Monday, 01 March 2010
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My Girlfriend Moved In with My Best Friend
Short, sweet, and to the point, but I would like to give some background information.
I met my girlfriend in college and have been together for 2 years and 3 months (exactly on this day). We haven't separated from each other for no longer than a few days. We spent every waking second together; in fact, she and her roommates thought that we were spending too much time with each other and a big fiasco broke out and she moved out from her dorm room to another (mind you, the campus had a strict "no co-ed sleeping" thing going on but we were slick about it and the RA liked us.)
We cooked for each other, we slept in the same bed, we worked hard together... until this day. Today, she moved out from my house. We had long graduated and had decided to live in my mother's for a while until we can get a financial foothold to start our lives. She felt that she wasn't saving enough money living with me, so she got an apartment with my best friend (a male) as her roommate.
At first, I hated the idea of her leaving me in any shape or form. Next, the insecurities started settling in; no matter how much I trusted both my SO and my best friend, uttering the phrase "my girlfriend is living with my best friend" just has me shaken. They both know how I feel about her moving out, but I can't stop her from making her own decisions either. One way or another, I'm going back to sleeping alone tonight; and, I'll probably be sleeping alone for sometime from here on in.
It's really hard for me, but I don't show negative emotions. I'd rather workout until most of the depression is gone.
She says things won't change, but I know they will. Change happens to every one; it is inevitable. And I love my best friend too. I trust him with everything.But I've been hurt before and have been a skeptic of people. (Plus, I watch a lot of daytime shows).
So how would you feel in this situation? Any advice? At this point, I've exercised so much that my body can't take much more of a beating so I'll take anything you got.
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About the Author
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- From: Blinkrcks6@xanga
- Name: Bryan
- Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
- About Me: Oh gosh. I'm sorry to break it to you, but I'm a guy. I didn't mean to mislead you.
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Comments (66)
wow. paranoid much? it's your gf of many years who you've lived with all this time, and your best friend of i don't know how long, but it must be an even longer time. you need to get your head on straight, or you'll push this relationship to the grave with your insecurities. you have absolutely no reason to NOT trust either right? just know that much, and live with it.
unless you're not telling us the whole story.
nothing u can do. out of your control. but, in the end, everyone will end up with who they're supposed to be with.
Well I can see why this would bother you, it must be hard. Your prob asking well why would she move out from here to live with another male instead of a female. But your right its her choice and if something does happen I think one of them would tell you, but right now you have to trust her and show her that you trust her
that just strikes me as strange. not only that she would move out to save more money (do your parents charge rent or something? because now she'll have to pay half the rent for an apartment),but she is going to move in with, of all people, your best friend.
i don't know the whole story with you two, but since you've given us no reason to mistrust her, or your best friend, i suppose i don't see any obvious danger... but i really don't understand her reasoning, so i guess i'm left a bit confused
if i was in your shoes.....her moving out of my house thing, wouldnt bother me....
but to go and live with my best friend? i definitly see where your comming from dude. i would hate that alot.
what happens happens. you cant change her or anyone else. but hey, remember this saying. it helped me alot when my ex gf stopped talking to me. ( while she was my gf. i thought she was cheating or something weird was up. and i was very sad. )
UNTIL i read this: "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough troubles on its own"
so dont worryt about it man. i know that may be really hard to do....i know its hard.
idk man. i hope everything works out. ill be praying for you dude. good luck!
Guess this is the biggest test huh, to see if your best friend is really your best friend, and if your gf is only thinking of you.
Oh dear. We all know what your bessie mate will be trying to do...
Dating blog -http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
I wish people would stop leaving all these negative comments- you sound REALLY ignorant and the question wasn't to evaluate his relationship or judge it.
I can understand how you feel but I don't really know what to tell you. Communication is key * but good luck.
@andsoshewrites@xanga - I dont understand that either...how is she going to save more money in an apartment with the best friend? Unless his parents charge her rent, and a high amount at that. That strikes me as very odd. When my ex used to live with me, my parents never charged her for rent.
But if my ex went to live with my best friend...I would have my concerns, as sometimes people's feelings start to change as they start to adapt to another person...but I would have trusted my best friend and my girlfriend at the time. Just as long as there's not more to the situation.
Why don't you ask her to marry you?
Does she not have girlfriends to live with? If I were her, I would definitely know how it might bother you, living with a guy.
I sleep alone every night and only get to see my SO every few months so I don't see the problem. If you actually trust your girlfriend and your guy best friend, there shouldn't be an issue. I can KINDA understand if this situation was a problem iff she was sharing a bedroom with him (you didn't mention about sleeping arrangements sooo).
its over. Sack up.
If it was ONLY the two them....oh helllllll no. and that's all there is to it.
@andsoshewrites@xanga - that's what I was thinking... it doesn't make any sense.
idk. everybody's saying trust trust trust, but...............and i am not a jealous person, but that would make me feel NOT GOOD. that entire situations smells of ..strange......
i would NEVER live w my bf's best friend over him... i mean, not only because he's kind of dumb, and kind of annoying, but.... that's just effing strange, like my bf is my best friend, the only male i would want to live with alone.
is moving out (into a new apartment) gonna save any more money than staying at ur mom's? mmmm
Actually, I do have more to say.
First of all, if I were to live with ANYONE it wouldn't be my boyfriends best friend...at least not just the two of us. I wouldn't want my boyfriend living with my best friend no matter how much I trusted them. Get a roommate of your own gender. It's just respectful for your SO.
Second, I wouldn't live with you in your mama's house, either! Move out of your mother's house if you want to play house. I would feel so uncomfortable. Honestly, that's probably the real reason why she left in the first place. It just doesn't sound right. You tryna do grown up things in your parents house. That's just absurd to me, but it's probably because my parents would never ever stand for that in their house...EVER.
Why don't you move out of your mom's house and then ask your girlfriend to live with you? If you really want to take serious steps like living together, make the moves to become a little more independent. If not, I can see why your girlfriend moved in with the best friend with HIS OWN place...just sayin.
Wait, so why did she choose your best friend to move in with? Did she not have any other options??
yea that sucks. I mean even my guy cousin offering to share an apartment with me was weird
wtf?
@Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga - Same.
I think that's a really odd situation.
I understand your trusting them both, but the SITUATION, not necessarily the people, is the problem. It's really awkward.
I feel like this isn't the whole story?
Like, is your best friend also her best friend? How long have they know each other?
How long have you known him. It might all just sound bad, and really be circumstantial. I don't know.
In any case, if it's meant to be and she's true and he's true to you, then you'll have no problem.
Yeah, this whole situation doesn't make sense.
Make more money and move out. Get a decent job? Get a life?
they're definitely going to fuck.
in the meantime, you realize you could just sleep over with her right?