Sunday, 07 March 2010
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WYD Someone Who Has Been Divorced?
I was watching this show on television the other day about this man who's talking about dating again after his divorce is finalized. This got me thinking on whether or not I would date someone who is divorced.
My answer would have to be yes and no.
Yes because if I really care about this person, I don't see why it wouldn't hurt to do it. You always want to be honest with yourself and encourage them to do the same thing. If I see character flaws that I'm not comfortable with, I would let her know REAL quick. Also, I ask myself is this part of her behavior or is it her transition into being a single person. I would say no because if their ex is some crazy person(like a girl who stabs her ex-husband lol), then I would turn her down before it got too deep. Basically, if she's divorced for the wrong reasons(that's your discretion), I would run for the hills!!!
Would you date someone who's divorced? Why or why not?
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- From: josifus77@xanga
- Name: josifus77
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- About Me: Whats up Xanga?!? Im a 28 year old Christian that's engaged to the love of my life. I'm here to discuss real things and meet new people.
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Comments (20)
if i were older, maybe. it would kind of depend on why he was divorced (ie was his wife a raging alcoholic, or was he having affairs? the latter would probably be a deal breaker) and if he was still carrying baggage (ie calling his ex-wife, constantly talking about/to her, or even just refusing to get over it).
I would if it was the girl in the picture. Seriously though, would anyone REALLY not date someone who could be Mr and Mrs (ha) Right just because they're divorced?
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Well... I've dated people who were divorced and it went okay... as you said, the reason why they are divorced is a big factor in what you do.
That leads to my situation... I married someone who had been divorced.. and guess what, I should have known there would be problems... he now has been divorced twice. He's not datable by anyone in my opinion...
I've been divorced because of it... but it wasn't really any relationship related flaw of mine that lead to the divorce so... there are two sides. Yes and No, depending on why they were divorced.... is a good answer.
I'd have no problem with it if I was older. Someone being divorced by age 20 or 22 would kind of show they may not be the best decision maker. Another factor that may be a deal breaker is if they have kids. Now, I love kids, but I feel like living up to be someone's step parent can be extremely challenging and I'd be afraid of being "that" step parent for whatever reason.
Right now, no. I'm 18, and frankly, if someone's already been married and divorced... I couldn't handle that. =p I'm not ready for that world yet.
Were I older, I imagine I'd be more open to it, and how far my relationship with the divorced went would depend on the reason for the divorce.
I agree with the general consensus that it really depends on the age of the divorced person and what their reasons were for getting divorced. I would be incredibly hesitant -- if not outright unwilling -- to date anyone around my age (24) who has already been married and divorced. Like @Jamie_Nip@xanga said, they're probably not the best decision makers. I would even go so far to assume they're probably also impulsive, immature and not able to handle commitment yet.
if I was older, but i prefer not to be with a divorced person. i wish to marry someone who has never been married.
Why the hell not? Failed marriages aren't uncommon. It's very likely that that's what is going to happen anyway.
@Jamie_Nip@xanga - both good points.
well, im coming from the other perspective. I am someone who is divorced. I was divorced at 28 yrs of age. I was only married for 2 yrs to someone that was not right for me. Shortly after my divorce i met a wonderful man who decided to take a chance on me. I explained to him the reason for the divorce... and i did not make it seem that it was all one sided. I admitted my faults in the marriage as well and he was willing to take a chance ona divorced woman.
Now... i agree with most of the comments where ppl stated that if/when they are older their thoughts on the matter would change. My BF is older than me by 7 yrs and he has never been married.
Divorced ppl are not damaged ppl that others should be afraid of. We are just ppl who made mistakes and were smart enough to right them before it is too late. We need love too.
with my age, i could not. i am only 17 !
It depends on how long it's been over, and what she's been up to since. If someone's been divorced, that's a very strong indication that they rush to make rash decisions. (S)he had to to commit to that other person in the first place. What are the odds this person is a stronger better decision maker now? If a selfish person could have her by acting like a prince, or if she can't wait through an interpersonal vetting process, then how can I feel good about her wanting me?
Nope.
I've said it once and I'll say it again:
Divorce is just a higher form of a break-up; especially, with divorce being so common in America.
Would you date someone who has had a break-up before? The answer to this question is usually 'yes'. Obviously, each divorced person is an individual case-by-case basis too.
i dated a guy who was divorced and it was very difficult to just overcome the issues of that relationship because his ex-wife still was in his life causing problems and it made it difficult to even do anything, so in the future i wouldn't do it unless the ex was nonexistent.
Don't see why not. It's more of a person thing rather than a divorce thing. If the person is cool then does them being divorced really make much of a difference? If the person is crazy does being divorced change anything? Either way the person is either cool or crazy and you would have to deal with it whether they were divorced or this was their first relationship ever.
Totally depends on the ex-wife situation. And how long they've been separated, age, etc. But yeah, I'm not really down with that much baggage, crazy ex-girlfriends are bad enough, let alone crazy ex-wife and possible child support and court issues. Too much drama and baggage for me.
Obviously, there are exceptions.
Thanks for all the comments everyone. It's nice to know we can have a civil discussion on this issue.
i will not, at least not now
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i'm 19. my 23 year old boyfriend was married and is now divorced. our relationship is everything i could ever ask for, and more. i plan on marrying him someday.