Thursday, 11 March 2010
-
When and How to Drop the "L Bomb"
Someone had asked what does it mean to say "I Love You" and this was my response.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months and we still have not dropped the L word to each other. But we do mention things like 'I love it when you do this' or 'thanks for the gift, I really love it!' I am a believer that actions do speak louder than words and this is the first relationship (my third boyfriend) that I have not dropped the L bomb.
When I say it, it means that I'm in it for the long haul and I'm getting serious with this relationship. The exception to this is that I understand that he may not be ready to make that commitment (he thinks that it will fall right into marriage) and so I don't say it so there's no pressure or to make things awkward. Why fix what's not broken?
Don't get me wrong, sometimes I would love to hear him say it and be super mushy but he's not that kinda guy and I knew that going into the relationship.
When do you think the right time to tell your SO you love them is?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: XmZxeXpliCtX@xanga
- Name: melissa
- Location: Pasadena, California, United States
- About Me: <script type="text/javascript"> var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-18671826-2']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); </script>
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 2629 Comments: 0 48 View all posts by XmZxeXpliCtX@xanga
Comments (48)
I think for me it's always transitioned from "I love...being with you." to "I love...you."
When is the time to tell them you love them? When you honestly do love them
there's no timetable to follow because every relationships different. :)
my bf and i are the same but we haven't been together too long. i'm only going to say it when i really mean it and it feels like it's the right time. just because he doesn't say it, doesn't mean that you should hold back if you really mean it.
@NewYorkbebe07@xanga - You said it exactly like I would! =D
i don't say it until i mean it.
I think that saying I love you should mean that you are completely committed to them and it is the stage where you want to spend the rest of your life with them. I will never say I love you to someone until that happens.
for some reason I thought you were talking about the "lesbian" bomb
anyway tell them when you feel it.
My boyfriend and I have only been together a couple of months, and when I entered the relationship the plan was not to say it because I felt like it would turn our relationship into every other past relationship I've had. Which always seemed to fail. But after about two weeks, he said he loved me, and at first I was totally honest about how I felt that I might not love him ... I did spend time with an ex a few days after hearing him say it and I realized that I love everything about him. The way he smiles, the way he laughs, how he holds me, his general being amazes me. And I've never felt this sort of connection with anyone ... I truely do believe I love him. Anyway, enough with my rambling, simply put, I think it's different for everyone. There is no allotted time that you're supposed to say it in. If you feel it then say it.
When it feels right, duh.
When you start thinking it in your head all the time and have to stop yourself from saying it accidentally because you realize you haven't before. That's one example. There are a lot of good times to say it.
I guess it depends on your definition of love in the first place. Some people mistake infatuation for love. I think you should wait until you know that you know him. the real him (not the idealised romanticised him) and that takes time.
I met a guy on myspace that lived two states away who told me he loved me after two days and 14 hours of AIM chat logs when I was a freshman in High School and fourteen. It was before he heard my voice.
Three years later, and believe it or not he's currently sleeping next to me. The only advice I can really give is to just take things as naturally as you can and wait until you feel that it's right.
Even if you were to drop the L-bomb, he should respect you enough to not get massively offended and freak. When my current love told me that he loved me so many years ago and asked if I felt the same, I told him "that's a big word for me, but I definitely feel a lot for you". Until I could say the L-word, that was enough for him. Just don't be afraid.
On the other hand, I once told someone I loved them when I was drunk. It was when my SO and I were 'off' and it was before he came out to see me for the first time, so I was trying to 'get over him and find a "real boyfriend" (haha, I was fifteen, what do you expect). I thought I really meant it. It was a hilarious moment, even moreso the next morning...but just make sure you're doing this in a right state off mind.
When you guys hang out long enough, or when you look at that person and you feel like you can do anything or if the person is all you can think about and talk about.. sort of like they are the one your life revolves around ( I am just talking about the feelings... not like they are or anything) <-- maybe that's the right time it just slips out. My heart litterly skipped many beats because it was beating so fast when he first said those 3 little words. And I knew I felt the same way... that was the right time.....
Check out my dating blog: http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
i say the word, when i really do mean it. not when i think i mean it, when i KNOW i mean it. when i really DO love the girl
same as @chanchina@xanga xD
The minute I sensed that we were on the same wavelength, I said, "Can you get me a coffee? Oh, by the way, I love you too." - and he very nearly rammed my coffee cup through the sliding door!
He sat down quickly, and said, "How did you know?"
I said, simply, "We'd been dodging the L-bomb for quite a while, now. So...boom...here it is.", pause, "I got it.", I take up the cups, and busy myself in the kitchen so that neither of us would have "awkward silence".
We got married just a few months after that, although he didn't immediately return the given words...I think he was too busy trying to regain his composure.
When you know, you will know - and there is no set time or timing for it...you just feel it, feel it returned, and the stronger of you two will go with it.
when it feels right....when you're about to explode...when you find yourself sitting at home, washing dishes, watching tv, taking a shower, feeding the dog and you suddenly smile and think, "damn, i love him/her." ...that's when you know.
Hmm... you should never tell them. Make them say it first.
I've never dropped the L bomb on anyone in my past relationships. I would rather show them that I love them without me telling them I love you every single day. I did have boyfriends who never waited long enough to tell me that they "loved me", so when they told me that they loved me only two weeks after dating it was just this weird awkward feeling that I got when I came around them.
I even had a boyfriend who told me he loved me every single day. But it just annoyed me just hearing it because he never meant it.
Thank you for this article...my boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months, and I was starting to worry that it's been too long and something is wrong, because he hasn't said it and I refuse to say it first!! You're absolutely right, actions do speak louder, so when he makes me dinner or holds my hand, kisses me on the cheek, neck or forehead as he passes by, it says a lot. I had one bf who said it after three months, and I knew he didn't really mean it, he just wanted to say it to his gf, so I would rather have my current SO really mean it before he says it. Good luck!
Funny, I just blogged about that.
Eight months isn't that long; give it time.
If you're in it for the long haul, you have a long time together ....
You'll just know. I am somebody who makes sure that I really do and wait for a long time to say it.
Isn't this kind of obvious? You say it when you feel it, and if you don't know whether or not you should, you probably shouldn't.