Saturday, 20 February 2010
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Physical Intimacy and Desire
One would describe physical intimacy as the glue that keeps couples together. The desire you have for your SO elevates them to being more than just a friend to us. When you commit to someone, you make an oath or agreement to which you share meaningful ties with that one special person.
Physical intimacy is an expression of one's passion that should not be looked at as some to of duty or something mandatory. It should show what you mean to each other. The problem I had in the past was getting past the emotional part of it. Part of it was due to the fact that I didn't let my feelings known to that girl on how I really felt about her. Being engaged has taught me to want to be able to talk these things out with her. Another thing I have learned is that I shouldn't rely on her to figure out what brings me the most pleasure.
Having everlasting intimacy is built over time and it's achieved on many levels and forms. It can purely sexual or also nurturing and comforting. For each couple it's different however. One should never underestimate the power of a back rub or a settle kiss.
How comfortable are you discussing your physical desire with your SO?
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About the Author
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- From: josifus77@xanga
- Name: josifus77
- Location: United States
- About Me: Whats up Xanga?!? Im a 28 year old Christian that's engaged to the love of my life. I'm here to discuss real things and meet new people.
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Comments (34)
i don't think i could be with a person if i weren't comfortable discussing what i want with him.
I have a big mouth.
I let it be known what I want, when I want it, and how I want it.
Whether or not I get it is a different story, however.
pretty damn comfortable.
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - now if only i met someone who shared your attitude about it. LOL
I have a thing for shy girls.
Very comfortable.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Me neither. It would make it a VERY stressful situation for me lo.
whenever I tell him what I want, he isn't as eager to do it because it seems controlling and I'd feel the same if he told me to do specific things. on one hand, you want to be clear about what you want to avoid any awkward or unwanted sexual things done, but on the other hand, I don't really like it when I'm told what to do. when we have great sexual chemistry, I think it'll just flow and things that I do will most likely please him. I'd prefer if he just guided me with his hand or other subtle gestures rather than make it seem like a demand.
I like getting what I want, and I make that known.
I really love the raw sexuality of physical intimacy sometimes. I like it best when interspersed with occasional tender, loving moments.
Also...."subtle" kiss?
In the past, I was bad about talking about my feelings. I had no problem telling him what I wanted otherwise.
Not so much anymore
@my_horizon@xanga - yes, 'subtle' is what i meant to say lol. sorry about that!!
hard for me to do that
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i have no problem telling my man what i want. and i dont think its a good sign in a relationship if you cant openly discuss your physical desires. what else is your partner going to do? read your mind? i dont think a lot of people possess that gift.
i'm very comfortable about the physical intimacy and desires with my SO. I tell him everything and vice versa.
we're pretty good, but we're always working towards becoming more open. i love finding new layers and things about what he desires, and i'm sure he feels the same way. actually, twice as sure. lol. BUT, we do also enjoy surprises and experiments
If you can't talk to your SO about anything, then you have a problem there sir.... =/
@SFPD_PursuitZ77@xanga - umm im quite aware of that my friend. thanks though:).
I'm very comfy with talking about my desire for my SO!
We bang like rabbits, so.....
@eclecticapunkqueen22@xanga - lol i hear that
Let's just say I'm up to anything. If the man is okay with my body, then I'll be comfortable enough to do anything.
I wish i had more confidence in this department.
MY SO is my husband. We were both virgins when we married each other. We are ALLTOGETHER comfortable and open with one another. We have nothing to hide (no one else we've ever been with) and we're learning really well. I LOVE IT! :D
@BlehhItsTu@xanga - Bingo
@josifus77@xanga - *high five*
Me and my hand talk things through just find, thanks.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
Yeah, I had a bad experience.
I have no problem telling my boy (the love of my life) what I want. It's the same with him. We're very open about how much we need or don't need physical intimacy from each other. I don't see how it's so hard to communicate this to someone you love. The more walls you put up in a relationship in regards to this, the more your relationships will fail.
Also, I'm a girl, and I hate the stereotype where "girls don't ask for or need sex, only the guy has to satisfy himself". That's bullcrap. I'm a VERY needy female when it comes to that, so it's good that my SO and I both have high sex drives. Whenever we have some alone time we're at it.
And the best things ever are massage sessions where you trade off and help each other relax (I like it when the bf sits on my butt to massage haha). Or laying there in front of a movie, wrapped in a blanket, cuddling. Or tickle fights. Bwahaha >:3 If you're apprehensive about smexxing it up in your relationship or being open about it, these things are good ways to start to feel more comfortable with your guy or girl, however silly some may be.