Monday, 01 March 2010
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Chivalry Is Not Dead
In our generation, we may no longer find our men throwing rocks in our windows to catch our attention, or come out of our balcony to them serenading us with some folklores or Backstreet Boys songs with his home boys outside. And evermore, it’s pretty much a rarity for our modern males to ask our parents’ before ‘courting’ us, nor they write us five page love letters consisting of Shakespeare’s sonnets.
Although this might be the case, I still believe that chivalry is not dead. It just has been restructured, reconstructed, reformed, rehabilitated, (insert further definition). But it is definitely not dead.
Our contemporary men’s act of chivalry may not be as obvious & evident compared to how they were several decades ago, but personally, they are there. In fact, I think chivalrous men are everywhere!
Based on my own experiences and observations, here are some ways I discovered they exist:
Of course, the infamous door-opening act of chivalry. Given that women of today are more independent, we almost always aren’t used to waiting for men to open doors for us anymore (especially car doors). But personally, I think it’s still courtly when I open the door beforehand and he holds it for me subsequently. As far as car doors, if he doesn’t have power lock, I shouldn’t have to wait outside the car before he realizes I am locked outside.
When it’s dark outside, a man will walk you to your car, to your building, to (insert place), to make sure of your safety. It may not be necessary for him to walk you to the door when he drops you off, but waiting until you’re inside your house is always a polite gesture.
He pays for the first date, or at least offers. I have never been so turned off in my life except for this one time this guy who liked me, asked if he and I can have lunch, and said, “Hey, Can you spot me?”
If he thinks I have a certain je ne sais quoi about me that night, it’s only fair he gives me credit, but of course, sincerely, not just to kiss ass. I did get ready for hours just to look beautiful for him, right? I think I deserve food for my ego, even if it’s just for the night.
A guy who has a great sense of well manners would give up his jacket for you in a heartbeat. Yes, he’s cold too and yes, I know I should have brought mine. But the fact that he is willing to sacrifice for me? This man just might be a keeper. And if I see that he’s freezing his ass off, we can always share his jacket. What a good excuse to be closer next to each other, don’t you think?
I know there’s more acts of chivalry I see many men still possess today, but these are just a important ones I would like to point out.
How about you ladies, what else do you find chivalrous men do nowadays?
And men, what things do you do to your lady to show her you’re a living proof chivalry isn’t dead?
I am definitely looking forward to hearing for you!
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Comments (59)
My boyfriend opens the car door for me, and at first I was all
.
But it's sweet. He also pulls my chair out and walks on the outside of the sidewalk so I don't get splashed.
the best reason to walk your date home is to hope you'll get invited in...
those suitcases have to be empty...there's no way he would look so comfortable carrying 4 loaded suitcases!!
My boyfriend likes letting me know when he's home, asks my Dad for things before asking me (so not used to that). He even gave up his hoodie (which was nice and warm) because I was cold. He was freezing and made sure that I was warm. So I cuddled with him to try to keep him warm. But, yeah, he always opens the door for me and always pays for dinner/movies (as much as I protest and try to pay him back). But, yeah, I don't think that chivalry isn't completely dead. Which is good to know. (=
It exists between my SO and I
The same way he does things for me, I do it for him - things a woman should do for her man.( Yeah Im kind of old fashioned in some ways.)
My ex used to always pay for everything, even if I told him no, he always insisted.
If we were crossing the street he would grab my hand while we crossed to make sure I was safe (sometimes made me feel like a little child, but it was cute) he also always opened doors for me, or would help me put on my coat.
My boyfriend opens the car door for me about 99% of the time and for that other 1% it's because he simply can't (like his hand are busy) or because we're with other people and we'd be making them wait. We were on a road trip once with a mutual friend and he felt so bad about not opening the door for me a few times that once we were sitting inside the car he grabbed me and we just cuddled for a little bit while he said he was sorry. It really wasn't a big deal that he hadn't done it, we were just so used to it that it felt weird that he didn't. I love that he does it though.
My ex was more old school chivalrous I think, but my boyfriend now is still chivalrous. He doesn't open car doors lol but he gets the other doors, and will give me his jacket, carry my things, it's sweet =]
My friend took off his jacket, placed it on the bench/slab of concrete for me to sit on so I wouldn't get my clothes dirty. Is that sweet or what? Also, while walking down stairs in heels he tends to hold my arm and his other arm in front of me in case I trip so I won't fall down. AND he makes sure that I'm always walking on the inside of the sidewalk when we go out. He got these gestures from his grandmama. She ingrained them into him since he was a wee little tyke. He also does the typical gentlemanly things such as open doors, lets the lady enter the room first.
chivalry is still alive, it just went under operation to adjust to the new age... there are things that can be done and certain things that are difficult to do, for example, if and when we're in front, we could open doors, but if by some chance she gets ahead, chances are you can't open it for her unless she's being a princess. also, there's really not much you can do with open car doors to help her out, it's like you'll have to run around just to open the door, and by the time that happens, she's already open the door and close the door. but things like opening the car door for her first and making sure she gets inside safely when leaving, that can be done. ummm... what else? anyways, i have to get going.
@JupitersDays@xanga - lol that reminds me, i actually put my jacket on the floor so this girl's purse doesn't get dirty...
I'm pretty squeamish when it comes to gory scary movies and one of the things that made me realize my boyfriend is a keeper is when I covered my eyes during one of the Saw movies and he placed his hands over mine to ensure I didn't have to look. I thought that was very chivalrous of him. I almost started crying tears of joy when he did that because my ex used to pry my hands away from my face and make me watch all the horrible parts in scary movies. My current boyfriend also pulls me closer to him when I look like I'm getting scared. He said he loves to freak people out during scary movies because he thinks it's funny, but he said that with me it's different because he doesn't ever want me to be scared, awwwww. :) I love him.
no my so or anything, but once had a guy hold the bus & make sure i was safely on before getting on himself... talk about chivalrous =)
it’s pretty much a rarity for our modern males to ask our parents’ before ‘courting’ us
- I think it's because you girls have already "courted" thirty guys before us.
@kawasaki_saiyan@xanga - Awww! That's so sweet!
Ahh yes another post about chivalry bollocks -- a societal tradition of where men supplicate women.
What's equality now? Wish women saw things from the other direction and see the fallacy of being expected/obligated to open doors and pay for the opposite gender.
Men are seen as "cheap" and not a keeper if they don't pay for women but it's OK if women just pay for themselves or don't pay at all.
Here's to hoping society once makes a leap during my lifetime.
those that think its dead haven't had the opportunity of witnessing it first hand
@xXDC_luyouXx - or maybe some just do it out of the kindness of their hearts? or is that too far fetched too
@diannisforever@xanga - Strawman argument... nice but chivalry is an issue of gender discrimination. Women aren't expected to have "kindness of their hearts". Go ahead and reread my previous post.
This thread is about how men are suppose to be chivalrous incase you didn't read the initial post either.
I always sleep on the wet spot after sex. Chilvary is not dead.
i'd rather have a kind man than a chivalrous man. chivalry is born out of the idea that women are weak. unlike kindness, it does not include respect.
usually older men are quick to hold the door open for me when they see me walking from far away towards the door to the store or wherever I'm going, so they can check out my youthful perky ass. I don't mind it
if I'm on a date and he is being polite and insists on showing nice gestures, then I'm all for it. it doesn't happen often though that the guy opens the car door for me. the last time it happened was at prom.
I'm so tired of this discussion.
oh my god no one cares about this topic anymore.
it's like the skinny v. fat posts... let's just beat it to death, shall we...
@greenglow28@xanga - They are... with a nail-studded, poison tipped cudgel the size of Zeus' wang. This topic is barely even recognizable as pulp anymore. Just... slush.
When can we stop calling it "chivalry" and just start calling it what it is, being polite and cordial.
Person A holds the door open for person B:
1.) If (A) is a girl , then she was just being nice, but
2.) If (A) is a guy, then he was being chivalrous...? WTF?
I hate the term "chivalry". As well as this never-ending topic. Girls who have bad experiences with men just keep arguing we're a bunch of dogs and those with wonderful boyfriends can't gush enough about what a knight-in-shining-armor he is.
i forget how chivalrous my boyfriend is sometimes. when we get to the car sometimes i open my own door and he's just left standing there to close it for me. his way of changing it is to not unlock the door until he's at the door before me just so he can open and close the door for me.
sometimes when he's driving (he likes to drive fast) and he's making a big turn he'll reach over to make sure i don't get knocked into the door. :) he's such a sweetheart.