Every time there's any sort of serious relationship talk between my girl friends, the conversation always turns to whether the person they're dating is "the One." Maybe it's a sign of our age or something, since the bulk of us are in our mid to late 20s and are considering marriage soon, but I remember having the same sort of conversations at 18.
The idea of "the One" always seemed sort of corny to me. It seemed like it was a fantasy that Hollywood or Hallmark made up to sell more movies or cards. The whole notion seemed way too starry-eyed and unpractical. It's not that I'm a total cynic or unromantic; I just have a hard time believing that there was only one person out there for me. For instance, what if that perfect person for me happened to be a kumquat merchant in Indonesia? Does that just mean I'm screwed?
I remember posing this question to one of my best friends. His answer, "Whomever I marry will be my "One," has stuck in my head ever since. I believe in that same sentiment now. It's not that there's one predestined perfect individual out there for each person. Rather, whomever you end up with ultimately is the one that you CHOOSE to have a relationship with, to work hard for, and to surrender yourself to for life. Now, isn't that the epitome of romance?
Do you believe in "the One?" Do you think that there's one perfect person out there for each individual or do you think that your significant other can become your "one" and you theirs?
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Comments (64)
nope. too unrealistic.
no relationship can be perfect. i think if there was such a thing, there would be a sign of it rather than just overworked hormones or sexdrives. sorry if i dont make sense
i don't believe there exists only one person with whom one could be compatible enough to share a life-long monogamous relationship.
All I could think of when I read the title of this post, is "what else is there?"
@matchstickfireflies@xanga -
When you say "what else is there?"
I think of the movie The Swan Princess.
Haha.
Nope. I believe many people are highly compatible, and every person is replaceable. Damn you, Beyonce.
I believe in him. Hope for his swift arrival. And wait for the day that I meet him.
I think there is one person out there who would give you a love that most people never find. But I also think there are a lot of potential matches out there. They may not give you that novelesque type of love, but they'll give you all they've got and make you happy. Love can definitely be cultivated and perfected.
i hope it isn't correct. but i fear it might be. idk...
but if there is only 'one' then she has come and gone so that is that ^^
either way no need to burden oneself with these questions, que sera sera.
I have now had three "Ones".
there are 6.7 billion people in the world.
no there is not "one" for all of us.
there are many. most of them, and maybe none of them, will you ever meet.
reality.
I think "the One" .. is a bit unrealistic .. but I like to believe in it. Well I do believe in it.
I don't believe in the one, because I believe a person can make it work with multiple people. I don't believe that there's only one person you can be highly compatible with. There are multiple people that it can just work with. That's how I see it anyway.
I don't think there is 'the one'. I think as you go along in your life at different stages a person can fit themselves to you. Saying that there is 'the one' implies that there can be no one else and I don't think that is true. I think you can fall in love and learn to love multiple people.
I found my "One." There's not another man I'd want to be with. No one else would fit me as well as he does. He pushes me to be the best I can be, but still lets me be me. I'm thankful for him every single day. He's everything I ever wanted and more.
So, yes, I believe in the "One." Which doesn't always mean it's easy, but he's the only one I'd want to work through things with.
-Katie
I used to believe in "the one." I thought i found him and I was SOOO wrong, that I was left disillusioned, stumped and confused. And now... I'm not so sure. Because... how could I have been so wrong?
It depends what we define 'the one' as. Most people define it as 'the perfect complement to yourself, and the pinnacle of perfection.' Well then the answer would be I don't believe they exist.
If however we simply define it as 'our future partner (or current)' then yeah it can exist. The length of time this person remains 'the one' varies I believe. Some people may believe it only lasts a week, others a year or two, and still others....for the rest of their lives. But everyone is different.
yes
I believe my bf is "the One" I chose to be with.
No, not really. Which is not to say that I'm not a romantic at heart, because I am.
lol! ok so my friend and I have a theory on this. Everyone we've known who has said their SO was "the one" has broken up within two weeks of saying that cursed phrase....LOL so no, I don't believe it. It only brings bad luck hahaha
I believe there are a lot of people who'd fit each of us well enough to be "the one." Just a matter of who lucks out and grows on you in that way, and visa versa.
Well, if I believed that, then no one would ever get married more than once and be truly happy. But I've seen many women who have remarried especially after a spouse has passed away and be 100% happy.
I think that I would be happy with a number of people, but I am very happy with my husband. I think I would define him as having the most attributes that I wanted in "the One" as well as some other attributes I had never even thought about. If he had never come into my life, I believe that I could have been happy with someone else. Relationships take work.... no matter whether you believe in "the one" or not.
i highly doubt that there's only one person out there for us. if you think about it, there are many people in this world, and to think that one out of the millions of billions of people in this world could truly understand you is just a bit far-fetched. but say this is true, wouldn't there be less couples out there?
i suggest we all stop using the words, "the one", once and for all.
i believe in - right one, right now..
believing in The One is like turning a blind eye to the divorcees who also, once, believed in The One when they walked down the aisle. the person who's going to be The One for the rest of your life requires huge efforts from both sides and not magically dropped from above with a big red bow and a tag that says THE ONE.
too hollywood..
no I don't believe thers is the one I think the whole point is just to find some one that makes you happier to be around them and honestly theres prolly alot of people like that for everyone cause if you believe in the one i bet at some point you thought all your past relationships were the one or you wouldnt have tried so hard .
honestly, i can't imagine sticking to one person forever. no, i'm not polyagamous... but i think having the expectations of that will lead me to jump into a marriage and ultimately a divorce. i have fallen in love several times (if only for a moment) once with a man in a New York bookstore. we locked eyes for a one second, and we both harshly looked down. but he just seemed perfect. i never saw him again after that, but that one moment we had was amazing.
i don't know. people probably think i'm weird haha. i have a boyfriend currently and i'm not expecting forever from him... we shall go where the wind takes us.