Wednesday, 10 March 2010
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Beware: You Might Be a Registered Cheater!
When I suggested that you send your ex hate-mail a few posts back, I didn't realize I was thinking so last century. Revenge, these days, is best served digital. At least that's what the people behind cheaterregistry.com suggest when they created a website devoted to exposing (you guessed it) cheaters.
Actually, according to its founders, cheaterregistry.com was started altruistically. The site was designed to dissuade cheating through, first, its actual existence and, second, its ability to "foster communication between two people before infidelity occurs."
Ok, sure, whatever. I'm sure that's exactly what site visitors have in mind when they create a "cheater profile" (remit with proof, partial phone number and identifying characteristics) for their partner.
Now I love a grudge as much (if not more) than the next person, but this site seems a little extreme. I'm also not entirely sure it's legal. There is such a thing as slander and defamation (though maybe these rules are more lax when it comes to the internet.)
The site itself seems to circumvent liability by requiring that each user provide three pieces of proof of infidelity. Without the proof, the profile won't be posted. The site runners also specify that it's the person who posted the info, not them, which means the cheatee is responsible for any (mis)information. User beware: this means you're getting sued, not the registry.
Legality aside, browsing the site is one-part hilarious, two-parts heart-breaking. 30 seconds in, I was feeling bad ... for the cheaters. It's one thing to be honest about what a douchebag your ex may or may not have been. It's another to post pictures of them, their tattoos, their other SOs and their wild nights all over the internet. When I got to the profile that included an 86-page police report, in which the cheater had had the accuser arrested (ummm, that's proof against who exactly), I was trying to figure out how to de-registered myself from the site. These are cheaters, after all, not sex offenders. And this site bring new meaning to the phrase "GET OVER IT!"What do you think about cheaterregistry.com? Would you ever create a "cheater profile" for an ex? What would you do if someone created a profile for you?
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- From: jeanine
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- About Me: writer, reader, blogger, dog lover, foodie, floater, figuring the rest out
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Comments (31)
I didn't actually go look at the profiles (I didn't feel like creating an account)
but the website claims to be "promoting communication."
Which is hilarious and counterproductive.
I think that blasting a former love over the internet is a waste anyways. Even if they cheated, what is this website going to solve? I highly doubt that many people reference it before dating.
&If someone did that for me, I'd be really fucking confused, as I've never cheated. (:
Interesting though.
WOW! There's registries for everything now!! Except on this one, you cant ask for gifts. LMAO
All joking aside, I really do agree this site is silly. I get that cheating hurts & stuff but people would take this steps beyond that & probably make up things or post info that can ruin a person's life. That would make you worse than the cheater. What does this look like for you if you sit on your computer airing dirty laundry for the world?
I'm not saying being cheated on wont hurt but the best thing you can do is move on & live your life better knowing that you did the best in your former relationship & be happy. That's the best revenge you can ever have.
Although out of curiosity, I may join just to see the junk people post on here!
i think that is pretty childish to sit there and make up a profile about someone like that
Meh I think it's better to just not create sites that like to prevent innocent people's reputations from being ruined.
and there are always people who truly regret being unfaithful who feel absolutely terrible and have vowed to never hurt someone like that again.
But there are always going to be the psychotic, cruel idiots who feel the need to do things like this.
I wouldn't go through the hassle of putting someone on here, but I feel like I understand it.
I have no sympathy for cheaters.
That's just sad.
This could really easily be abused, but I have to admit that it would be handy for finding out if someone you've just started dating is/was a player. I know that people can change and deserve not to be judged too harshly for their pasts, but if a guy has really changed his ways and atoned for his mistakes, an ex wouldn't be posting angry things about him on the internet. (unless she was really crazy)
There's always someone out there trying to get me in trouble...
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
Hey, if there are sites all over the place helping to make it easier for people to cheat, there can be sites that expose these cheaters.
might as well make a site for 'meanies' who over-react when asked out.
generally i bet all a cheater is, is someone with a different view of exclusivity, and i while i didn't look, i doubt a majority of the people on there thought they were exclusive.
also i bet there are some people who were dumped posting about SOs who have simply moved on...
would i make a profile? not likely...
Bleah, I've been cheated on. It sucks. I would never waste my time making a profile on that website but I can understand it. I also see how it could come in handy if its used correctly, but like all things, it's going to be abused.
Like someone commented above, I have no sympathy for cheaters. I know my cheater was deeply sorry about what she had done, but the fact is, it still happened. We're friends now, but the fact that that happened will always make me leery of her.
I'm making myself an account on this site just to see what's going on, but I would never make a profile for anyone, and I hope no one would for me, considering I've never cheated.
O.O is for both girls and guys or only guys?
@bamxocandy@xanga - agreed
seriously? don't people have anything better to do with themselves than to sit there and try to get back at someone? it's their karma not yours. suck it up, move on and do something productive with your life.
That's pretty effing pathetic.
1) Get over it. So they cheated on you? Nobody cares. Man up, move on and find someone who won't cheat, instead of bitching about it.
2) There are so many different reasons for cheating--not everything is black and white. Maybe the person didn't know it was supposed to be an exclusive relationship. I'm not trying to give cheaters any excuses, but not everything is as cut and dry as, "She's such a whore!" or, "He's a self-centered asshole!"
3) I don't believe humans are designed to be monogamous. There are people who choose to remain monogamous and people who don't, but as someone who doesn't particularly care for commitment or monogamy, I feel that sometimes there just isn't really a point limiting yourself to one person, especially if the relationship doesn't appear to be going anywhere or if the relationship is still at the point of being casual.
I have cheated in the past (and by cheated, I don't mean that I had sex with someone else--I am NOT that kind of a girl, and I have never done that before). I'm not proud of the fact that I'm not someone who finds it easy to commit to one person, but that's the truth and it is what it is. However, I have never cheated (and will never cheat) on my current SO. The reason is because, unlike others from my past, I have built a family with this man and I believe he is my future. I choose to be with only him because he is my family now and what we have is so much more important than a sloppy makeout with anyone else. He's also, in my experience, the best thing out there for me, so I wouldn't even want to waste my time with anyone else--I'd rather just have my man anyway.
People change, and circumstances change. Just because someone has cheated on past partners doesn't necessarily mean they'd do it again--if you as a partner are giving them everything they need, there shouldn't be a need to look elsewhere.
If that's how you react to being cheated on, then you should not be allowed to love any human being. I'm sorry.
I wonder if I have a profile on there.
kids would love this service, they tend to bicker the most when getting cheated on.
@xoxokissme@xanga - exactlyyy
I guess you'd only do it if you was jealous of your ex's (the cheater) new girlfriend!? Like you'd want her to know, so she'd break up with him!? I'unno. It seems a bit pointless to me though.
hah, i just registered. oops.
Ok as great as I think this is, I'm scared of a site like this as well and would never want any part of it.
What if an ex put you on here and you didn't cheat at all, they were just trying to slander you?
That would really suck. Because then there's this whole profile with all your information that you have no control of.
I know people who cheated and as much as I'd like the world to know, I wouldn't put it on there because that's not fair. I mean, is the point of this to warn their future dates? Or just to piss them off? Because... how would anyone know about it?
So my vote is no, don't do it.
This shit is stupid. This site can ruin lives. Sure, some people that cheat don't care about what they did, but a good amount of people actually feel bad about it. This site seems to subscribe to the idea of "once a cheater, always a cheater," which is complete crap. People can change. Interestingly enough, this reasoning is also why I'm against Megan's Law.
i've never cheated, nor have i been cheated on in this life. and certainly i don't believe in revenge. instead, i believe in karma. whatever you do to others will be done to you, today or in your future incarnation.
I feel like this is something I would see on GossipGirl, not "real" life.
@quinn - Haha omg seriously right? It totally is something that would fit onto GossipGirl
&& I agree people who do post things like that really need to just get over it already and move on. It sucks to be cheated on, but there are more important things to focus your attention on then somebody who would do that to you