A friend of mine has this picture in one of his albums on Facebook:
I know this is really hard to read, so here is what it says (you're welcome to skip reading it, obviously):
"This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on, but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but gives them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it.
This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.
The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.
Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgment, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming."I realized something upon reading this.
Nice guys seem to realize this pattern where girls go after assholes instead of them. They think, "Why can't she see how nice I am and like me instead, if she says that all she wants is a nice guy?"
Well, here's the deal. Some girls say they want nice guys, but that's not always true. In fact, maybe some girls are actually bitches in disguise, pretending they want all that lovey dovey mushy stuff, but going after their perfect matches - the assholes. And these are the kinds of girls that nice guys hang on to, it seems. The bitches. The ones that don't really care about the nice guy, much as they might say they do.
You know what nice guys need? Nice guys need nice girls. That really shy chick in the back of the room with the glasses, that never talks in class, that you've certainly never spoken to, that isn't so hot? Yeah, that one. Go after her, and maybe things will change.
Girls never go for nice guys?Of course that's a generalization, and not always true. But let's make another one.
Guys never go for nice girls.That's a generalization too. But maybe it will help all of us realize how much we need to appreciate the nice people in our life. How we shouldn't abuse them, and how we should consider giving them a chance as our SOs. That might change a lot.
I know this is really hard to read, so here is what it says (you're welcome to skip reading it, obviously):
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Comments (76)
People like abuse. We're all masochists. Girls like mean guys, guys like mean girls.
At work, there were two very pretty girls. One was sweet as sugar, and
the other was a stone cold bitch. Guess which one got more dates? The
bitch. It's not just the nice guys who get screwed.
I feel like something contributing to the nice guy/girl's non-success with the opposite (or same sex) is the lack of passion.
Being nice is sweet and all, but where's the fire?I think that's why people are attracted to bad boys and mean girls, it's thrilling.
See I think that its not about nice or mean or good or bad or any of that nonsensical noise. Have personality be fun and spontaneous. Be yourself, you are the only one who can. You don't have to try to be anything just be you, have fun find the things that make you happy and hold on to them thats all thats really important.
Agreed!! I believe a male cousin of mine wrote a note on this particular topic as well. Although, I do believe this street goes both ways. I am a "good girl". No parties, no skaniness, no booze, and mostly honest and kind... Unfortunately, guys don't want that.
Dating your best guy friend isn't a dumb move, ladies. He already cares, you already trust him, and you know he'd do anything for you. If the relationship doesn't work out, you'll be friends again if you were good friends to begin with. I'm speaking from experience here, not just running my mouth. It's scary, but it's worth a shot, if you ask me.
"Nice guys" and "nice girls" need to get over themselves.
@shatteredxdreamer@xanga - the point of this post is to point out that your best friend isn't the goddess you have made her out to be in your head because of your subconscious attraction to unrequitted love. Try looking for that sweet best friend in your life buddy, you know the one you whine to about how your wonderful gf never sees the potential that you would have as a couple.
My best friend had this life long hanger on. She looooovvvvedd having him as an admirer. They talked every night about her relationships and so on...she pretended she didn't understand his feelings after years of awkward hugs, letters and poems detailing his feelings for her in specifics, but as her best girl friend I knew how not-oblivious she was. She loved knowing that no matter what happened, no matter what she looked like, or did or didn't do--Mike would still worship the cow manure path she walked on. If she had ever let herself have feelings for him in return it would have deflated that arrogance he was enabling with his constant worship.
Now we are in our twenties and Mike is getting married in May to a beautiful, sweet girl that my friend obviously hates. It was a long road he had to take to cleanse his system of my friend but now he is really happy and experiencing real returned love. Every time my friend feels bad about herself she gets on facbook and tells herself how ugly his gorgeous fiancee is. Every time he makes any kind of lukewarm comment to his old friend/goddess she tries to twist it to mean he never got over her and he still pines for her somewhere in his heart.
But he clearly doesn't and anyone can see that. So payback is a bitch. And the point of this comment is to say that my friend was a bitch too. If my friend had ever given him a chance all that would have happened is he would have been in a bad, slave-like relationship and the day he realized who she really was would have been scary indeed. So stop worshipping the best friend who doesn't like you. Get over it and quit needing the chase to be attracted. Find a sweet girl that likes you back. I know it isn't nearly as exciting and dramatic. But the problem is you.
totally agree...
Best thing about this post is 'SHY AWAY's comment. Ha.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
@Shy___Away@xanga - omg I totally agree, it's so much more admirable to flaunt to the world that you're an asshole, instead of showing yourself off to be a good person!
Good Lord, how many Datingish blogs have been posted about this topic? While I consider myself a nice guy, I hate that "tribute to nice guys" because there are so many logical holes in it. The nice guy is apparently the spineless yes-man who's afraid to give his "gal pal" any real advice so that she'll like him instead of just telling her that he likes her. A GOOD guy would tell her she's got a crappy boyfriend who doesn't treat her right, would tell her when she's being less-than-mature, and wouldn't be in a relationship just to get laid. In other words, a truly good person would be honest with the person he/she likes instead of acting like a trained lapdog.
Sorry for that rant, but I'm sick of this thing.
@Shy___Away@xanga - I concur.
@shatteredxdreamer@xanga - Unfortunately, from my experience, this isn't always true. It's been 2 years since I broke up with my girlfriend (we used to be really good friends) and we haven't talked since.
nice guys=boring.. hence they don't get the girls.
bad guys=thrill.. hence they get them.
but ultimately, when a lady truly wants to settle down, she will find a nice guy instead of a bad one.. bad guys are just for thrills and excitement!
@quicksandbuddy@xanga - I agree.. I'm so tired of this topic.
the funny thing is, i've NEVER in my life known an asshole who gets a lot of girls, or a nice guy who doesn't. they're both myths, as far as i'm concerned. (that being said, i've never known a "nice guy," by which i mean a whiny pushover--i've known plenty of guys who are nice and they all get pussy whenever they want.)
Nice guys are not always so nice. Their motives may be but their thinking is not. They always want to go after the the girls who go after the bad guys so therefore making them wanting to be a bad guy to get the girl they want.
Same thing for the nice girls. That's why nice guys and nice girls will never get what they want because they can never settle for what they have.
This whole nice guy/nice girl thing is getting annoying. They just need to stop being so picky and maybe they can get someone.
yeah, I can definitely agree with this post, most of the time.
So should I just copy/paste all my comments on this from it's posting on Mancouch? Yes, I think I will, since this is just an edited version of the same. Some people on here never make it over to Mancouch.
Whine whine, bitch bitch. Sounds like someone spent a lot of time on Valentine's thinking about that special guy they didn't get. And wants to blame someone else for their failure to act.
You know you pointed out the primary flaw in your whole idea. You talked about that girl in the back, the not so cute one, the one who never talks. Please, explain to me why anyone is going to find that attractive. Let's turn the tables; a guy has little to offer in the looks department, is crippling shy, and has zero confidence. What girl is going to go "OMG YES. He is like SO hot!" Yeah, none.
You don't want to not have to bitch about those other "bitchy" girls who get the boys? Get off your ass and FLIRT with some boys. That's right. Sit where they sit in class, talk to them in the halls, hell, throw some boobage their way if you can. If you're not willing to do any work to fix the situation, don't bitch about it.
I used to bitch about all the girls not going for me, the nice guy. You know what I did? I realized that being nice isn't the problem. It was being quiet. It was being shy. Once I fixed those two things, I got a girlfriend. Quit blaming other people.
For the other post with a whole slew of comments already on it, here's the link. http://www.mancouch.com/721971558/what-nice-guys-need/?page=2#viewcomments
I've always liked nice guys. Always will. I'm not about to let my heart get manipulated by a guy who isn't best-friendship material.
I've seen too many friends of mine act like the girls in that scenario above to different guys in their lives. I feel awful for the girls for being so blind to the drama they take, and awful for the guys who patiently listen, wondering if she'll ever realize what she's doing to herself.
Maybe some people enjoy the "thrill"--I sure don't. I like the man who's not the life of the party, who isn't the most eye-catching in the room (less of an ego-problem), and wants nothing more than to get to know each other better.
I'm not naive or a hopeless romantic--I've just learned from experience.
Just because someone is quiet, it doesn't make them any less valuable in a relationship. Most quiet people, once you get to know them are actually really awesome. They're usually the ones w/more to say and they're usually more genuine.
I definitly got a good guy
I do agree though. I've went through a ton of jerks before I realized how incredible the good guy was and how much I loved him. Now I'm gonna marry him, and I couldn't be any happier about that.
Anddddddd, I adored this post. It made me smile.
@Shy___Away@xanga - I wish mcmeister was commenting. He had one of the best comments about this on Mancouch, and it sums it all up. Just enough to end all nice guy/ and jerk posts.
I want a nice guy, a nice guy who makes me hot in the pants :)! That's the problem right there. If you are a nice guy, but don't make a girl feel hot and bothered, you can be her friends for years and moon over and nothing will change. Move on dudes.
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - Sorry man, I left those all on the Mancouch version. As much as I like seeing my own writing, I'm not going to repeat myself THAT much. I put the link to the Mancouch post on here though. I'm a few comments above you.
seemed cute in the first two paragraphs but the rest the nice guy was a chump himself, such a pushover he got taken advantage of for a reason
@Sammysosa76@xanga - pretty much sums up my life! Nice girl...guys don't want that. Its pretty lame if you ask me.