Friday, 26 February 2010
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This is OUR day, not YOUR day
I've noticed a trend lately, which has been around for, I suppose, forever.
But I only just started noticing it in the past few months.
What with shows like Bridezillas and Say Yes to the Dress, I got to thinking.When did a wedding become a girls day to act like a spoiled b*tch?
In these shows (mostly Bridezillas) there are these spoiled women, who typically did nothing to deserve it, who seem more concerned about everything going their way, getting what they want, and impressing their guests over everything else. What bothers me the most is that, when did weddings become about the woman in a relationship, and not the man they are marrying?
Isn't a wedding supposed to be a celebration of your commitment to one another? Isn't it supposed to be a day dedicated to showing off both new spouses, and their wonderful relationship?
I don't understand why women feel like their wedding day is the day when they should be treated like a princess; you're not supposed to be spoiled on your wedding day, you're supposed to be celebrating your coupledom. Say Yes to the Dress isn't as bad; it's understandable that a woman wants to look beautiful on her wedding day. It just bothers me when the consultants say "It's YOUR day, and we want you to have what you want," because it is not specifically the brides day; it is a day for she and her new husband.
I understand that a woman giving herself to her new husband, and her family giving her away is a big deal. But shouldn't we celebrate and be concerned with the beginnings of something new and wonderful, and not the fact that your wedding cost $500,000 or that your roses were the wrong color?
I will just never understand where some women get the impression that their wedding day is all about them, and not about their marriage. It really, deeply disturbs me. If your wedding day is all about you, then how is your marriage going to play out? How are your priorities even set straight enough for a marriage?
Has anyone else noticed this trend?
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- From: greenglow28@xanga
- About Me: I'm an 18 year old college student, but for god's sake, please judge me on what I have to say, and not my age or the rest of my generation.
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Comments (176)
i agree with you for the most part. women shouldn't say "this is the most important day of MY life." it should be the most important day of THEIR life, because they're starting a brand new one.
but i can see why women get anal about their weddings. i want a simple, small wedding but you bet i'm going to be finicky. i don't think there's anythig wrong with wanting a perfect wedding. when it starts to become more about the ceremony than the wedding though that is a problem.
i agree with every single word . they were supposed to have that day on their 16th birthday , if they didn`t , too freaking bad , no one gives a shit . there`s no "me me me" in marriage , & marriage is NOT about one person . it`s two . people . lest they forget . how much do you wanna bet those marriages on bridezilla won`t last? i wouldn`t wanna stay with THAT for the rest of my life .
I hate when the bride makes herself look good & makes her bridesmaids wear shitty colors or styles. I understand it's her pick but compromise. It happened to my mom with her friend's wedding. She let my mom have a choice between 2 dresses then went behind my mom's back & told them to use a different fabric because she didnt want my mom to look better. Then she was in charge of ordering the matching shoes but didnt. So my mom took extra fabric & glued a type of design to her shoes. Bitchzilla got jealous & copied it.
Then the whole limo ride to the church, the bride kept saying "Dont I look good?! Dont I look good?!" & mom couldnt take it anymore & said "if you ask that one more time, I'll tell you how you really look". That shut her up! XD
nah i didnt notice it, BUT now that u mention it, its kinda weird
Well, considering that it used to be (and still is) that women had to be concerned with their worth as a human being being based on whether or not they were married, I can see why some women portray marriage as a big fucking deal for ~only them~. The modern day incarnation of a bride's selfishness could then just be an extreme version of this expectation.
I'm not condoning the behavior though because that is some straight up bullshit. How many people wish they could be married only to have these select selfish women dismiss all that and focus on only themselves as some special, unique snowflake of uniqueness? Again I say, bullshit.
Hah! I just talking about that today.. this one episode was on today where the bride really believed that it was ALL about her.. It is clearly not . Great post :)
I think there's a difference between wanting a good wedding and taking it too far. When you start screaming at salespeople over the fact that you wanted off-white napkins instead of slightly beige ones, you've gone too far.
But from what I've seen, husbands aren't all that enthusiastic about the actual process. Sure, they want to show off their bride and have an official ceremony in front of their friends, and go through the rituals of commitment, but you can bet that your current fiance doesn't give a rat's tiny ass about the color or consistency of the ribbons around the flower bouquets in the second hall to the left of the chapel. Women are traditionally the ones who manage the wedding and pick out the decorations, etc. At least, in the long run. While most consult their fiance about BIG stuff, like where to have it/if it's formal or non-formal, and what he thinks looks good, most guys are relieved to get off the hook when dealing with the tiny details.
So yes, I can kind of see why some women feel that it's all about them since they end up micromanaging. Should they? Probably not. But they do. I think the only reason consultants say "It's YOUR day" is because...well, the man isn't going to give a crap about the nit-picky details.
Those shows give me the impression that a lot of woman think that a perfect wedding will give them a perfect marriage. Thats just plain stupid.
I've been living with my bf for a year and a half now and we dont want to get married yet. I think its the same, just with all the legal stuff so, whats the rush. We have a better relationship than my friends who had the " perfect" wedding.
I'll ask him if he wants to help with the planning or if he wants to hand it all over to me, which I won't mind if he insists that I make it my way. if we are on a budget, I don't mind a small wedding, but if we have the financial means to do it, why not make it lavish like a celebrity wedding. bridezillas are just crazy and overly dramatic. I'd probably want to renew my vows and do a lowkey and high profile version
I won't mind if we don't get married but save the money for a vacation filled honeymoon around the world. who says I can't have a honeymoon even if I'm not married
@MadMarch@xanga - That's not it. We're just not looking forward to extra drama. Men are typically more laid back while girls are in a panic. It doesn't mean we don't want a great celebration.
Haha I love that show. Seriously, though, I don't think anyone acts like that in real life. Most people recognize that if they want a long and happy relationship they can't be a bitch 24/7.
I'm so fascinated by the show. The cost of a wedding scares me; why put on a big production for the approval of others? Personally, I'd love to just elope to some Italian villa. :3
These women were probably already like that. The whole wedding thing just amplifies it.
i don't think anyone's looking up to bridezilla's as an exemplary way for a woman to behave...
My wedding will be a day to make me and my partner show how much we love each other! It will be for both of us.
i completely agree, i cant even watch bridezillas because it makes me wanna scream at the tv. hah. i mean theyre only ruining it for themselves.
weddings are ridiculous. and a huge waste of money and time. i will be eloping for sure. in some $50 dress, if even that much.
thats why they dont realize that most of the soon to be husbands are walking down the aisle on cold feet.
I totally agree with you, and I've noticed this for a while. Women seem to want to make the day about them, but it's not solely about them... or it shouldn't be. I can't imagine acting like a spoiled brat on a day where I'm supposed to be sharing it with my husband.
@diannisforever@xanga - It's no more than they deserve for acting like brats, lol
I hate Bridezilla-ish women. I got married/pseudo eloped (5 day engagement, lol) and spent about 300 bucks total on my dress, husband's outfit, wedding bands, and food/champagne. I had a blast. Nothing went the way it was supposed to except for the fact that I married the man I love, and frankly I couldn't give a damn about the rest. A wedding is just a party - the details don't matter, your spouse does. Your marriage is no less significant if you do it on 5000000 dollars or 5 dollars, if you wear jeans or designer wedding gowns, if you have yellow flowers or red. Makes me wonder why these women want to get married in the first place: what do they really want, a husband or a wedding?
@CrimsonxIllusion@xanga -I know you want a great celebration, but I'm just saying that a guy isn't going to base his mood for the day on, say, the lighting in the chapel. Unlike guys, girls tend to obsess over more details than guys do, especially on days like prom/weddings, where something like the floral arrangements can ruin the image we've built up in our heads. At least this holds true for the girls/guys I've been around. My good friend went to a consultant to plan her wedding and her husband-to-be was apparently off in a corner with a pained expression on his face after thirty minutes of feeling napkin textures and picking out champagne glasses.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - And now that she's bagged/snagged her man into marriage and there's no turning back for him, she can be as much of a bitch as she wants and just ass-rape him in court if he tries to leave.
a-fucking-men.
wise points
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