As a small-framed male in the dating market, I've encountered some adversity with finding potential mates. I'm of an average height- around 5 feet 9 inches, but I weigh in somewhere around 135 pounds. On a practical level, its really not that big of a deal, but there seems to be some issues on the perception side. I've had girls say things like, "yeah, but I want a guy who can pick me up and carry me to bed" or "I totally would, but did you see how skinny he is?" And although it would be no problem carrying you to our resting place there is still this hang up that makes first impressions difficult.
"I wanna grab onto something more than skin and bones," they say. There is more than a skeleton under the sheets with you, but it's definitely not like joining the mile-high club with Kevin Smith.
I don't know, my perspective is definitely a bit biased, but I believe that there is a bit of a stereotyping thing going on when girls dismiss thinner guys on a first impression.
I come from a Southern Italian heritage and I am a naturally thin person. It has nothing to do with how much I eat or how much I go to the gym. I do both in normal rations, however, my physical construction and genetics won't allow me to look like The Situation anytime soon. I'm not angry or upset about this dynamic, because I like curvy women just as much as the next guy, but I'd just like to gain some clarity. Is it an insecurity issue? We all know how sensitive chicks are about their weight and being with a lighter guy could definitely exacerbate those insecurities. Is it a pop culture thing?
Would you date a guy who was thinner than you? If not, what are the hang ups and concerns about trying it?
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Comments (114)
My favorite guys are leaner actually. My ex's have all been 145-155 lbs, and about 6'0". I wouldn't say your height is too bad, but since you're a little shorter, you might want to bulk up a little.
I probably wouldn't like it if I weighed more than my boyfriend, and it's a plus if he can carry me without any issue, but it's not necessary at all. It just makes me feel more like a girl.
jersey shore reference. i dub this blog full of win. xD
I'm pretty small myself, but I'm dating someone thinner than me. Sometimes I feel huge next to him and girls don't really like to feel like that. But it's not enough to NOT date him, he's been my best friend for 4 years and we just started dating! He has great abs too. o:)
He is about 5'6-'7... I'm 5'2
I can't answer your questions because i'm into the really skinny guys! haha. Then again, I'm 5'1 so it;s not hard to be taller than me, or to pick me up. I think though that society has girls bred to think that they need guys to protect them, and skinny guys can't cut it. Which, is totally not true, at all.
So i think you'll find a girl out there like me who doesn't do the whole "you're too skinny" first impression. =]
I love skinny men.
i like skinny boys (: my boyfriend is 6'5 and about 153 pounds... so thats a bmi of 17.8. i like it ;)
My current SO is 5'8" and he's skinnier than me. I wouldn't change a thing about him.
Its all with preference I think. A lot of younger girls and guys I think are too worried about over anything else because they're inexperienced. As people get older I notice that looks are only 45% of the equation.
No, because I'm too insecure.
Oh, yeahh, I love skinny boys! =)
Except, I could never deal with someone being shorter than me, no matter how that sounds. I just couldn't do it. Same height, or taller.
Ehh... I probably could. But just like I told one of my guy friends the other day, girls are more attracted to teddy bears than sticks(:
I'd date a skinny guy, though it'll be kinda hard to find a guy skinnier than me because I'm a skinny person myself. Any skinnier and I would be dating a skeleton. But as far as you go, you're 5'9" and 135 lbs, I would say that's a pretty good weight. As long as you're pretty cool to hang out with I ouldn't mind dating a skinny guy. I've datd guys who are nearly as skinny as I am.
If they're tall enough.
I have a height fetish...
But back to thin vs. ... whatever. I like a guy who is average, not too thin, not too big.
A LOT of girls feel like complete monsters if they're more filled out and their boyfriend is skinny. (a woman's image of herself these days is horrific :/)
that's probably why i'm such a huge chubby chaser D:
no, i'd feel like i was the man. =/
@dream_lucidx3@xanga - I don't feel like a monster and I definitely out weigh the guy I've been seeing.
I've dated guys ranging from normal to obese to super skinny. Weight generally doesn't bother me as long as they're at least 4 inches taller than me. I dislike dating guys under 5'10 immensely.
If it makes you feel like there's hope- My husband is 5'9" 126 lbs, and I'm 5'7" 140 lbs and I think he's very attractive
hmm . . . when i first read the title, my initial response was no. I'm 5"4 and 115 pounds, so he would have to be pretty small to be smaller than me! I don't mind guys who have leaner statures or are skinny, so long as they are not shorter than me (:
I have no problem dating a guy that is skinnier than I am. In fact it's kinda my thing. But that's life. But I like them muscular. athletic is cool to. whatever. Anyway, don't feel bad, fat girls have the same problem, guys don't like to see things giggle..lol
small chance... hahaha ... just kidding, mos guys are smaller than girls because they are built that way, it shouldnt matter unless it turns into a problem that neither of you can get over.
@iiinfinitesimal@xanga - That's almost ragingly unhealthy. I mean, I'm 6'3'' and pretty thin, but I come in at about 175-180.
It's socially normal to be overweight in the US so I feel even thinner living in the states. I'm 174 cm, 65 kg, and 6% body fat.
My problem though is that my waist is 28 and I have thin legs; all my weight is upper body. I feel very insecure since I never see any females that fit my equivalent physique haha.
I like slender guys.
i wouldn't. i'm pretty petite myself and it would just make things weird for me.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - haha the funny thing is, he eats - A LOT. like, seriously, SO MUCH. he added more than $300 dollars to his meal plan last semester, and he barely exercised... i don't understand either
If it didn't bother HIM, then I'm sure I could get over it.
Usually it's the guys who want someone thinner. :/