Thursday, 11 March 2010
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F*** Buddies With My Ex?
Ive always hated the term, and never understood why anyone would want to be considered a f*** buddy until quite recently. I've gotten out of a 3 and a 1/2 year relationship about two months ago, and my hormones and emotions are everywhere.
All I know really is one thing: every time I see the guy all I want to do is fuck his brains out.
Our relationship ended one because of my lack of wanting to go outside and do physical activities with him and him cheating on me twice. It's all about helping his image. The kid has to be good at everything, and his girlfriend has to be the same. I know that isnt good for me. I'm not completely incapable. The crux of this is that he still wants to be my best friend, be there for me, do anything he can to stay friends with me.
This makes the sexual tension ridiculous. He still wants to fuck me, but doesnt want to hurt my feelings or lead me on to thinking that we are back together just because we are joined at the groin for a few hours. I'm strictly a monogamous person, so even if we were just fucking, if he's got another partner, I wouldn't be doing that with him anymore.Is it good to be fuck buddies with your ex even if all it is, is just sex?
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- From: JuliaGodricCaesar@xanga
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 6709 Comments: 0 134 View all posts by JuliaGodricCaesar@xanga
Comments (59)
Totally okay. Just as long as you set boundaries. It'd be just like having sex with any other person.
I think the only way it works is if both parties are completely over one another. And even then, it's iffy, because there /were/ romantic feelings for awhile and they can easily resurface in a lot of cases.
To be honest... this sounds like a recipe for trouble. He wants to stay best friends but fuck you, his girlfriends have to be as good as he is (but he's got a pristine image), etc? It doesn't sound good given what you've said.
I dont know. Like it or not, sex carries emotions & consequences. People want the emotional & the physical at the same time but they dont want to give up the person but fuck buddies are strictly physical. Then you have other people in the mix later if you meet someone you want to be with. It's too complicated to me, not worth it.
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - exactly. this sounds risky...
Sooner or later feelings will get involved, on either end of the spectrum. If he meets someone and wants to stop hooking up, are you going to be jealous? Are you going to miss that attention and affection?
It doesn't sound like this is gonna work for you... you are not over him at all
Yeah you guys can ignore this post. He left me completely today so theres no chance in hell. I dont even want it anymore.
I know I would end up regretting it; if not just now, certainly in the long-term.
If you're that turned on by him, I suppose keep on going ... if you're comfortable. You seem uncertain about it though. It's just strange to have this deal going with an ex; no idea if it's good or bad. You'll do whatever you decide is best for you, anyway.
@JuliaGodricCaesar@xanga - Oh. That sucks. Sorry. :/
I have to agree with the person above saying only if both people are over one another...I tried the whole friends with benefits thing with my first love, after we broke up. Because I wasn't over him, it didn't work too well for me and I was still really upset about everything. Friends with benefits is ok as long as both people understand it's just sex
Firstly, bad idea, end of story.
Secondly, joined at the groin for hours? I envy your stamina.
@JuliaGodricCaesar@xanga - oh wow, i'm sorry :(
Hmm this sounds all too familiar. Well for the time being if he's not taken then just have some quickies with him to satisfy those urges. I wouldn't say the 'fuck buddy' idea is good for long term.
hmm..i'm having the same problem.
except it was only 2 1/2 years..
i really don't know what to do either.
i dont let him call me that though, i'm his "best friend" haha.
i really think i'm gonna end it though, cause this isn't going anywhere.
i mean we get back together for like a month or two.. so whats the point?
Clearly this guy is only using you to satisfy his physical urges, no matter what else he may tell you. Tell him you never want to see his sorry ass again -- or keep having sex with him, and end up emotionally damaged as heck.
it's never "just sex". and it sounds like you still have feelings for him, which will just confuse and hurt you further in the long-run.
this happened to me a while back. it had been a few months since the breakup so he thought we could just be, you know, "buddies". of course, i took it that i thought we would end up getting back together. after a couple months of this, and my heart getting ripped out a second time, we FINALLY parted ways for good (my decision). i haven't seen him since. but i regret giving him that second chance episode, and for not just letting go of him the first time. continuing the physical portion just kept rubbing salt into the wound, you know? plus, he was a jerk and he didn't deserve anything from me. if this guy cheated on you he certainly doesn't deserve anything from you either!
ive done that
my ex boyfriend and i continued to have sex for years after we broke up. neither of us have had any problems with it.
immoral
I wouldn't say it's fine to do so, since it most likely will cause problems down the road.
i dated this one guy that even after we broke up, we still had sex and to this day, it's probably the best sex i've ever had because it felt so bad to have sex with my ex but it felt so good.
i've done it. i think it's fine, as long as you're both aware that there are no emotions involved. i actually think its better than a random person because you trust them, and you're familiar with them. everyone needs to get off once in a while.
been there, done that.
it is a TERRIBLE idea.
that's all i have to say.
then again, it's different for different people... i know i wasn't mature enough at the time, so...
I did this with my ex for a few months after we broke up. It was a bad idea.
NEVER a GOOD IDEA...Ex's are Ex's for a Reason!! If you decide it's what you really WANT, don't let me stop you... I just think you should move on.