Thursday, 11 March 2010

• A Rebuttal: Speed Dating Was Not For Me

  

  I'm glad that pandoratheexplorer had a a nice time speed dating.  I, on the other hand, was not so lucky.  Maybe it was the service I used, because, at my "event," the attendees were definitely potential serial killers, the conversation was scary and I didn't feel the pressure to fall in love.  But I think that was for entirely different reasons.

  Here's how I ended up speed dating:  My friend Glinda (remember her?) was upset.  This dude (not the ugly one) had done her dirty and, in between bites of ice cream and (for some weird reason) repeated viewings of The Karate Kid, I come up with the bright idea: "Let's go speed-dating!"  Glinda looks at me, one-part horrified, three-parts intrigued, "Yeah, ok," she says, then adds quickly "I know some girls who will want to come along!"

  Two nights later, I'm sitting in the dark, dreary and aptly-named Sin Sin's Leopard Lounge, trying to figure out how my "complimentary" drink required me to buy a first one.  "It's actually a 2-for-1 special," the event organizer explains as she nervously hands me my match card. "And we had some gentlemen not show up, so you two will have to share."

  This turns out to be a godsend, especially since Serial Killer #1, who's already approached our table twice, keeps pointing and winking at me.  I'm doubly counting my blessings when Serial Killer #2, whose from Florida, asks Glinda if she wants to see his bayou.

  W.T.F?

  By the time Serial Killer #3 shows up, asking me if I work for Homeland Security (I wish I was making this up), any normal, well-intentioned fellow in the bunch has gotten lost in my shuffle.  Glinda, however, remains more optimistic.  "I really liked Kenny," she tries.  "Oh, yeah," I nod supportively.  "He seems good for you."  From across the room, Serial Killer #1 sticks his tongue at me.

  What was your speed dating experience like?  Did you find it to be productive and pleasurable?  Or did you, like me, want to run kicking and screaming?  Do I need to try to again?  Or do most of these "events" live up to the aforementioned stereotypes?

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