"I really like how you're not so typical compared to other girls." -- words of my first boyfriend
I don't know if I've just become cynical after hearing so-and-so compliment and having my feelings stepped on, but I know my first boyfriend said I was different. Was I supposed to believe that? Was I supposed to take that as a compliment?
At the time, I did believe it, and I did take it as a compliment. But, looking back, I'm not so sure anymore.
I just wonder if the people who say "You're special and unique" say that simply to say something nice, and do not really mean what they're saying. I know my friend has heard the "You're not like every other girl" about eight times, but I feel that she genuinely is different than the "typical" girl and the comment is not a surprise.
Have many of you dealt the "You're different" card as a compliment? Do you say the words and mean it? Or are do you consider all SO's or potential SO's to be "different" and "not so typical"?
Have you been the recipient of the "You're different. You're not like every other girl/guy" comment? Do you consider it as a compliment? Do you find the comment to be genuine?
(Mid-post edit: I'm probably just doubtful of my first boyfriend more than anything else >____>... but still I'm still curious, lol)
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Comments (92)
The first guy I ever went out with tried to feed me that line. So I probed him as to WHY he thought I was "special" and "different" than other girls. Not to flatter myself, but to test his honesty. He was full of it. All he could come up with was "you're funny and smart and pretty." Basically something general enough that would fit any girl he would date. But I hated it because it was obviously a bunch of crap.
It can be said in a truthful way though. Perhaps with a small clue as to WHY that person thinks the other is so unique.
Eh, I've thought it when first getting with a guy (like, oh, he's not your typical guy), but after a while, well, they're all the same to me. They each have their "quirkiness" about them, but are essentially the same.
yes, many people have noticed that there's something unusual about me. This began very early and has continued through adulthood as I expected it would. I guess I'm a mutant, you could say.
It's kind of like when someone expresses the sentiment that they're "not like other guys/girls."
I have yet to meet a guy that's not like anyone else.
Thinking about it.. I have only one guy who told me that and I believed him because I was his "first" love. I ended up running away so I guess I am "different" and "unique" in my own ways.
I just get told I'm scary all the time. Or intimidating. Fantastic.
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - Yeah, guys will get this one all the time from girls. "You're not like most other guys!"
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - Funny, I don't think I've actually ever told someone they weren't like other people. I just hear it straight from them..."You'll see, I'm not like most other guys!" Yeah, okay, prove it instead of telling me it.
I mean maybe sometimes when people say one of those lines they genuinely mean it, but most of the time they more than likely don't actually genuinely mean it.
I would take it as a compliment. How would you feel if he said 'You're just like every other girl'? You'd take it as an insult, right? Us guys really can't win.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
I got that from my recent ex as why he likes me. He says "You're not like any other girl" but treated just like a "typical" girl.
ok excuse my vulgarity please
I get, your not like ANY other girl...when it comes to sex or honesty from guys. I tend to be super open about my feelings and yea some guys can shy away pretty easily but alot of guys consider me fresh and interesting. When it comes to blow jobs, i tend to have a specific technique i use and guys says that i'm alot better then past girlfriends they've had.
So yes, it is a compliment
It's a compliment and yes I've heard that before from middle school boyfriends til my ex,with whom I actually considered a REAL relationship.
My ex told ME he was different- yeah,that's how I know you're NOT. (different as in a liar,cheater and an actor who made me look like a fool all the time), and I agreed but always knew he really wasn't.
My fiance really IS different, I can honestly say I've never met anyone who's gone through so much in his life and came out the way he did(not literally). He's very mature for his age. He's pretty far from your average guy and has really good head on his shoulders.
I was never the first to say "Wow, you're different" because that's just feeding their ego and we all know they don't need that.
i hear it a lot too, usually i just take it as a compliment.
I've recieved it and I just say Danke [donk-uh]. A person's view of "typical" is just a word they use to generalize the type of people they might not find interesting i.e material or superficial based people. If they do say it to be nice, just act like you took it as a compliment and move on :]
I always hear that. In a lot of ways I do agree with them to an extent. i.e. I know the kind of girls they were with before me, and in that sense, yes I am different. Also I know how the majority (notice I'm not saying "all") of girls tend to carry themselves in a "typical" manner (i.e. girly-girl), but there are those, such as myself, who are tomboy. Nonetheless, no matter who it is, deep down we're all different in our own unique way.
But anyways, whenever someone tells me that I am different from the rest, I politely thank them and accept it as a compliment for the time being, but brush it off. I won't take them seriously unless they can actually pinpoint some things about me, and sound genuine about it. Otherwise, I think they're just blowing steam (i.e. my last ex, could never really tell me why me, yet he was always able to point out qualities in other girls, like the girl he's "not" with right now).
i don't like that kind of compliment because it pretty much insults your gender.
i have been told that multiple times, from guys and girls. Ill take it to heart depending on the person and the situation!!
For instance my boyfriend (my first, also his first) tells me that frequently still! But each time its different!
He doesnt look at other girls. He stares down other guys. He respects me, shows me his genuine care and love through
even the simplest things! But then I'll receive that line from a girl i am not close friends with....and its just....awkward?....
What you have to do is to ask him how were you different from others. From that, you'll know if he actually meant it or not.
the first time it was said to me, i did believe it, and thought of it as a compliment. now its just so overrated. i dont think im all that different
if i say it to someone, im not kidding.
i really do mean it! at least its what i truly think
i never say something nice ya know?
lol but my last relationship was pretty ironic. the very next week after i told my gf why she was so different and awesome, she started acting like everyone else. i was wait wtf?
I've gotten this a lot.
I generally believe they mean it, and I'm probably further off the idea of a typical guy than most, but I do think in part it's because the typical member of the opposite sex is all too generalized in most people's minds.
@icesoul_09@xanga - He followed "You're not so typical..." with "Your humor is classic" and "You've taught me a lot about myself"... I think it's all pretty vague, so I guess my suspicion and my doubts are valid...? loool
I've gotten it a few times. I think its to each his own.
i would get the "you're not like other girls" or "you're different from the other girls i have talked to" but as soon as i would say i wasn't ready to date/talk on a romantic level, i would then receive "you're just like the rest." :) so i think it most of the instances it was BS to try and get somewhere they wanted.