Tuesday, 02 March 2010
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Would You Rather: A Lover Who Never Leaves, or a Husband Who Does?
I’ve been thinking a lot about different cultures and thoughts on relationships and marriage. Such as in Eastern countries it’s frowned upon to have a boyfriend, but often get married at eighteen, sometimes to people they know, other times to strangers [yes arranged marriages do still exist]. Whereas here in the west, it’s more common to have a boyfriend, some couples decide to proceed to marriage, others are happy as they are.
The question I’m thinking about now is, if more people would rather have a significant other their whole lives without getting married, or be married for a short period and have their significant other leave them?
[Note: this is not to say that I think if you’re married you’ll automatically get divorced, the question is simply if those were the options which would you prefer.]
See, because I’d choose to be married for a short period of time and have my husband leave me. And I’m wondering if it has to do with my background. Although I was born and raised in the West my parents were not, and they had an arranged marriage. They don’t expect me to have an arranged marriage, they would actually prefer I find a man on my own to save them the hassle. I’ve had boyfriends that they were unaware of, but I still would not want to have a boyfriend who loves me for the rest of my life if it meant not being married. I would rather marry someone I didn’t love for a short period of time, and then have him leave me. Personally, I don’t really understand why. I just would.
What would you rather have, a lover that never leaves you, or a husband who does?
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Comments (49)
I would rather have a lover that never leaves. Marriage to me is just a piece of paper and tax benefits. I would still have some ceremony with close friends and family to tell them that I found someone. I'd prefer to be with the person forever. I rather not get hurt.
This is a ridiculous theory. Why on earth would you want to marry if you knew it wouldn't last? Isn't marriage SUPPOSED to be 'til death do us part'. It think it's a little shallow to chose a temporary marriage over forever love. But that's just me.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
Lover that never leaves.
Because that means they'll love you until death, unlike the temporary love of your second option.
Marriage is overrated.
@PMFoutofwater - haha I know right?
"Would you rather marry a guy who you know will leave you in two months, or would you rather spend the rest of your life with the love of your life knowing they'll never stray or leave your side?"
Tough one, that is... very thought-provoking.
I'd rather just have a lover that never left and not get married. I don't think I'm the marriage type. I don't know why.
A lover that never leaves..
"A lover who never leaves"? at my age I want a lover who gives me at least a day or two a week to myself!!
neither? i'd either want a husband that never leaves or a lover for a week.
Who the hell is gonna say the husband who leaves?
marriage means nothing if the love isn't there.
Marriage is only a social and legal institution.
If it's one or the other, I can't imagine choosing an inanimate union established by ink and paper over actual, distinct love.
I suspect if you choose the short-lived marriage you might be of the camp that believes love = marriage?
@KimisBarbie@xanga - very true
A lover that never leaves.
id def go for a lover who never leaves.
Lover that never leaves, definitely.
I wouldn't marry knowing it wouldn't last. OTOH, I personally see no point in being lovers unless you're emotionally married. I see a distinction between actual and legal marriage. A question this raises in my mind is, "Should any two people pondering this question consider being lovers if there's concern about rocking the boat by signing the papers and making it a legal bond?" If there's doubt, it seems to me that the bond isn't as strong/stable as it should be before sharing a bed anyway. To me, a legal marriage makes it clear that the bond is real and that there are no doubts. But that's just for my hypothetical situation.
My answer therefore is neither. Unless the only reason(s) for not marrying the lover who'll never leave is/are uncontrollable and uncircumventable circumstance(s).
What kind of question is this????
The divorce rate in America is 53% so apparently... well you know the rest.
The lover that never leaves, this was way too obvious.
Getting married and knowing they'll leave is ridiculous...
A lover who never leaves...
I wouldn't marry just for the sake of having a "husband"...
Why would I get married if I know he'll leave me?
O_o
odd post.
i rather have a lover who leaves me instead.
@PMFoutofwater I second that!
Haha I don't understand you either. I value commitment over the paper that says I'm married. Even though it would suck not having a real wedding
but as long as he loves me forever, I'm his.
Unbelievably I've had people tell me I'm lucky to have been married at all. They say I'm way better off without my ex-husband who left me for another woman but somehow they think just the fact that I've been married sets me apart from these friends, who haven't been married yet. They actually think that it was a good thing! Like a rite of passage that allows me to say that I was there, I did that and now have one less thing to check off my list.
Maybe this doesn't answer your question but I wish I had never been married. I wish I had never been left. And now, after thinking about it, I wish I had a lover....