I was thinking about relationships that exist on or come into existence because of the internet the other day. It seems to me that it is not uncommon for people of my generation to become close to, & even have romantic feelings for, people that they've never met. I've done it, you've done it, we're doing it right now, etc. Ever since I was maybe 12 or 13, I've been meeting and talking to people I probably never would have otherwise over the internet.
I think that's pretty cool. Online friends are awesome, as long as you're not making your online life your entire life. However, I'm not so sure that I feel the same way about online relationships.
I guess I just feel like before you dive into an online relationship & invest your emotions, time, & energy into it, you should find out if the spark is really there, in real life, when you're actually in the presence of one another. It's possible that two people who have a great connection (no pun intended :P) over the internet don't mesh at all in real life. At the same time, there's a possibility that the sparks that flew via the internet are also there when you meet in real life. I guess I'm just tentative, because of past experience to invest all that much in someone whom you only know through their words.
What do you think of online relationships? Have you had/do you have one? Share your experiences
Recommend
Comments (29)
I've made lots of real life friends through the internet. But never had a romantic relationship. Came close once, but the internet doesn't reveal everything about personality - the guy was ultra flaky. Not in the "forget to call" sense, but in the "whoops, sorry I didn't tell you, I actually went to NYC for a week," and we lived in Ohio. Kinda nutty. Oh well. I still consider him a friend so not all is lost :)
hahaha @ the Nsync title.
I think you'd need a looot of trust to be in a long-distance relationship, internet or not. If you have that trust, cool. If not, it probably won't work.
No on line relationships for me.
i agree with @TheRealMelanie@xanga - it's all about trust when it comes to online relationships. if it's just a friendship, it's no problem, you can become anyone's friend.
more just acquaintances for me id say... no real emotions or time investing for me
i haven't had an online relationship. i don't think i would want one, but props for the nsync reference.
I live with a man that I met on myspace. Enough said.
I met a guy on Facebook..I didn't know him very well (and to this day I still don't)..but we talked and sorta got to know each other. I found out he went to my school. Some reason, I was stupid enough to give my phone number to him. We texted and such..he liked me but I didn't. I wanted to give him a chance though..becuz he seemed like a good guy. So I did..we ended up going out for 3 days? Facebook/MSN is the reason we met..but also the reason we broke up. Isn't that interesting?
friendships but nothing romantic.
i'd consider it a bonus relationship. you know, just an add-on to your real life, like downloading the "extra boyfriend just in case you get lonely" app to your iphone. always good to have a fall-back.
When I was in college, I use to play Counter-Strike with some kid in another state. I kept in touch with him for 6 years even after we both quit the game.
I finally saw him and we had one conversation -- and then never talked to teach other ever again haha.
I've had girls who live on the other side of the world who end up getting crushes on me from just talking online. I can never really understand it. I don't see how anyone can fall in (love, lust, infatuation) with someone they've never seen in person before. I know lots of people do it...I just don't understand how it's possible.
I met my fiance online. We knew each other for years, and both were interesting in other people when we first started talking..I eventually got a new screen name, thought I gave it to him correctly (I still say I did - he just copy and pasted it wrong, he says it was all me
) and we didn't talk for like a year..Then one day (I don't even know why) I decided to sign on to my old account. That just happened to be the only day he was online that summer. His computer died and he was on a friend's. We got the screen name situation figured out, talked a ton online and then on the phone after that and eventually decided to meet in person. We knew we liked each other, we just wanted to be sure we felt the same way in person. So he drove 8 hours to come see me on my 19th birthday. We got along just as great in person as we did online. I have some health issues, so I couldn't travel that far to see him, but he still came out every month to see me. 
Once he graduated, he got a job in my state. Now he lives an hour from me. I see him once during the week and on weekends. He proposed to me on our two year anniversary. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have him.
I don't think it matters how you meet..as long as you actually meet in person so that you can know if yous get along and have a chance of making it in the long run.
QFT "...Online friends are awesome, as long as you're not making your online life your entire life..."
actually i think that online friends become even more awesome when your social life is... based on those relationships...
online friends > RL friends
real life people simply suck, their flaws arn't covered up and honestly i have no idea how any can stand them. they are:-emotionally retarded without defense, or perhaps apathetic.-have an immense adversity to reason and logic that doesn't comply with their own. therefore incapable of decent conversation; bigotry running deep.-irrational, blind, dogmatic self-dredging drudges disregarding their damned derelict duties. dictating personal heavens, dismissing reality, and the hells their heaven would require.
with internet people you can filter through otherwise distracting BS, block/ignore shallow pricks, and do a whole bunch more, all without severely hurting someone's feelings.
i admire that you can stand real life people. but still think that due to the filtering nature of the internet and larger number of valuable relationships can be acquired. also at least in personal experience, when hurt or let down it is to a lesser extent
I've done the online dating thing for about the past year. You'll always have bad experiences with any type of dating, whether it originated online, in the library, or at the bar....But at least with online, you can talk about things that are very central and important to another person without the distractions of flirting and physical attraction. Sometimes when you meet someone for the first time, face to face, you can get distracted by...well...their face. But again, every situation has its ups and down.
I can also say that I just got engaged to a wonderful man that I met via an online dating site about 3 months ago. He's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
If you do decide to dabble in online dating, be careful. Honestly, the best free site that I have seen is http://www.okcupid.com
Best of luck!
In one right now. And I'll be meeting her for the first time on Thursday. :D
I'm in one, we've met, it's amazing! <3
I suppose it's overall a good thing. My ex-best friend met the guy she's dating online. He came here to meet her, she flew there to see him...and then 6 months later, she decided to move there and not tell anyone.
it has its pros and cons
I met my boyfriend on Xanga. He came to see me last year, and soon I'm going to see him. It's going well.
so ima take this a little left field. ok so now after reading all of these coment and knowing that my gf has a history of falling for men on e-net i mean we have been togeather for two years and we meet of myspace, so am i wrong to to get little buterflys of jellousy in my tummy everytime she gets on the computer ... shes just making friends right ? thats all i do on here! and shes onehoundred precent faithfull to my knowledge and i have apalutly no reseon to belive otherwise... im not realy the insacure type but e-net daiting and love scares me .... she is the only girl i have ever met of the internet and she was freinds with my sisster for a long time b4 i met her .... i guess it stupid to let somthing so small bother me . but men have no respect online their not scared of boyfriends bc there too far away , and shy guys are no longer shy pussys become tuogh guys its all so difernt it is so much more scarry for me then the idia of her meeting somone else out on the streets like yeah ok theres not even any one else in mi i have to wory about , so y cant i feel that way about the e-net?
was the *NSYNC reference in the title intentional or accidental? LOL just curious, because I immediately thought of the song they had on their No Strings Attached album...
I'm not against online relationships, but I think they can get really complicated. I had the biggest crush on a guy that was an online friend just recently. We were best friends and super close, but once he started flirting with other girls I freaked out. That's because the internet makes it way too easy to stalk people. I do it. I admit it. I'll search through his recent posts on a site and see who he's talking to and flirting with. I'll compare how much he mentions me to how much he mentions other girls. And I was devastated to see he had taken me off of his friendslist after a "fight" we had. It's too much. Romance needs a little bit of mystery.
And I'm a sucker for human interaction. I feel like I'm much easier to get a long with and much much much less jealous in a real life situation. It's inevitable for our generation to indulge in these types of relationships, but as for me I'd rather meet a guy the old fashioned way. And talk face to face!
it works...i met my boyfriend for more than 2 years now in one of the online chat room. fortunately, we get along together and really love each other.
guilty of a couple of them, didn't go so well. maybe that's a good thing. i have some online friends that became RL friends though. i love them haha. i miss hanging out with them anyway. it's a different friend spectrum you know? they kind of understand you differently and sometimes almost better than those friends you've meet else where. i was sort of in one right right now, but because of the way things are playing out right now, i'm pretty sure we're back to the just friends level. whatever he's fine with, i'm fine with. i guess i need to back off =x. haha the idea is pretty silly to most people anyway. i wanted to believe in it, but oh well maybe it was just me being thinking too much of our friendship.=o