Wednesday, 24 February 2010
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When Plan A Fails.... Plan B?
So, I know I'm not the only woman who's ever had that "oh, sh*t!" moment when a condom breaks.
In my case, the guy I was with was my best friend, the first and only time we ever had sex. One tumultuous night when we sought comfort in each other, born from the hurt from our respective break ups the same week, and it turned into a something potentially much bigger.
We had a slight moment of panic (him more than me), then we stopped to consider options. He asked if I was opposed to Plan B, and when I said no, he said he'd take care of it the next day.
This is the part where I am reminded what an amazing man my best friend is. We are both students in a small, conservative college town in Arkansas where Plan B cannot be had for love or money. In between his classes the next morning, he drove all over town to all three of our pharmacies searching for it, and he could not get it. Our Wal-Mart has it, but one of the pharmacists won't sell it, and he was unlucky enough to ask that one.
So, he got on the phone and started calling pharmacies in nearby towns until he finally found one that carried AND would sell it to him.
He picked me up early in the afternoon and we drove half an hour out to get it. When we got there, he paid for it and bought me lunch while we talked. After I took the pill, he was extremely caring next few days. He would call, text, or talk to me twice a day to make sure I was doing all right because he felt bad that I had to take it, and suffer the side effects. He'd ask me how I was doing, if I needed anything, etc.
This is all while he is panicking much much more than me. He was extremely nervous and freaked out to the highest degree (he openly confessed this to me), yet throughout everything, he remained mature, composed and responsible.
I was so impressed with the way he handled things. So many men would not have dealt with it nearly as well.
Since then, we know that I am NOT pregnant, and we have managed to return to being best friends with no repercussions, for which I count myself extremely lucky. Sex can seriously complicate friendships if you let it get out of hand.
Has this ever happened to you? What was your situation? What did you do? How did you and your partner handle it? What do you think the guy's role should be in cases like this?
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Comments (140)
I stayed up the rest of the night calling every goddamn pharmacy in the county trying to find one that was open at 2AM, didn't find one, and then in the morning, finding one that carried it. Drove all the way out there with the dude the next day, he paid for half of it, and that was that. Oh, he apologized like a thousand times.
Yep. I just walked into Planned Parenthood, bought it, took it, and then hubby took care of me for the rest of the day because it made me violently ill. Fun. I think at some point I told him, "If this ever happens again, we're just going to keep it, because I never want to take these damn pills again!" Har har.
You are lucky the plan b worked for you.
While not the same thing, I had a pregnancy scare. We thought the condom broke, and decided to wait for my period to show itself (or not) n a few weeks. My period was late that month, and that only reinforced the scare. I bought a home pregnancy test just in case..but lo and behold, my period came, and the test wasn't needed.
However, my bf and I talked about what we would do should a pregnancy happen. We decided that we'd test it out with a home pregnancy test first, then get it tested at the doctor's, and then we'd research up abortion clinics and options in our area (we are both students and can not afford a child at this point in our lives). And we'd go through the abortion experience together. Another option would be to use Plan B right away (we live in Canada, where it is not difficult to get Plan B through a pharmacist. If the pharmacist won't sell it, he/she is obligated to refer the patient to one that will) if we are certain the condom broke.
My bf feels that since we're both responsible for any consequences of sex, his responsibility would be to be there for me and support me in any way he can.
condoms aren't that trustworthy. they're making them thinner and thinner. this plan b situation never happened to me. the guy should do exactly what you described.
I hate when people violate the reproductive rights of others. It's ridiculous that you had such difficulty getting access to it. One of the things I hate most about this country is the Puritanical view towards sex.
same thing happened to me earlier this past year.
i am pregnant now though
This has never happened to me but I would also freak out..alot.Glad it worked out for the best for you though!
I bought it on my own and took it and didn't tell him. I didn't really need it as my period came the next day, but I decided to take it on my own just for precaution. We were early in dating so I didn't say anything. It's my body, my business and I took care of it. No biggie. I really thing they should make it available everywhere and easily, it's getting better than before, but some states, not so much.
Yep, first time my boyfriend and I slept together. We were really in the moment and went for without a condom...bad decision, it was his first time. We were sure he didn't actually...well, finish inside me, however just to be sure, he paid for a full tank of gas, and we drove to the nearest Planned Parenthood (local pharmacies means your friends, family, etc. ALL work there), which was 20-30 minutes away. To increase our panic, he couldn't get it because they didn't accept his debit card as the card machine was broken.
I had to leave for home shortly after this adventure. However, he hung on with me and called/texted me endlessly throughout the day and the next night, concerned about his presumed accident, and we had to wait a day until he got his paycheck. We drove back to the place, and he sat in the waiting room (brave feat with the glaring nurses and patients) while the ladies processed me and gave me the package. He stayed with me until I had to leave again, making sure no ill side effects came over me, and for the next few days made sure I was drinking/eating and not feeling any ill side effects. Such a sweetie. <3
@Sgt_Pepper13@xanga - Honestly. It's not that bad in my state but when you're in a freaking panic, you should be able to get the contraceptives you need.
You'd think with overpopulation being an issue, as well, they'd be more concerned about it.
It's never happened to me... I seem to have trouble GETTING pregnant! :D It did happen to a friend though.
I don't understand why you had trouble getting it? Isn't it the pharmacist's job to sell it to you?
Also, teach your poor friend how to properly use a condom if you don't want to go through this again or have a child... In the almost 5 years that I've been having sex (3 of them with condoms) we've never had a condom break because my husband knows how to use it correctly.
yeah I had to get plan B...when I think back on it its pretty fucked up I went and paid for the whole thing.
But I figured hey it was my responsibility to tell him to get off of me and I could have easily said no sooo....I should get it.
And the scary thing is I would have never considered getting any if he didnt suggest I get it.
I dont know wtf I was thinking...cause I could have EASILY gotten preggers.
What a good bloke.
it's scary that there are pharmacies out there that refuse to sell Plan B. Is that even allowed? FUCK i definitely would complain. What happened to privacy?
Well just to notify everyone. Just because your period comes right after having sex doesn't mean you won't get pregnant. It just reduces the chances SIGNIFICANTLY. It is also true with Plan B. It is ~99%effective not 100%.
Common Side effects of Plan B:
Endocrine metabolic:
Weight gain
Gastrointestinal: Abdominal
pain, Altered appetite, Diarrhea, Nausea, Vomiting
Neurologic: Dizziness, Headache
Psychiatric: Depression
Reproductive: Breast tenderness, Cyst of
ovary, Irregular periods
Serious but Rare Side Effects:
Endocrine metabolic:
Breast cancer
Reproductive: Pelvic
inflammatory disease
Other: Sepsis
Plan B, and oral contraceptives are not replacements for condoms as they do not prevent the transmission of STI's such as HIV and etc. Plan B is not meant for constant usage as the chances of the rare side effects may occur. Always tell the pharmacist/doctor what other medications you might be taken as it may affect the use of all drugs.
In addition, Pharmacists have a right NOT to dispense Plan B because it is within their right to deny it for any reason. Most pharmacist deny it because they don't believe in abortion. Also some states have a minimum age requirement to purchase Plan B, in NYS it is 18.
@BebePnai13@xanga - In most states it is allowed. Because as pharmacist we are allowed to practice freedom of religion. If the religion is strong within a particular pharmacist then he or she has a right to NOT dispense it. Plan B isn't a life or death situation for the patient, Pharmacist are able to deny the medication because it can only be dispensed through the pharmacist in the pharmacy. (There are other methods of obtaining it) Some pharmacies will not even order Plan B because they won't dispense it and it is expensive to keep on stock.
@CrAdLe2daGrAve@xanga - How old are you? I'm pretty sure Xanga is only for those of us over the age of 13.
i've had to buy plan B several times, but none of which i was the cause of, but i have a lot of female friends and i'm generally the one who takes care of everybody. my ex and i had an oh-shit moment once when she was ovulating which was pretty scary, but it turned out to be a false alarm. btw, you can buy it over the counter at kaiser hospitals for $16.40, that's the best price i know of for it and you don't have to be a kaiser member.
can we please talk about how difficult it was for you to get plan b....that is so unbelievably fucked!! what a good guy though, if only they were all like that!!
@CrAdLe2daGrAve@xanga - LOL I'm so afraid of getting verbally fucked up. The capital letters are frightening.
I've had to buy so many girls Plan B it's ridiculous.
(I've had to physically buy it, not pay for it, because I was over 18 and they were not. Here, you have to be a legal adult to purchase it.)
I've never taken it myself though.
The partners of these girls didn't give a shit.
You're lucky to have been involved with such a gentleman. (:
I just always wrapped my tool and pulled out. Worked fine for me. :P
@CrAdLe2daGrAve@xanga - Hahaha :D
umm weird, this actually happened to me just barely a week ago.
condom slipped, and we went to the closest CVS. he asked for it and paid for it.
since then, he has been asking me how i've been doing.i didn't throw up/feel any significant side effects. only cramping, and some emotional turmoil but that was probably because of the sex than the pill.