According to several guys I've talked to, I'm too boring. The reason for this is I really don't have anywhere to go. I don't like movie theaters much. I always end up having to use the bathroom in the middle of the movie, than forget where I'm sitting & get lost on the way back to my seat. I live in a tiny little town in Ohio. I'm surrounded by cornfields, bars & a couple of restaurants & McDonalds across the street. Most weekends I'm either at home doing homework or at the mall that's about 20 minutes away. During the week I go to school for 3 days & I sleep & do homework. I don't have a job because I can't find anywhere that's hiring, though I'm still going to turn in job apps. Most of my friends are guys, and they pretty much only talk to me because they think that I'll end up going crazy & sleeping with them. The 2 or 3 girls I hang out with are the people I go to the mall with.
I don't try to be boring, I swear. I'm just one of those people that are content with sitting at on the couch, cuddling & watching a movie.
I'm not even in school for anything that interesting. I'm majoring in Photography, and that's more like a hobby than anything. I'm not interested in anything that much. Not to the point that I want to spend my whole life doing it anyway. I get bored too easily with stuff. The exciting thing I'm doing is getting a tattoo covered up. Hell, I get excited about going to the store now because it means I get to look at something other than my bedroom walls or the walls of my college. When a guy asks what my favorite movie is, my answer's usually 'I don't have one'. I don't have a favorite band or movie. I don't really have a favorite sports team. I get that I'm boring, but I don't know what to do to make myself not boring. I've tried to get interested in different things, I just can't.
I've talked to about 10 guys in the past 2 months, and most of them stop talking to me because I'm too boring for them.
Anybody else have this problem? How the hell do I fix it?
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Comments (106)
So you might not have a favorite movie, but have you ever once enjoyed a movie? Just mention it briefly.. They don't really want to know your all time favorite or anything.. just something you recently enjoyed.. whether or not it's a movie.. an activity you picked up.
I'm boring in a sense that I can hardly carry on a conversation. All you have to do, fortunately, is try and relate to that certain person.. and chip in whatever piece of knowledge or fact you've got about what they're talking about. You'll be surprised, and realize how most people are actually pretty boring themselves.. they just know how to talk about senseless things.
Wait for the right person :)
Talk to me ;) Lol but no seriously. Being boring isn't that bad...you're talking to the wrong crowd of guys.
I noticed they all want sex.
Not good lol. Try and acquaint yourself with new people. It might get lonely, but you shouldn't be getting asked for sex every time you talk to a male friend. That's not how it works.
Best of luck! We're not so different. I'm a homebody, as well.
I've never had any guys tell me that I'm boring but I DO get a hunch that they think I'm boring. Maybe I have low self esteem but I don't care what they think. If a guy likes you, he'll like you for you. You are an individual, everyone has their own thing they want to do and that's what makes everyone different and unique.
I can seriously relate to you though. I also like to just stay at home and chill and when people ask what I like to do, I just reply and say "I don't know." But seriously, I'm sure you have something you like to do. Staying at home and cuddling/ watching a movie is something and that's what you do so keep doing what your doing. Or you can always try new different things even though you don't want to. That's what I end up doing and by the end of the day, I'm glad I did it. Who knows, maybe biking or going to a museum can be something that you can give a try. Just know there are ton of stuff you can try =)
You sound like a person who is easily made happy by routine and the simple, reliable things in life. That's not a bad trait; you just need to find someone who will appreciate it.
I think you ought to look into expanding your interests; not necessarily to attract a guy, but to make your own life more enjoyable. Once you're involved in more activities/causes/whatever and having more fun, things will fall into place on the dating front as well.
Happy people are attractive. Truth.
but are you happy or unhappy with your current lifestyle? you say you think you're boring, but it sounds like you are basing that on other people's perceptions. if you are perfectly happy staying in every night and watching movies, more power to you! you'll find someone else who likes doing the same thing.
if, however, you are unhappy, you may want to try some hobbies. there's also a chance you may be depressed if you used to enjoy doing things and now you don't. if you're unhappy with the amount of activity you're doing now, you can always change it!
The best way to make up for being boring is to be sweet and charming, treating people in a way that makes them feel good about themselves yet also flattered that such a smokin babe would talk to them. I'm dreadfully boring in a different way, in that I'm not very opinionated on many issues, so having any sort of debate with me is awful. Plus I look really generic in every way possible, but changing my appearance would feel phony. My friends force me to wear a hat because I lack distinctive mannerisms and this way I can be the girl with the hat. But I listen to their troubles, I can usually make them laugh and I'm not afraid of trying new things so they keep me around.
Aha, I have been there! Search your brain, find all good qualities about yourself, and flaunt it. That stuff that you don't say out loud because you think it's only funny to you? Say it!
The thing is, no person can be that boring, but every person has bits and pieces of their personalities that they hide even when they don't realize it. Just be you, all that you are, all the time, and throw in a bit of unpredictability every now and then.
The right guy will find you when he finds you. It just takes time.
@Kneehola_elbowadios@xanga Hey, I used to be a "girl with the hat" myself! Until I realized it didn't work so well since I was already "that short chick". Good points though, that comment just brought back some memories for me lol.
eh, you're just boring to certain people I guess. Being interesting doesn't mean going out to interesting places. I literally don't go out anymore because of school yet I still always have something to talk about. And when it comes to guys and dating, I think what makes conversations run dry quickly is the fact that we always tend to put so much focus on the small talk and questions such as What's your favorite movie, favorite color, you know, things that don't really matter. I believe that questions like that can lead to interesting conversation but it won't if those small, petty aspects aren't important to the individual.
So my advice to you, thwart the small talk. People are perceived as boring when they either, have nothing to say more than small talk, or can't uphold small talk.
I too am boring. Just wait for another boring person.
It seems like you are talking about more than just being single, cause being boring is definitely something that deters guys away, but it seems you are having trouble having friends. You need help finding a community that share the same interest as you. You say you do photography as a hobby, which means you enjoy it. Talk to people in your classes, join photography clubs, there is bound to be people you can get along with, maybe even guys you could date. I hate to say this, but you do need to get out and work for finding a relationship. Normally people can date easily because they are out, they meet people, they are interesting, they have a life. They don't have to do anything to meet people that they can friend. The more boring you are, the less opportunities there are for dating. Look at yourself, do you want to date someone that is like yourself. You'll probably want to date other people that are interesting to you that makes you laugh, that you are comfortable with and happy. Don't change yourself, but you do got to do things that makes you seem interesting. I don't know what else you like doing, but photography is a start.
Ohhh it's not your fault at all!
Don't worry, I know what you mean, and I'm guilty of dropping girls because they're quote on quote "Boring". You just have to find someone you connect with, and all those troubles go away.No worries mam, when you find him you'll read this post and laugh.
I have the same problem. I am content with the simplest things in life. Sleeping the whole day can make my day. But even though I am content with the simple things doesn't mean you can't carry a conversation with people. I have carried conversations with people even though I have been told I am boring. In stead of saying I don't have a favorite movie, say things I like too many movies to pick one out. Make those things sound better. (from what I learned at least)
@BlehhItsTu@xanga - you're not boring and YOU CAN carry a convo we did...
@chanchina@xanga - Online is different! Here we can freely type.. delete and edit our words.. take our time. Plus, we were discussing about significantly serious things .. that of course, is far from boring.
@BlehhItsTu@xanga - Learn to improve using this skill. Hell I sure have. I don't think you're boring just stop looking down on yourself.
you're not boring, you're just a homebody.. and you just gotta find a guy that's the same.. it's not your fault at all lol
i like staying home a lot too but on occasion i have a girl's night out to a club or something.. i'm not always in the mood to go out but i do anyway and i always have fun
I dont have a girlfriend, probably because I don't get out much and don't like most things the people may age like doing Like clubbing, drinking and don't have a mobile phone.
I am not one of the best person for communication also (I dont think my disability is limiting my choice for dating as it very hard to explain without being negative.)
I know the right person will come along at the right time.
For me the person personalities and their morals are more important,
I don't think you sound boring at all. I think Photography is fascinating and requires skill and a unique way of seeing the world that many people do not posess. Just because you don't have favorites or particular lifelong ambitions/passions doesn't make you boring, it just means you haven't discovered them yet. You like everyday things, and there's something beautiful in enjoying the simple things everyday life brings. You're not single because you're boring, you're single because you haven't found someone who can relate to you or share your interests. Such people exist; they just might be as rare as you are.
find someone more boring than you
Maybe your problem is not that you're boring. But that you have a self-esteem problem about being boring.
Just stop thinking you're boring and love the things you do. You like photography, that's interesting. Once you embrace who you are and put your all into what you're doing and just have fun with life, you start to be comfortable with and love who you are. And that kind of self-conviction is appealing to others, and they'll love you too. For exactly who you are, no changes necessary.
Oh god, you nailed the kind of person I am to a T. I'm not the relationship type though, but I'm definitely the sitting-your-ass-in-front-of-the-computer-and-doing-nothing-type.
You're just hanging out with the wrong people.
To some people, I'm a weird, basement-dweller who laughed at 2girls1cup and that's a key sign to "don't be friends with this freak". Find other weird people. Weird isn't a bad thing. I for one, think that you seem like the kind of person I would LOVE to hang out with.
The people I knew were the kind to throw birthday parties by inviting everyone they knew and we all just sat down and watched Pokémon while eating carrot cake. To many, that sounds lame, but I thought it was EPIC. I don't have a favorite band because every band has a few shitty songs, same with movies and their shitty parts.
The worst thing you could do is to change yourself into someone you aren't for someone else. Weirdos attract each other like magnets. I have no idea how, but it happens. Maybe geeks secrete this weird "I'm a loser" pheromone or something...lulz
One day, you'll probably find and meet a few people who are just as "boring" as you, and you all could go out and do "boring" things together.
No I don't have this kind of problem, but well, is who you're describing the person you want to be though? Or are you looking to fix 'your problem' because you want to be attached?
Maybe just as you haven't found the right guy, you haven't found the right girl in you yet. Find yourself and something to be passionate about. You're doing photography in school, but to you it's also like a hobby? Keep exploring it, I think that's something interesting.
It's important because finding your interests and being active in them because that adds to your own personal growth and makes you unique. I find people also tend to judge a person by their interests and how actively involved in them are they. I guess we just have that tendency to look at someone who is passionate about something and is active in it and go "Wow, if this person can be so passionate about something they love, imagine how passionate it would be if they loved somebody." while on the other hand, someone whose interest is fickle and wavering not only seems boring but makes us lean towards "Hm, this person doesn't seem to have steady interests, they could be here today and gone tomorrow."
^Kinda like when an employer looks at the resumes of potential candidates.
Sometimes whether or not you are "boring" is not the real matter... in my opinion people usually over exaggerate because they want to apparent being "very interesting" and is disappointing when you get to know the "real" them