Tuesday, 09 March 2010
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Datingish Advice: Is There an Etiquette to Flirting?
I am a “serial flirt”. And I love it. I am not looking for anything serious right now, so it’s basically how I get some giggles and smiles, ha. But what to do when a guy wants more? And I don’t feel that attraction? (I flirt with everyone, just can’t stop myself, but no one is very attractive to me lately.)
Is it because I’m flirting too much? I was just wondering if there’s a way to maybe not flirt so much so as to stop these guys thinking I’m really interested. Because I know of some who flirt A LOT and manage to evade the guys asking them out, which makes me worry I’m going overboard.
So, is there an etiquette to flirting? Am I meant to say at the outset - “hey, I’m going to flirt with you but please don’t take this to mean I want you!” How much is too much? I’m just trying to figure out where I should reign it …
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Comments (23)
If you don't want people to think you're interested, learn to stop flirting. Simple as that.
I don't think about etiquette when it comes to flirting.
The first commenter got it right. I like to flirt as much as the next person but you are just teasing people. You're actually taking the piss out of them without knowing it. So stop.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog.
Well if the people you flirt with know you act like that around everyone, they should get the hint.
Then again, if a guy is a flirt, I just automatically cross him off my "boys I might possibly ever date" list. I just don't take their feelings for me seriously if they flirt with everything that looks like it has a vagina.
@The_Bodyguard@mancouch - i agree.
Either, at the first poster said, learn to stop flirting, or learn to turnhe these guys down when they ask you out.
DON'T FLIRT WITH OTHER WOMEN OR LET THEM FLIRT WITH YOU.
You know what's worse than being interested in a prude? Being interested in a flirt. They're like prudes in disguise. All you do is waste time and energy on them.
Anyways, you're flirting too much or too heavy. There is a difference. Flirting too much is saying nothing but flirty comments, while flirting heavy is taking the next step like physical contact. So cut back on that and you should be good.
Basically, if you show a guy that likes you any indication that you like him, you'll get one of three responses:
1) A response that makes sense. They think about the situation and are logical about it. These are also the guys that will understand if you tell them.
2) They will be totally oblivious. I guess you don't really have to worry about them.
3) If you give them any indication you like them (even if you don't mean it that way and it's just as simple as saying hi), they'll be really into you and angry if you say you don't like them like that. Personally, I feel these guys need to learn that not every innocent thing means a girl likes him, and not all flirting means that either.
So I guess my point is to not worry about it. You like to flirt, so do it. Anyone who has a logical response to it will understand. Hell, most guys like to flirt to (at least the ones I know). So why shouldn't girls be allowed to also?
i've never understood why someone would flirt with a person they aren't interested in, let alone a person they don't even think is attractive. seriously... why?
No theres not. I only flirt or flirt back with women i have an interest in, if theres no interest their lucky to get a glance. I dont flirt for days or several times before asking someone out, if im single and interested, its right on the spot, after the first convo. Sounds like your short on attention to be honest, if your flirting with people you dont even find attractive.
yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh you're supposed to ONLY flirt with someone you're interested in
it's how you show them you're interested
(with some exceptions)
I need to learn how to flirt first...
Hmm, I have had problems with this, except I didn't know I was flirting. I think you should limit one-on-one time or intense conversations. No physical contact at ALL would be preferable, or if you bump them or something, acknowledge it and say, Sorry, didn't mean to bump you. so they know it was definitely unintentional. Don't make comments about their physical appearance or give specific compliments that may be misconstrued as flattery.
I was a bit tipsy and started dancing with this big, tubby middle aged guy.. all that nasty grinding shit.
...I'll never do that again.
I don't flirt at ALL when I'm sober, it seems. How strange.
I like to flirt too. But I keep it cool, joke like, UNLESS I am actually interested. And I am careful (or try to be) to let them know it's a game. Like I will say after a slightly suggestive comment "ok, now seriously" and then have a platonic conversation with them. I make sure I don't flirt with someone every time I see them, just once in a while, unless we've both established that it's a "game". Like I had a coworker and I used to flirt a little, but we'd established early on that it was just a little fun between us, we set our boundaries.
I tend to flirt a great deal more when I am anxious, lonely or insecure. When I want a little attention, OR, actually to draw attention away from my inner unrest. I am good at flirting, so it brings me some male attention and makes me feel like I have a little power and skill. Like another commenter suggested, it is often , for me, a plea for attention. I have learned to stop and check what's going on inside me when I get very flirty.
I've been on the other side of this too, where someone very flirty was also very persistent, yet still didn't mean anything by it. OUCH! Even if I didn't really want to get with them, it was a blow to my ego, after thinking they had a little thing for me to find out they really didn't.
Not sure if there's an ettiquette to flirting, but I do think there is an ethic...the old golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
omg...i like that hey, i am going to flirt with you but that doesnt mean i want you!! I like to flirt as well..but when guy takes that seriously, i just put them off by saying are you serious,''Brother'', dont joke with me!
stop flirting then! this is a no-brainer, honestly. too many people think you're interested? take a step back. stop touching their arm. If the only kind of conversation you know how to have is a flirty one, you're boring.
heyyy Im a firm believer in Flirting doesnt mean you are interested!!!!! Because everyone flirts (without even trying) it just happens. Its when I purposely go out of my way to try and do something for that person, try to talk to them, etc thats when I like them. But flirting is just fun to me. And I dont take it as you are into me. I find flirting and special attention different things.
flirting is bs. you can do it if you want, but people will read in to it differently. that's something you have to deal with. regardless of what "you" think. There's more of them then you.
I don't flirt much. I only do it with people that I have at least some interest in. But if the person quickly become really into me, I'll be scared and run away. It happened to me once, and the person seemed angry.
I clicked this because the picture is too great :P
I've always been told I flirt with people, like my friends boyfriends etc... I don't do it intentionally, it's just who I am.
So don't feel bad about it. Keep flirting. It comes in handy when you meet someone you really do like.