Wednesday, 17 February 2010
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How Do You Tell a Girl You're Not Interested?
How do you tell a girl you're not interested as nicely and as cleanly as possible? I would like to remain as friends and only friends, nothing more.
Would you do anything differently if you had only one date than if you had a few more dates? What was the worst reaction you've had after telling a girl you're not interested? Girls, what was the worst reaction you've had when a guy told you he wasn't interested?
Girls, how would you feel if a guy used "the best way" to tell you that he's not interested? If any, that is.
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- From: anonymish
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Comments (103)
You tell her straight out, that you're not interested in her that way and that you do not wish to date her. Don't offer to be friends, because she won't be able to get over you. Don't be mean about it, but it's best to be straight forward. Most likely she'll move on.
However, some girls don't "get" it. There's a reason why someone wrote, "He's just not that into you." Some women don't get what a guy means when he says, "I'm not looking for a relationship."
well its never happened to me, but i think all girls are different and she might be so mad that being friends just wouldn't work. or if you explained how you don't want her feelings hurt maybe that would help. she could be perfectly understanding of your position after the explanation and be friends. as i said girls are all different.
"I'm not interested."
"Your pussy doesn't do it for me."
"I like dudes."
"I like you better as a friend."
"Little John is scared of you."
"I have a girlfriend, she lives 3,000miles away, but I love her & am dedicated to her."
"I have to wash my hair."
"Oh, you actually thought that I was interested, oh wow, uhm, awkward....."
It depends on what your relationship is with her now and how comfortable you two are with each other. You would obviously handle the situation differently if you've been friends for years vs. having just met.
If you're already good friends, be upfront.
If you've just met, start off subtly. (Maybe tell her that since she's such a cool friend, you'd like to ask her advice about another girl you like?)
Don't be a jerk. (:
"You're fat, lose some weight. I don't like you, you disgust me."
:D
@GiantUnicorn@xanga - I "lol"ed. xD
hum, well, for guys that were really into me, i usually snaked my way around it, saying i had a bf or whatever - i did have one guy that i considered a good friend turn out to have a huge crush on me, but i basically told him i wasnt into relationships and whatnot, he got the message. but luckily for me, he still stayed my friend! we're both dating other people now, too, so i'm glad everyone is happy. i really dk though, be honest, and i think it honestly depends on how they will deal with it.
Wow, I guess this is a "girls only" post, seeing as it is quite obvious that the writer wants only girls' opinions, and not guys.
Well, I'm putting in my 2 cents anyway.
I just tell girls that I'm not interested in them. I feel no need to use sugary speech or convoluted reasoning. I wouldn't want to be lent any false hope if I were in their shoes, nor would I want to be lied to or given some tired reason/excuse.
BE BLUNT! Sending the girl in circles will just hurt your friendship.. that is, if she`s the type who believes in "being friends after being rejected."
Six simple words."I'm not gay, but I'll learn."
@GiantUnicorn@xanga - Excellent.
I find that my favorite way of hinting to a guy that I don't like him is talking about other guy friends often in front of him. If he asks if I'm free on such-and-such day, I'll tell him "no sorry, I'm hanging out with __(male friend)__. Or I'll do things in front of him like talk to my girlfriends about how some guy is really attractive or smart or cute.
..I really don't like being direct.
I have a lot of pride, and I HATE rejection so much more than other people do. I think my favorite way of being rejected would be indirect, like the way I mentioned above. Having a guy tell me to my face "I'm not interested in you" would be too harsh for my liking.
just be honest with me and tell me straight out. no bullshit, no sugarcoating. i can handle it, i have thick skin.
eat hearts!!
From one of the above
take a leaf out of Barney Stinson's book
six words
'you look fat in those jeans'
nah just kidding
honesty works... or you could just awkwardly talk less to them
just be super straight forward. i did this recently, actually. it was so awkward! i was hanging out with a guy, and he asked me something along the lines of us going out.. i didn't want to lead him on so i was completely honest (for once in my life, i didn't lie or beat around the bush). i told him as nicely as i could that i thought he was a cool guy and everything but that i didn't want anything with anyone at the time.
he hasn't talked to me since. haha, it hurt my feelings at first but i just acted like it didn't bother me. i still said hi to him, in passing when i saw him, but now i don't even do that. it's weird. :( but that's the worst that can happen!
if you put this straight forward, for me, that' ok! this is decided by nature of this girl, i think~ maybe you can told her you are a nice girl but i want to be your good friends all my life you know sometims the love relationship will not last long.good luck for you!
TaylorMade R9 Fairway Wood TaylorMade Burner Plus Iron Set
I won't lie, girls usually take it a lot harder than guys do. (From my experience). I would just be honest, but gentle.
Invite her to friendly stuff with a lot of people -- not couples, or else she may think they're group dates.
The worst reaction I've ever gotten was a guy telling me, basically, "Fine, then I'm cutting you out of my life because I never wanted to be /friends/ with you. I started talking to you because I wanted to date you and since that's over, so are we." It was all very immature, but he came around in a few weeks.
the best way is to be honest. if a girl can't handle it, that's her problem, not yours and you'll be glad to be done with her. if you can't handle the stress of giving a girl uncomfortable information, you shouldn't be dating.
@Sgt_Pepper13@xanga - LOL so badd
gimme a reallllly big hint and i'd back off.
i'd be upfront about it. depending on the girl, i'll use a different tactic, if she appears to have low self-esteem, i'll probably sugar-coated it. whereas if she's got high self-esteem, chances are she'll be strong enough to take it. the high self-esteem girls don't tend to like bs. the low self-esteem ones might not buy your sugar-coated bs, but if it's worded honestly, then it might be okay. if you know any of her friends, you could try informing her friends about it just before you tell her.
and imo, texting/e-mailing is okay if you've only been with each other not so long. but if it's close close, i suggest face to face or even a call. if you haven't been in a date, then ignoring should be fine.
btw, i'm no expert. whether or not it works, i don't know. but yeah, it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion. your parents might know a few things about it. maybe try your friends too.
if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
Say "this isn't working out for me"...or here is code that most of us actually DO understand...
at the end of a date..."I'll call you SOMETIME"....yeah, that's a kiss off. And then of course, DON'T call.
Looking bored during a date, eye rolling over things she says, etc...will let her know that the end is in sight, these may come off as rude, but little things mean a lot. It's nice to be able to see the writing on the wall.
about staying friends...don't count on that. I wouldn't bring it up at all, in fact. If it happens, cool, but don't ask for it or count on it. It doesn't take the sting out of the situation.
There really isn't any way to do this that isn't awkward...that's life, kudos for asking though
Just ignore her texts and calls, she'll get bored eventually. That, or sleep with her mum.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
Just tell her straight-forward that you simply think that you're better off as friends. Don't give her any mixed messages either, don't answer her call or see her. She will get the hint sooner or later. Rejection is hard, but it's better to nip it in the bud now then to have her become obsessed.