact, I have many friends who implore similar tactics, albeit, for a variety of reasons. But we can debate why women do this (or, more interestingly, if it is actually effective) another post.
What I want to know now, once and for all, is if men ever do the same thing. I can't accept that mind games and covert tactics of love (lol) are gender-specific. Writers of self-help books are clearly obsessed with men being simple and direct. Why don't you tell me:
Do men ever ignore a girl they are interested in? Or are the rules for real?
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- From: jeanine
- Name: jeanine
- About Me: writer, reader, blogger, dog lover, foodie, floater, figuring the rest out
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Comments (102)
Well for me I don't ignore girls when I like them. HOWEVER, I do ignore them if perhaps there is someone in the way of me pursuing them (e.g., mutual friend liking her, or they have a boyfriend.) which instead I will ignore temporarily until I get an idea of what is really happening. I think it's pretty situational because I do ignore some girls that are pretty cute when I first meet them, because I don't actively flirt with every girl in the world. Hope this answers your question?
P.s., I hate theGame, but I'll play it if she wishes to go down that route.
No we just continually kiss there ass and kiss there ass so they can think we are to easy and therefore eliminate all attraction before it ever has a chance to get started. Kindergartner dating website at it's finest!
No I wouldn't ignore a girl I liked. I don't understand why anyone would do that seems counterproductive.
i think it would be stupid for men to ignore the women in which they are interested.
hahaha this sounds like me. I try to not do it but its a natural thing for me to do for some reason........
I guess Im not that confident in myself.
I ignore girls I'm attracted to all the time. It has no secret meaning, just that I'm shy and probably won't go up and talk to a girl I'm attracted to. If I become friends with a girl I'm attracted to, and the attraction doesn't fade and or gets stronger then I'll probably just be stupid and blurt it out.
I try to ignore girls I like sometimes, because truthfully, I don't think girls like finding out we're that into them.
It never works, though. :(
As far as the situation goes with the OP, I think you'd have way more success if you were just honest about things. Many of us guys are a lot worse at reading between the lines than you think.
Honestly? Yes. Sometimes I'll ignore a girl that I like. In fact, that use to be my default approach: the more interested I was in you, the less attention I'd pay you. That was in high school, mind you.
Shy? Perhaps. For me, I think it was more that I didn't want to end up getting hurt at the end of the day, and if you push away all the ones interested in you, then you'll never get hurt, right?
Now, I'll pay attention to the girl I'm interested in.
When we ignore girls we like, we're secretly wishing for them to come over and talk to us. We don't want to be annoying by walking up to talk that girl every time she walks into the room.
It's funny-I think I did this the other day to this smokin girl in my class.
Yes, we do ignore girls we like. For me it's usually because I feel like the girl is SO good looking she's out of my league (or may never have the same feelings I have for her).
Um I think women tend to ignore men because men are traditionally expected to chase after women. Anyways, I think it's weird as hell if a guy ignores the girls he crushes on...but somehow it seems to make sense when I ignore the guys I crush on.
ignoring people you like is a great way to make them go away.
I ignore guys i like for the same reason you do -- :)
If I dont want someones attention then its natural to ignore them but if I like em you have to put in the effort otherwise whats the point.And yes it seems men have to chase and women choose whom they want.
haha i dont ignore the girl i love.
haha! i do the same thing around guys i like too.
It's funny that you ask this because recently I discovered that someone I used to like actually liked me. At the time when I approached her, she brushed me off. So, after that happened a few times, I just thought that she really wasn't in to me. It wasn't until I stopped persuing her that she then tells me that she was in to me as well. She went on to say that she did the ignore thing too but in this case it didn't work. Because I had moved on.
So to answer your question, I don't do that. It sees like a total waste of time to me. And in the long run you could miss an opportunity that could have really gone well.
Why do people ignore the people they like? How counter-productive. O_O
I admit I'm guilty of downright avoiding people I like, but that's out of complete shyness. :3
to tell you the truth, i think that if a guy really likes you, he won't ignore you. but i have this guy. i think he likes me but i believe he's hiding it and is scared to tell me. read my weblog and give me your opinion.
Well isn't what you just said, playing hard to get? Some people might like the chase. I don't like doing that, if I like a girl, I like to show some interest.
It's largely situational, but I generally ignore a girl I like until I am fully aware of the situation (i.e. her relationship status, her likes/dislikes, etc). I don't like pursuing unless I get sufficient intel.
My last boyfriend didn't think I even liked him AT ALL, even as a person, because I would never say hi to him. I got so nervous I didn't know how to act or what to say, so I didn't say anything at all. I'd walk into a room and individually address 9 people and then leave him out. When I finally got over that, he asked me straight up "Why would you never say hi to me?"I simply cannot talk to guys I like. I need them to break the barrier first.
For guys, pretty much my "tell" is if i can talk to you like you're my best friend, i'm probably not interested in you like that.
So I hope to god the guys who like me aren't like that or we're both in alot of trouble and we're not gonna get anywhere. lol
I ignore the lovely miss only if I feel like I shouldn't be bothering them.
which is happening right now actually. muahaha.
Seriously? I annoy the hell out of the guys I like. I always pretend I don't understand something and ask for their help. Well, they don't like me back probably because I am so darn annoying. LOL
Well, I think it's less likely occurence that a guy ignores a girl he likes and does the opposite of trying to stick to her like glue -- also because men are generally (supposedly) uncomplicated.
That being said -- for the guys that aren't overconfident -- an extremely hot girl intimidates said guys a LOT; indirectly ignoring the extremely hot girl.
@pure_dasani@xanga -
That's funny! There use to be a girl that bitched the crap out of me. It turned out that it was her way of fighting her heart of wanting me.