Songs are a powerful memory inducer. Good or bad, a song will bring you back to your first kiss, first boyfriend/girlfriend, the first time you had sex, the first time you said I love you and even the first time you had your heart broken. Every couple has a song. Regardless if you know it or not. There will always be at least one song that reminds you of your other half.
A few weeks ago, my friend J had asked me what he should do for his GF's birthday. (we'll call her Sam in this post) He was already taking her on a trip as her birthday gift but wanted to do something special with everyone around. Since Sam loves karaoke, I suggested going to a karaoke lounge and that J should sing a song to her. He loved the idea and so the other night, we all went out to karaoke for Sam's birthday. Now this was one of those places where you sing out in the open and not one where you go to a private room. When his name got called, he's bouncing up in front of the crowd all hyped up and proud. He clearly said and points to Sam "This song is our song and I'm dedicating it to you baby." As the music starts up, everyone in our group had a look of horror on our faces. It was the WRONG SONG to the WRONG GIRL!
You see, the song he ended up picking was "I'll make love to you" by Boyz II Men which was his song with his EX. A little back story: his ex screwed him up so badly that J once upon a time thought about becoming celibate and thought he would die alone and loveless. Sure, he had loved his ex but their relationship was a chemical waste dump. It was as unhealthy as any relationship can be. During his messed up fetal position days, Sam was there to hold him up and gave him support. Sam was the one who changed his mind about love again. Sam's song was "So much in love" by All-4-One which is what I thought he chose.
As he started to sing, I quickly scanned around to see what I could throw at him to get his attention. I didn't want to throw my iphone because let's face it, it's too pricey to replace. I thought about taking off my shoes and throwing that. But since I was wearing 4" heels, I might cause some major problem for him if it causes permanent damage, like taking out his eye. We all tried to signal with our hands to cease-and-desist but he thought we were being asses and that prompted him to sing even louder. So it was the longest, most awkward 5 minutes of my life while we watch Sam's face. Crestfallen and embarrassed. She knew it was his song with his ex.
When the song was finally done, he came back only to find his GF crying and rushing off to the bathroom. I can see he's genuinely confused and asked us what happened. So we told him. He realizes what a moron he was and thinks it's an honest mistake. I told him "buddy, that's equivalent to you saying *bleeps* name while you're having sex with Sam..." He then tells me I have to go and tell Sam the song was my idea and that I should take one for the team. Uhm, excuse me? I said to sing a song for her, NOT a song that reminds everyone of your EX you dumb ass!
So apparently my friend is still peeved with me because his gf is peeved at him. Should I just suck it up and take one for the so-call team even though it really wasn't my fault?
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Comments (28)
Well it isn't your fault for putting in a suggestion and it wasn't your fault that he messed up what was potentially a sweet song dedication. He should be the one to man up and admit that he made a mistake.
no you shouldn't....i mean that might sound mean, but that was his mistake, and he needs to show his gf how sorry he is. By the By....wouldn't his gf just turn around and say "even if she sugested that song, why would you sing it? You knew it was the same song you sang to your ex" even if you take one for the team, it wouldn't change anything
He should be the one that admits he's wrong....but with enough begging and pleading, I'd probably cave in and say I (as the friend) got the songs mixed up.
I believe songs can be shifted to a new lover anyway. it's possible...hard to do, but possible.
It won't really make the girlfriend feel better, because HE will still be the one that chose the wrong song. However, I would probably tell her it was my idea anyway, not because he wanted me to but because I would want to do the right thing. Except I would tell her that yes, it was my idea, but that I didn't know he would choose the worst possible song, and that he's an idiot although he was trying to do something nice, and you're sorry it ended up the way it did. It's not to apologize as though you made a mistake or anything, he's still got to do that himself, but it could help in the sense that she will feel that someone else understands.
In no way should you take the blame. He needs to grow a set and man up.
Agree with the last commenter.
This post cracked me up.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
yeah...as the others have said, i don't think you should lie, and i don't think it would make any difference even if you did. he needs to come up with a third "i'm sorry" song and sing it to her and bake her cookies.
at least, if i were in that situation, that would get me to forgive him, haha.
Oh gawd, I would be really upset if I was his gf too. Poor girl, and on her birthday too...damn. Songs are very big memory inducers. Do NOT take the blame for your friend's idiocy. Yes, you can say it was your idea to do Karaoke, but it was not your idea for him to sing that particular song. That was HIS mistake. I agree with what others are saying, he needs to MAN UP.
Well I'm personally really against ever taking the blame for something you didn't do, and this situation is certainly no exception. I wouldn't worry too much. He'll probably get over it soon enough and realize how stupid he's being. He's acting like he's mad at you to cover up for the fact that he's really mad at himself.
Let Sam be mad at him! There is NO reason you should have to take one for the Ftarding team. Frankly I'm surprised that he didn't remember that it was his ex's song. If (as any of us that have ever been heart broken to the point of....being committed to an insane asylum) he was THAT bad about his ex...the dumbass should have remembered it was HER song.
wow... this is a really suck situation for that guy... what an idiot!?! i think it would have been better had he moaned the wrong girls name... this i think is much much worse.
Okay, this is not your fault. You had a great suggestion and he went and decided to do something stupid. It was a sweet idea, but he completely forgot who he was dealing with. Which, to me, shows that he wasn't over his ex. But that's a whole different story anyway. Lol. Long story short -- You shouldn't feel bad. You tried and he messed up. If him being mad at you upsets you that much, however, you should go and talk to Sam and see what's up (that is, if she's even talking to him). Cause some guys (not all) are prone to pointing the finger at somebody else to get them out of the doghouse. Hopefully things look up soon! :D
Uh, he needs to man up and take responsibility for his actions. What an asshat.
His fault. Tell him to grow a pair.
what an idiot, thats was just plain stupid, im surprised he didnt catch that but all of you did. Dont take one for the team its not even that big of a deal, itll blow over.
like what everyone else said.. he should man up and admit that he was wrong
Note to self: be thankful that you never had to dedicate hits to a girlfriend. And just so you don't do this again, don't ever set foot into a karaoke bar.
I agree with everyone in the fact that he needs to own up to his own mistakes.
I, however, disagree with the magnitude of his mistake that you seemed to have placed. Knowing someone's song is not on the same level as screaming someone else's name in bed. Both of the songs were by Boyz II Men, so I can see how he could have genuinely screwed it up. I think his attempt at blaming you was douche-y, but to me, his attempted actions at wooing his girlfriend were genuine.
Hell, sometimes, I don't even remember when my anniversary is with my boyfriend at times.
He made a major mistake! You should not have to apologize for anything...have you thought about the repercussions of what your "apology" could do to your relationship with her? BTW, I agree with your analogy of the ex's karaoke song being the equivalent of saying the ex's name during sex.
Oh god. Fail... It's not your fault. It's his own. SPECIALLY if all your friends knew it too.
this is so odd .... because my ex's name starts with a J .. the girl he is currently "with" is a Sam .. and she loves karaoke .. and her birthday JUST passed ..
Instead of worrying about the consequences for you or for J, why don't you worry about the consequences for the only person who really got hurt in this situation, which was Sam. If you think that she would feel less hurt if she thought it was your song choice and not his, then you would be a good friend to try to minimize her grief by pretending it was your song choice. I don't really see how she could get that angry at you since you wouldn't have known it was his exes song? Even if she is mad at you that's something you can deal with so it doesn't hurt their relationship? Not gonna lie I don't think she's going to beleive you anyway...
i tihnk he should man up, grow a pair of balls, call her out for a nice dinner apologize and tell her it was a mistake and that he didnt think twice about the song. i wouldn't bother taking one for him even if your friends because he's her bf he should be figuring things out himself. you already provided a good idea you cant expect more.
oh thank god i cant sing LOL!
men. *snort*
it's nobody's fault. i'm sure his ex had a really big impact on his life, and it's natural that the last vestiges of that relationship will need time to fade away. it was just a brain fart, from the sound of it.Â
you know, if he spins it right i think he might still have a chance. i'm sure his heart was in the right place, even if his head wasn't lol :P he should apologize (it better be a good one) that he hurt her feelings, but so what if that was his song with his Ex? it's a good song and if that's what he really meant to say to her the old ties don't matter. leave the past in the past and move forward, neh? he just needs to tell her he sang it for her because that's what was in his heart. it's not about his ex--the whole point was that he was trying to express his love for HER and no one else.
as a friend, you could tell her this, especially if she doesn't want to see him, but don't lie to Sam for him.