The person who wears the trousers (yes, I'm British) in a relationship is the dominant person who controls things. Historically, men always wore the trousers and women never had a say; but thanks to the bra-burning revolution, there is (somewhat) equality today. Anyone can wear the trousers today...(or skirts, if that's what you're into!)
I'm currently enjoying the 4th month of a relationship with my boyfriend, Mr Dorky. I'm happy to announce that he is the trouser-wearer in our relationship. He is not controlling, but it's because I am indecisive and making a simple decision like, "Should I go to the gym today?" is difficult for me!! Haha! The best thing is that whenever there's a major decision to be made, my boyfriend will discuss the options with me and make sure I am comfortable with the final result. My boyfriend wears the trousers in our relationship because he is
in control of the situation, and not because he is
controlling.
What gets to me is that one of my girl-friends refuses to admit that she is the trouser-wearer in the relationship. She will tell her other half to
"Do this, do that! Don't eat that. Eat this instead!" Everyone in our circle of friends know that the guy is, ahem, "pussy whipped", but the girl-friend refuses to acknowledge this. The guy knows that she is the boss, but for some bizarre reason, she insists that
he is the trouser-wearer, which is evidently not true. I wish she would be loud and proud about being the trouser-wearer (or even say that they share the trousers) instead of the pathetic attempt to cover the truth.
Who wears the trousers in your relationship? Why are there still women out there who are afraid to admit that they're the trouser-wearer in a relationship?
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Comments (23)
We... both do? Cause, we like to make decisions together, and we don't command the other to do anything?
I tend to. How else would we eat healthy? But he is usually dominant in the bedroom, I generally let him make the "where shall we go?" decisions and I try to never trample on what he wants to do or create the dreaded "pussy-whipped" boyfriend.
The situation determines who's making the primary decisions, but I think we're pretty equal.
since this post is "yay equality" (i think?) and all, it's kind of ironic how it uses a gender-specific analogy that's a throwback to less equal days. maybe some women don't want to say they're "wearing the trousers" because they believe traditionally male attire has nothing to do with "power" in a relationship. or they don't think control/"being the boss" should even be an issue in a relationship.
also, this has been asked, lovelyish.
I have never worn the trousers in a relationship. Though I did once wear some hotpants.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
I wear the pants most of the time I think.
It's strangely a turn on when I find guys that I can't control though. I've decided to seek more of those out lately. My biggest complaint with most men is that they "have no backbone" so I need to find someone who can dish it out at least as well as he can take it. =]
We kind of both do.... it depends. I deal with a lot of the childcare/dinner-making/cleaning/financial decisions. And well, he decides a lot of the "what are we doing this weekend" type things, I guess.
I do.
I drive half an hour to and half an hour from his place all the time. I work and I go to pharmacy school. He goes to school twice a week, plays video games when he's not with me, and stays home without a job and license.
When it comes to making decisions, he always leaves it up to me. So therefore, I believe I am wearing the pants in our relationship.
But that's okay because I'm happy and our love for each other is so so so so strong that it simply rules out all these flaws. =P
I'm still amazed that it isn't a defaulted concept to have equal effort in decision making.
It's historically and commonly that men lead in relationships. I hate it when a girl complains about a bad date (like the restaurant didn't turn out so great) or such where the guy went through the burden of planning it and paying for it.
It's a bit vexxing when a guy is expected to lead and make decisions wherein a girl takes the less arduous road of following. Yet, the girl complains when a decision made by a guy turns out badly. You forfeit any right to complain when you're complacent and indifferent in decision making.
We try to make everything equally decided, but I always tend to have the final say. But my husband is very easy going and I am very detailed orientated and more controlling about the way I like things/ want things done so, we have always been like that and it works well for us.
I'd like to say that I'm the trouser wearer, as the chivalrous and masculine being that I am. One bat of those big brown eyes though, and my knees go weak. She can make any decision she fancies.
it's a combo of us both i suppose, but moreso me.. which actually i do NOT like. i don't order him around at all or anything like that, but i do feel like i'm more the logical/decision-maker one, and he's the emotional/i'll-do-whatever-you-want one.. and you'd think any girl would like that. but honestly the clinginess and servitude gets old. i wish he would be more..well, manly. ::shrug::
Erm, I used to be in my past relationship not because the guy is whipped but because he just didn't have initiative with anything. Now, I'm not really sure. Both, I think? But mainly him because I am so indecisive but I usually object if I really don't agree or want something.
We both do equally. In past relationships I was always the dominant one though, and that's exactly why it didn't work out - i wanted a MAN, and I finally have him
I have always been the bossy type but he balances me and our relationship out. So it's both of us that call the shots.
@StillNotaPrettyGirl@xanga - My boyfriend is also "what do YOU want?" type man, which can get kind of annoying because I just want him to pick something because I can be soo indecisive sometimes! lol
it's 50-50 for us, at least that's what i think. i let him make decisions but i also have input all the time.
@l0veBabyx@xanga - lol, exactly! sometimes you just want them to take the lead!! i have enough stress, and i enjoy if i don't have to plan things too.
@thedommediaries@xanga - haha yesss exactly. i usually wear the pants in all my relationships.. without that intent. it starts out equal.. but it never takes long and im in control of everything. its definately a turn on when a guy takes control, i just dont see it much.
My husband does most of the time.
I can't be in a relationship that isn't as close to eqaul as possible. That's probably why I'm rarely in them.
It kinda depends on what type of decision it is. Generally, my man makes most of the decisions. I wear the trousers..er, apron... when it comes to deciding things like when the house needs a good clean.
i'd say he wears them more often. i like a man to pull my hair and tell me when dinner should be on the table.
The default is usually the man because society is set up that way. Women respond better to men who approach them, lead, and are dominant, especially at the beginning. This probably evn true more sexually than relationship wise- i used to know 2 professional dominatrixes, both of which were actually sexually submissive in their private lives.