As the news of
Alexander McQueen's suicide continues to circulate the news, I can't help but wonder, what could be that bad for a person to want to take their own life.
Something that comes to mind that's common are relationship problems or money troubles. I've had friends who could never get over a bad break-up or over their ex to the point where they thought about taking their own life.
Some even almost succeeded. I continue to hear about boyfriend killing girlfriends because they can't stand the fact they left them. Or A students taking their own life because they scored a B+ and it was shameful. When the economy went bad, whole families committed suicide because they couldn't afford to live on. In the past, I've been depressed before about life sucking to the fullest. I was in college, dating a loser who got busted for drugs, found out my phones were tapped and he had cleared out my bank account and put me in a shit load of debts. That was probably my lowest point in life but even then, the thought of suicide never occurred to me.
So what is it that pushes people to take the easy way out? What could be so bad that there are no other options?
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Comments (27)
i don't think it's always this simple that something is "that bad." a lot of people have different types of depression and dementia that make them want to commit suicide.
i'm also kinda wondering why this is on datingish, and not say, healthkicker...
The world will never know...
@soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga - that was my first thought after reading this too. Seems kind of...weird to have on here.
...yeah this doesn't belong on Datingish..
Also everyone has their own "limits." You cannot say that what one has endured is greater than or less than what you've experienced because their mental processes may or may not differ vastly from yours. For example phobias can greatly enhance a persons anxiety than those without it. This can also be applied to other applications where something like isolation from society or being rejected from your family can be like a deathly fear.
If you are religious ---
You cannot judge another because you are not God. Man judging man is hypocritical in that, man has flaws in itself. What man cannot comprehend does not make it wrong, nor correct.
If you aren't -- I'm sorry for the Christianity-relation.
Most people who kill themselves have some degree of clinical depression or another psychological disorder. What causes a person to commit suicide could be a number of seemingly little things that continue to pile up into something way beyond their control. Most depressed people are convinced they can't be helped and the world would be better off if they weren't in it. While many people do kill themselves because of crappy circumstances life throws at them, I think some form of real depression must be present most of the time.
I studied this in college, yet can understand more from my own experience.
It's not just about the circumstances of life that people find themselves in that leads them to feel as if suicide is the only solution. It's less about circumstance and what is "so bad" and more about being mentally and emotionally equipped to deal with life's hardships when they come knocking at your door. Two people may experience the same hardships and have different perspectives on the situation. Take the optimist and pessimist for example. Perspective on the same situation can affect a person's attitude when looking for a solution. The optimist may be more determined to find the silver lining and make the best of the situation, where a pessimist may feel that life has once again slapped them in the face, and feel as if the outcome is completely hopeless - especially if they already struggle with depression or anxiety disorder.
It's also about people's coping mechanisms. You may never have thought of suicide because you had the skills and tools you needed to deal with emotional hardships. That may mean you had a good support system, or skills for dealing with emotional pain or suffering in a positive non-destructive way. Others who lack ability to manage their emotions, or who do not have healthy coping mechanisms may turn to destructive things such as substance abuse, self injurous behaviour, and thoughts of suicide. This may be paired with feelings of worthlessness, loss of hope, and despair. I shouldn't forget to mention that people suffering from mental illness may have distorted views of certain situations and may evaluate a situation differently than a mentally healthy person. Also, the severity of the mental illness may push the person more into the depths of despair. Even over a situation that may be seemingly irrelevant or insignificant to others.
There are many things that may cause someone to take such drastic measures and it is a shame. I haven't experienced nearly half the horrible things as some people in our society, yet still contemplated suicide as a depressed teenager who struggled with self injury. Looking back now, I don't know why I felt that way and I don't know what was "so bad" that it caused me to think and feel so desperate to escape life. All I know is that I was not well, and I am now healthy both mentally and physically, went onto college, graduated, and now have started my career as a support worker for persons with mental illness and intellectual disabilities. I am thankful that I came out on top, and can help, understand, and empathize with others in the same situation as I once was. You are also blessed that despite your troublesome situation, you never once felt like giving up on life. Good to hear it!
it's because you're strong and most people aren't unfortunately =(
@presque_la@xanga - Glad to hear to you got better! It means there's hope out there for other people.
I don't think suicide is always the "easy way out". It never seemed easy to me, even when it seemed like my best option. It takes a lot of work to kill yourself. I'm not going to get into different methods, because I don't want anyone walking away from this post with more ideas, but I will say it's not easy. No matter what method, it takes an enormous amount of courage to actually use it. Courage that I've never found, though sometimes I wish I had.
there were times that I felt suicidal but not over a guy or grades or money. it was family problems. I felt unwanted like they would be better off without me or something along those lines because I felt like they didn't really care about me. then I talked myself out of it because it would break my heart if I committed suicide and my mother was grieving and depressed because of me. if I had nobody left in my family and my mother was all I had, I think I'd be very depressed and alone like an orphan.
It depends on the person, the situation, and the mentality. Killing yourself isn't the "easy way out", it take a lot of thought, preperation, and a lot of people resort to it. Most people who kills themselves do not want to die - they want to end the pain they are living in, they don't see a way out, they don't believe that "things can get better" or that the situation they are in is mostly always temporary. You don't have to be depressed, sad, or have a mental illness to want to kill yourself. Some people don't know or understand how to cope with different situations. Take a child or teenager, most of them don't see past friday night, and when all they can think about is how "rough" living is for them right now, and someone doesn't intervene, they may kill themselves because they can't comprehend that there is more to life. They don't know, literally do not know how to cope in a positive way. My mother suffers from depression, and as a kid I was never taught "how to cope". Nobody EVER told me that there is more to life than the sixth grade, and I tried to kill myself. It wasn't just one thing that was "bad". My whole life felt bad, I thought I'd have to live with these terrible feelings of sadness, and selfworthlessness my whole life. Once I became sad, every little thing came at me like a punch in the face, it felt like there was no reason for me to be here, like nobody cared, and that I was alone. I used self mutilation as a cry for help from my parents, because I was never taught how to ask for help. People can be stopped from killing themselves, they just need help learning that is life a tough journey, and things WILL get better. Don't judge unless you've been there, be thankful that you are not depressed, and do not have that mentality.
I was really bummed out before I read this post, and felt helpless, but now I feel a lot better.
I realized that my perspective was negative and that the key to dealing with hardships in life is to have sufficient coping skills and a positive attitude. Sometimes, things really aren't as bad as they seem.
this doesn't belong here, but you might argue that it does. well, this is a clear example of how different our psychological minds are. we all see, think, and react differently. good or bad, we're the ones who control what we see, what we think, how we think, and how we react. whether the reaction was right or wrong, one might think it was right. this is exactly what's going on with someone who's committing suicide. do they know it's the wrong to do? probably not. are they seeing things clearly? i highly doubt so. there's probably just so much going through their mind, so much that it's overwhelming their nervous system, so much that it's causing so much stress, so much that they find it unbearable to go through another day, all this is probably blinding them the big picture. who knows? or maybe they just have no more reason to live for? i read this book where a father committed suicide after seeing her daughter die. of course, that book could be fictional. but it probably holds some truth to it.
Pain.
It may come from the loss of a family member or significant other or just from the stress of everyday life building up... But it all boils down to a pain the person is desperate to escape.
while we're at it, i might as well post these:
http://www.youtube.com/user/wearetheworld#p/u/5/Glny4jSciVI
http://wearetheworldfoundation.org/
recently, the earthquake in Haiti have cause many to be stranded and homeless. please help, big or small, every bit can help make a differences.
I have experience with this and for me, it was about mental illnesses and poor timing. You have a string of bad days and then you hit rock bottom and it doesnt seem worth it anymore. Whats the point of living if every day is the "worst day of your life"
What most fail to realize in that state of mind is that with bad will come good.
honestly i agree with you so much. could someone be so weak to take their own life?
The only situations of suicide that doesn't fall under this judgement is an actual mental problem.
i, personally never had the thought of suicide ;i've always told myself that no one, or nothing in this world is worth my life .that no matter how bad things go, i can always get through it.
although i've never attempted or even thought about taking my own life, my current boyfriend has attempted, and almost succeeded .this was just a few months ago; and currently, we've been together fhor almost 3 years.his reason fhor taking his life, was due to my decision to leave after taking all the pain fhor so long.i've told myself i've had it ; and finally decided to move on. ; i told him goodbye; and i believe it was the first time i saw him cry. ;
after that night, i couldnt help myself but to go back. ;
but waht im saying is that , waht triggered his burst of emotions, and the craze in his mentality to end his own life, was due to his sense of losing everything, because honestly, at that time, he had nothing else. ;i was basically the only sense in his life; and it was when i've realized that i couldnt take it, he realized this.
the degree of "bad" depends on the nature and experiences of the person,if he or she experiences so little and apt to be pessimistic, then in his mind, the world is so bad that suicide is the best way to solve.
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when you're in immense pain, loneliness, depression, etc., you don't think logically and rationally. you can't simply say it's about things being "that bad", though sometimes things really are that shitty for people. but sometimes the pain and suffering overrides all rationality, and you just don't want to deal with it anymore because you might not even see things getting better.
I don't know how much sense that made. haha, and I've thought about suicide before but I don't think I'd ever do it. but I know that for me, I thought about it because I wanted to make people who make me feel bad about myself for whatever reason feel like shit for the rest of their lives. because I'm too nice and they mean too much to me for me to cut them out of my life, I guess that would be my supposed way to get back at them. I wouldn't ever do it though.
Certainly, it's the mentality during that time. I knew that I was like that after my first serious breakup. I never had the motivation to do anything. I was always breaking down even in public. There were even a few thoughts to myself of slitting my wrists and bleeding myself to death. It's scary and I'm glad I never went through with it. There's no reason to go through with it. It was irresponsible on my part because after thinking about it, I didn't wanna cause my family and friends pain and suffering. I learned to pick myself up and move on, even if it still hurts.
It's tragic about A students because alot of East Asian countries had some of the highest suicide rates among teens mainly because of that. The reason being is because honor is built on their knowledge and pride in their studies and when they see a B, they feel that they have failed not just themselves, but their families as well. And that the only way to make up for it is suicide to displace further embarrassment.
i know sometimes life can suck super hard, i also think about those worse off than me, helps me get over things quickly. But i have a feeling his mother was anything "normal" that he had left. and had no one to talk to
this maybe cheesy but i was in this assembly that said: "sucide is the permanent solution, to a temporary problem"
@Buckersniff@xanga - i totally agree
i dont think its about how strong or weak a person is, and its not always a situation of mental illness. when horrible things happen to a person i dont think its anyones place to judge or decide how they should react to it. sure suicide would be the most drastic and serious reaction to a crisis, but i think that labeling or categorizing everyone who has contemplated it as a solution is a mistake. you cannot imagine the pain some people feel, and no one should feel the need to call them 'weak'. everyone experiences life differently, and each person has their own way of dealing with it. even if it may not be viewed as 'socially acceptable behavior'.
Let's face it, not everyone was built with extra strength to face life's challenges and worst, they easily lose their faith.
Some are just control freaks who want to be in total control of their lives, that they see death not as a natural thing but a choice to make.
this is why i would; im tired of trying to live up to perfection (set by my own standards) and failing most often than not, and ive made soooo many mistakes that at this point im craving to restart life somehow and suicide would be the closest thing to it. not that i actually would, so plz dont sic the suicide police on me =P
i guess even when i'm at my lowest i'm still hopeful for something good to come along because i like to think optimisticly...like nothings ever too bad to end my own life.
It's really unfair to judge people with suicidal ideals. The pain that they are/were feeling is more intense than words can describe. It's hard to get out of bed because of how sad you are. You can't go through a day without crying for what seems like no reason. Thinking about any time farther than the next ten minutes is so extremely stressful because you honestly have no idea how you'll even make it through today. It's a pain that literally drowns your every move until you can't think about anything except the overwhelming pain you're feeling.
It seems like the only way out of all of the pain...even though it may actually not be the case.