Tonight, I was with a group of friends and we watched the movie "Definitely, Maybe". In it there is one romantic interest who seems to move on after her efforts to initiate a romantic relationship with the main character go haywire. Yet (I don't mean to spoil the film for those that haven't seen it -- it's great so you should) at the end she is ready to welcome him back and love him though it's been years. Like 10 or something.
It's not that I doubt her affection for him. Granted I think her love for him would obviously change and transform into something different than its original form because of the length of time, but what keeps nagging at me is how it is evident that part of her is waiting for him. Or at least that is how it appeared to me.
The phenomenon of waiting for someone has been popping up in my mind often.
I tend to see a lot of it most recently. I also just saw "The Lake House" which is all about waiting for the right timing for a romantic relationship. In this story the two lovers, for many reasons, have to wait a long amount of years before they can ever be together. At one point it seems as if the heroine gives up and decides to move on. However, it's at the end (sorry to be a spoiler once again) when he's in danger does she step in, recognize that she does love him, and tells him so, but that she is willing to wait once again.
I guess the thing that sticks out to me most of all in these two examples is the idea that someone can say that they are "moving on", yet somewhere in the back of their mind, if something ends up threatening the former lover or that person comes back into their lives with a desire to try again. Basically, the idea of "moving on" is a false conception. Or is it really? I'm very confused about this because I don't like to subscribe to "moving on". Like in The Lake House, I see moving on as ignoring one's true feelings. I see it as a form of escapism. I'm not saying that if you're desperately in love with someone who is woefully wrong for you you should pursue it or dwell in it. I think of moving on as a phase of acceptance of your feelings and a decision to engage in something new.
But I digress. Going back to the original idea of waiting, what if you don't wait and you miss exactly who you want/what you need? But what if you end up waiting too long, you could miss out on so many opportunities and many possible relationships. However, on the other end of the spectrum, I thus ask is it really possible to "move on" (in either my definition or the more socially accepted one)? Are you always waiting?
I guess I ask these questions because I'm afraid of not waiting. I'm afraid of letting go, that moving on will somehow allow my feelings to die. At the same time, I feel like if I don't wait, I'm betraying my faith and my hope; I feel like I'm betraying myself and what I stand for in a way. Or perhaps that is just a cop out? Does the concept of waiting have a connection with the amount of loyalty you feel towards a certain person? In the end though I find myself wondering if you cannot help but allow a little part of yourself to always wait.