Friday, 05 March 2010
-
The Overcompetitive Flirt
I don't know what these girls are called, whether they are boyfriend-stealers, frenemies, coquettes, or teases. But there always seems to be one wherever you go. I'm sure there's a male version of this species, too. But for now let's delve into the world of girls.
I'm talking about the so-called friend that seems to be competing with you (and everyone else) in the dating realm. A typical scenario would start like this.You: Hey, what do you think about *insert common guy's name, let's use Tom for now*? He's kind of cute.
The coquette has two options. Either to approvingly support your choice in men with enthusiasm or persuade you otherwise with disdain. Either way it ends the same.Coquette A: Tom? I love Tom! You think he's hot? Go for it! Do you want me to put in a good word for you?
Coquette B: Tom? Absolutely not, he's a manwhore and I care about you too much to be tumbling around with him.
Whether you get a confidence boost from the first or get disappointed from the latter, you don't have much time to dwell in the aftermath when BAM. She starts chatting Tom up, grazing his chest and his arm is around her and then they leave together. What?
It may have not happened to everyone, but such cases happen enough times to go unnoticed. This sad excuse of a friend has the desire to monopolize the dating/hooking up scene. A friend's attraction to a male will compel her to make a move on the interest, just to see if she can and so that all attention remains on her. It may be because of her insecurities, her need to control attention and maybe even the craving for affection. Many different versions of these girls exist, but we just can't seem to get rid of them.
Do you know anyone like this? And has this scenario ever happened to you?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: starbecks
- About Me: Traveling, writing, and laughing are my favorite things! Currently a student in NYC.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 58 Views: 0 143031 Comments: 0 2053 View all posts by starbecks
Comments (29)
One of my good friends in high school was like this.
I eventually just stopped talking to her about guys since she'd always make moves on them.
I don't really talk to her much in general, anymore.
She was a very self centered person, male interests aside.
i had one i introduced to the guy i liked, and then she started going after him. I confronted her too, she told me not to start drama. Im like excuse me? I think ur the one who started it. And so on so forth... n then ive had some that whenever u liked someone, all the sudden they would have interest in them too, and go after them,before u did. Because you are too shy and dont make the move, I always wait for the "right" time and usually dont tell a guy i like them, fear of rejection i suppose. But yupp, in all my cases, the nice girl finishes last. ....Sigh...
when i do get a guy tho, I know not to introduce them to any friends or good looking family members that might go after them :/ Yea thats my insecurity. I dont trust any chick!!! Cuz ive had friends and family backstab me :(
happened to me decades ago when I was in High school and then later on in college. I hope to God girls grow up and grows out of that over competitive stage!
I've never had a friend like that, thankfully. I guess it's because I'm not interested in befriending self-centered whores. Easy enough.
I had a friend like this once, she ended up sleeping with two of my friends boyfriends, then dating/sleeping with four other of my friends exes. Not even mentioning the amount of times she decided to hook up with a guy any of us were interested in. But it's ok now, everybody thinks she is a slut and won't go near it.
Moral of this story kids: So you may have one of these friends, and you may resent her for it, but at the end of the day, they guys aren't worth it or it just wasn't meant to be, and, when she's milked your town dry, you'll get your man, and he wouldn't touch her with a 12 inch barge pole :)
KARMA WORKS.
There was a barmaid at the pub I used to manage at who was like this when I had a SO. One of my biggest regrets is not going along with it as a/ she looked filthy and b/ i split up with my SO a month after leaving the job.
Check out my dating blog: http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
I have a friend like this and this stuff happens to me aaaaaaaaaall the time! :O I'm really sick of it and I don't have a clue how I prevent it from happening...no matter what though she gets the guys I like one way or the other
I have a friend like this and this stuff happens to me aaaaaaaaaall the time! :O I'm really sick of it and I don't have a clue how I prevent it from happening...no matter what though she gets the guys I like one way or the other
I've never known anyone like that and if I ever run into a woman that acts that way, I know how to stop hanging out with her.
yea never trust the girl that says "let me talk to you for him" cuz then shell be like "is it ok that he likes me and i like him back" my ex best friend was notorious for that
any guy that goes after that type of girl, has done you a favor. now you know what kinda guy he is... you can usually tell by the type of girls he goes with.
Women become competitive over a man at one time or another.
Yep. She's become the friend I go to the mall with. I don't introduce her to any guys I like or date. She'll start flirting with them, wearing the sluttiest clothes she can find. She's the girl that I direct guys to when they ask if I have any single friends..Except I warn them about what will happen when they dump her. She likes to tell everyone she's pregnant with the guy's kid, hoping that he'll take her back. Than when she's supposed to start showing, she claims that she lost the 'baby' somehow.
Yup I know one of them. They aren't exactly the brightest, but they have the body. So in any case, whether it be against my feelings or not, she goes all out for it. And 4 out of 5 times, she gets what she wants despite whether it hurts me or not. Needless to say I don't associate myself with her hardly anymore. People like that need to learn that things like that hurt others and it's really not ok.
We have the extreme version of this person at work. She flirts with all the men, even though she's not interested, just to keep them away from the other women. Funny part is that none of men at work are really worth the bother anyway.
i had a roommate in college who i became really close friends with over the years but when i first met her, i thought she was such a flirt and slore (my short term for slut-whore) because every single party we went to, she would always be making out with someone or bringing someone back to the dorm room. she never had sex with them but it seemed like it. it just made an impression on her that didn't stick well. a lot of people thought she was just a slore but she really wasn't. we still are friends but it's only because i tolerate it and she's not like that anymore.
Sounds a bit childish..
If I see a girl trying to do this to one of her friends. Instant turnoff. I walk the other way. I don't want drama.
You forgot about the friends who talk bad about you RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU to other people to make you look bad, and them look much better. Don't forget about her! They tend to do it to guys that you like, or that like you, to embarass you. Stupid bitches...
one of my friends got pregnant, and had a kid (and couldn't get any guys attention anymore.) me and my boyfriend wanted to be supportive while she was adjusting to having a kid...and instead, she tells me ON MY BIRTHDAY how she's sorry she flirts with my boyfriend so much and she hopes i'm not offended, blah blah. that's when i realized she wasn't really happy for my support, but for my boyfriend's attention. T_T
needless to say, we don't see her much anymore!
those girls are crazy
oh mannn i've had that!
it's crazy, i didn't get mad at her for going out w/ a guy that i had liked cause i just love her too muchbut when i introduced her to the guy i like now and she was all flirtatious i told her to back off! i also told her straight up i don't trust her around guys.She is actually doing a good job now and staying away from him.so if ur worried u should definitely talk to your friend about it.I'm sure she doesn't even realize she does it.ÂMy roommate is this way. If there's a guy who I point out in the bar that's attractive, give her an hour and she'll find her way over there to chat with him and get his number. It hit the worst when I told her there was a new guy at our work who was cute and was gonna come out with us one night. She hadn't ever said anything about him being attractive until that night when she completely overtook the conversation with him and pushed me completely out. She ended up sleeping with him and felt the need to tell me all about it. Awesome.
She's done it to my ex-boyfriends too. And my current crush? Yep - the first night we met, I left to go to the bathroom and apparently (he told me later) she came up to him and started flirting shamelessly and running her mouth about me.
Needless to say - I keep my mouth shut when i'm around her. The last thing I need is her trying to steal another guy. Thank goodness I'm moving away soon!
I have a friend like this. She has a boyfriend but she acts like this all the time. Anytime her boyfriend isn't around, she's grinding on other guys. Her ego is huge. She's always saying things like, "Oh, yeah, so and so was hitting on me," and "Not even gonna lie; I DEFINITELY felt something when we were dancing."
Get over yourself.
I saw the name of this post and was like, "YES!" Because I have encountered a plethora of girls like this in my life.I think I attract them as friends because I am pretty, sweet, very quiet--esp. with guys I am interested in, and don't have much of game outside of being myself, and am easily out shone, but because of my looks I still seem worthy of competition.
I think a lot girls can be that way in certain situations (like my sister lol) but then there are the girls that are ALWAYS this way. My best friend who I went to college with was this girl. It had bothered me all through high school, she completely stole a guy that I had been talking to and literally forged a 100% usual "freindship" with him for a year that consequently ended our dates. I didn't care about it because I didn't like him all that much, I was still hung up on my ex, but I mostly just couldn't believe that my friend had done that to me. This was rather disconcerting because it was spring of our senior year and we were headed to a pretty small college that fall--as roommates.
When we got to school her brand of flirting got her a really bad (and unwarranted) reputation within a few days, while I literally had a hundred guys I barely knew friending me on facebook and chatting me up. But then there was another guy I was talking to that she also started trying to pull her crap on. It was sweet vengeance when he never went for her, but only stopped talking to me once I officially rejected him.
A week into school I met my now-fiance and a month into school we were dating. He could hardly stand my friend which was a good test for him to pass.
Basically I have learned over the years that it stems from insecurity and jealousy and it makes her feel better not just to have a million conquests to rub in my face that a guy I liked picked her over me. it has hurt my feelings many times when she purposely talked down to me like I was a weak little girly-girl diva-and she was some super woman, low maintenance guys girl. But over time I figured out that she isn't a catch, she is my friend but she isn't a catch, in fact most guys should really run for the hills, and if a guy wants to be with her it will be my laugh later. Now I am happy, but she still feels the need to report back any negative feedback she gets on me from guys. "I know guys who think you are really prissy!" (that really made me laugh considering the guys who thought that she had told I was prissy, when she is the super high maintenance one). Or "my guy coworker said your lips were huge"--yeah, a guy I never met looking at my picture. First off, i wish I had full lips, but it isn't a real blessing, plus I have a feeling he meant it nicely but you twist it into an insult, and your lips are way bigger (and consequently prettier) than mine!
Wow...I didn't realize how bitter I was. lol