Sunday, 28 February 2010
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Did He Really Just Say That?
Let me paint you a little picture. It's Saturday night--party night. Whether you're at a house party or at a bar, pick-up lines should never be forgotten as a side effect of looking hot when you go out. From what I hear, guys are more apt to use them than ladies are (right?) Let's continue with the picture...you look hot and are having a great time with your friends. Suddenly you're approached by a stranger who says something so ridiculous, you feel compelled to flee in the most graceful way possible. Said stranger used a pick-up line. And not a decent one either, a truly terrible one that you couldn't stop yourself from laughing at. If the stranger is lucky, a drunken stupor would dissipate any sort of potential embarrassment on his/her end.
This kind of scenario happened to me one night. I was at the bar with my friends. We'd been dancing all night and having fun. It was last call, and my friends and I decided to leave so we could beat the parking lot traffic. I told them I would meet them at the parking lot, I had to run to the ladies room. I was almost to the front door when I was approached by a guy. It went something like this:
Guy: Hey....
Me: Hi--as I smiled (I said this and tried to continue walking out the door, but the place was packed and that made it harder to leave)
Guy: Moves a little closer and whispers in my ear
Me: I tried so hard to be cordial. So very, very cordial. But laughter was the only thing I could get out. I told him no thanks, and left pretty quickly.
What did he say to me you may be wondering. It was probably the worst pick-up line I've ever heard. The guy reeked of booze and leaned into my ear to say "I want to take you to Denny's" in what was supposed to be some sort of sexy voice.
Did he really just say that?! I've heard some bad ones but trying to mix Denny's with sexy? I think that's an all-time low. What should I have said? Should I have leaned in and said "Oooh, I want an eggs over my hammy so bad" with a sultry look? It's just a little absurd.
Another time I had a guy be very forward and come on strong the entire night. It was annoying because he was making it very clear that he only wanted one thing. At the end of the night, he said "So I'm going home with you, right?" That took the cake. I was beyond annoyed. I looked him in the eyes and said "I have a twin bed" (I don't really, but he'd never know that!) He looked at me for a moment, and then said he had to go to the bathroom. He magically disappeared after that. Thankfully.
Does anyone else have any terribly funny pick-up lines or stories? Have you ever used one yourself and what was the result?
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About the Author
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- From: madelynne07@xanga
- About Me: I love being spontaneous, rugby, and am learning to play keyboards. I've got quite a bit of random thoughts and enjoy exploring them. Someday, I would love to be a writer.
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Comments (34)
aww haha, i would have taken him up on it. :)
Ahahaaa what a weirdo.
I tend to block them out.. But the most annoying guys are just the persistant ones. Most of them do something along the lines of your second guy... "Let's go to your place." ... Um, no!? (:
Ahahaha. Yes, I have had MANY guys say the stupidest things.
One guy actually used that one that those 15 year old boys crack themselves up with in the highschool hallways;
Is your daddy a baker? Cuz you sure got nice buns.
Half of me felt like punching him. ESPECIALLY since it was daytime and I was just dressed in normal clothes (capri jeans & tshirt w/ flipflops), walking up the street.
Another time, I was dressed as a football player for a school pep rally sorta thing so I was wearing a huge football jersey & short shorts.
I just ran across the street (once again, daytime) to the convenience store to grab some gum and a drink or something & the cashier was like "Your boyfriend must be proud to have you as his girlfriend with those legs."
I looked at him (he looked about 10 years older than me- 17 at the time) and wished that would hurry up and ring up my meek 2 items rather than spend eternity on them. So I said (very stupidly) "I don't have a boyfriend"
And he was like "WHAT?! Any guy would be lucky to have you! I mean, you're hot, amazing legs AND you're wearing a football jersey! Dayum that's sexy."
I was just about ready to run out of there.
He made me want to hurl RIGHT IN HIS FACE.
At least he didn't say anything about my ass <-- I always get THOSE comments.
-_-
Stupid guys sometimes.
hahhah! should have made him buy you and your friends food then ditch him.. lol
some guy proposed to me at a club one night -___- literally down on one knee and everything, i just said he was embarrassing himself and left. what a night.
lol whenever a creeper comes up to me to ask to dance or something i just say "don't touch me" and turn around.. usually works.. but if not, you can call security. so ladies, always get to know the security guards at the bars/clubs you go to! it comes in handy! bahaha
bahahahhaha
Same one basically i was fourteen and some old guy probably in his 50s or 60s asked if he could take me to dinner when i was in the parking lot of a hospital. all i could do was give him my horribly disgusted look and he kinda just walked away.
While I was in a bar on a date..a guy stepped between me and my date to say "You're man looks gay".
...so it turned out he was gay...um yea.
lol...yes i think he did
nobody tries to "pick me up" -there's no comment
Yeah I've had guys tell me that they have a VIP room upstairs and wants me to go party with them. Or have guys ask me if I wanted some Beef with my broccoli (so not original) and my all time favorite...some guy proposing to take me into the bar bathroom to give me a good Fuck. Christ, bar bathrooms are disgusting! At least have the decency to offer your apartment, you dirty freak! sheesh...
He didn't!!! omg... hahahahhaa what the?!
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong!
denny's is considered high class for some drunk people
at least it wasn't the dollar menu. he probably thinks his denny's line works because I heard some girls from the maury povich show have sex with guys in exchange for hamburgers.
He wouldn't have had to ask me... I always go to denny's after a night of drunken debauchery.
hahaha that's hilarious.
I've had a drunk black guy approach me and say:
"All my life I have wanted a woman taller than me."
And he kept saying it over and over!
D:
I've had someone tell me I looked like a dolphin in the water.
Hahahahahahaha... I've gotten that stupid "Do you have a map? Because I'm lost in your eyes.." I think it's really cheesy.
i tell guys that i don't fall for pick-up lines, and they're best spent on girls who do.
btw, you should have told that guy, "Sorry, i'm an IHOP/ Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity kinda girl." haha.
when i was a waitress, i was taking some old guy's order and he goes "seeing you is like going from hell to being in heaven," among other things he kept going on about. it's totally awesome when you HAVE to stay there laughing politely and being overly friendly even when people are creeping you out. for the record, between him and his friend, they left me $1.
I got "i nailed my penis to a table and set it on fire, want to see?" once. The guy was serious about that being his pick up line. Really? WTF.
Haha i have heard some lame ones but that is pritty bad!
at least its not mcd
when i went to great american cookies on my break, the forty year old behind the counter asked, "did you fall from heaven?" i just smiled politely and asked for an original pretzel and a medium dr. pepper. it was flattering, and i got some free cookies out of it while i worked at that mall.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - yea, but thats the maury show...
anyway, pickup lines require too much effort then im willing to expel. just being honest works for me, but i dont go to clubs (they seem like a waste of time)
BAHAHAHAHA
I wanna go to Denny's!!