Tonight came as a big surprise to me. My boyfriend and I were talking back and forth through text message, having a normal conversation about things, when all of a sudden I got a text from him asking if I could see myself starting a family with him someday?
I was shocked at first, and instantly got butterflies in my stomach, is this for real? This man wants to actually start a family with me someday and spend possibly the rest of his life with me? I replied back telling him that "of course I could see myself starting a family with you someday" because obviously I don't want to think of a day with him not being part of my life. He replied back saying that he felt the same way and that he truly loved me so much.
This is a big first for me, I have never in a relationship had a guy tell me that he wants to start a life together and someday be the father of my children.
Girls out there, how would you react if your SO said this to you? Guys, have you ever told this to a girl you were dating?
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Comments (53)
I would be baffled since we've talked about this stuff and we really don't want kids and can't see ourselves getting married. I'd actually be a little frightened and turned off. I'm 5 years younger than my SO, just because he's ready to settle down doesn't mean I am.
But if by the time I'm 80 and we're not married we're gonna marry each other.
hahaha
:]
it depends on how long we've been together. i made the mistake in my last relationship by talking about marriage (all the way down to our kid's names) WAYY too early and i'm affected by it to this day. honestly, the idea of the conversation makes me feel a little sick because of it.
but if we were together for some time, i probably would react the same way you did.
either way, i hope you and your SO are happy :)
Wow. I've never had a guy say anything so committed to me, even though I want it. I think if it ever actually happened I'd probably die from a happiness induced heart attack.
I have told this to my two past girlfriends because I actually did. Both ended up breaking it off from me (not because of that, but because one wanted to experience college and the other just wanted to be single). While it's a good sign to hear (sometimes a little scary for others), remember not to lose sight of what's happening right now. It may be the goal for you two, but you have to lay down the tracks first before you can reach your destination. Congrats on finding a genuine guy and good luck to you both. :)
@laytexduckie@xanga - well said.
That's super cute! But when my boyfriend try to say all that mushy crap I try to avoid the conversation or make a joke out of it. LOL doesn't mean I don't feel the same way I just don't like the topic itself.
I think when you end up with a guy you can see yourself with for the rest of the life, these conversations feel so natural. My fiance now- whenever we brought up kids, it didn't feel awkward. And now that we're actually in the planning stages (like, ok, maybe we'll start trying to get pregnant in about three years, or after I get my degree), it's great! Planning a family is fun!
If it was the right guy, I'd be so SO happy. But if it wasn't, I'd freak out and run.
Congratulations to you! :) Hope everything continues to go well.
I don't agree to get into a deemed serious relationship with someone if I cannot fathom such a thought as an end goal. If you cannot imagine yourself in that sense with that person, maybe you shouldn't be with that person? Not saying you should think that way from the get-go, but as a relationship progresses that idea should be able to grow stronger. Sometimes in the beginning, such a thought would be unimagineable, but through time, that idea can change (of course if it's been 5 years or so and after all you've worked for and tried to work on with each other to make your relationship work, some things just cannot be).
Agreed with @laytexduckie@xanga - Lay down the tracks, or as I say, the solid foundation.
I just had the "TALK" with my BF about moving in with me. He was shocked and now his brain must be in flames! lol
awww :) i think it's really serious when a guy says it, girls are more likely to say those things than guys are and i love it when a guy gets to that place.
if a guy and i were dating for a short while i don't think it would make me happy, it would freak me out...
but my bf and i discuss those things because it's been quite some time and it actually warmed my heart to hear him say that he can see himself being with me forever... sometimes we even argue about our future kids. lmao people might think we're crazy but i think it's cute.
I would be in an awesome mood for the rest of the day.
awwww that is so cute! you're so lucky!
I think that would've been a lot more meaning if it WEREN'T over text messages...
Hmm, that is well nice. OR he could be feeling guilty about something. Probably not though - I'm just thinking like a man.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
i'd be happy. but yea it should be done in person
my first and only boyfriend (who i've been dating going on 2 years) told me that he loved me and wanted to start a family with me the second month into our relationship.
him being my first boyfriend, i was nervous, yet really flattered and ecstatic. I of course feel the same way, and we plan to get married after graduation.
A lot of these comments have made me smile :]
I'm a sap though. But I'm not quite sure what my future will hold; he claims a plan, but who knows.I've did it before. It's good to know what the other person think about to see where the relationship is headed. If the other person avoids the topic, that person is not ready to see a long future with you. You would need to evaluate the relationship then.
@FallenReign@xanga - Same here... :)
I am being continually told that I'm the one he wants to be with, and I must say, the feeling is mutual. It is so special, especially when he says it out of his own accord... I hope you two will be happy :)@who_is_toby@xanga - Ditto :] it's like, he won't tell me exactly what he has in store for me, but I trust that he'd take care of me.
If it feels like the right time and the right person, what's there to do but be happy?
@ithinkkican@xanga - I agree totally, but we have now discussed in face to face and his feelings towards it have not changed
We are moving in together next month into our own place, which i think is so much nicer then him moving into mine, or me moving into his. We both want to finish school first and then start with the real family planning once we are both settled in a good job
@who_is_toby@xanga - Aww, hope things work out great for you are your SO also :)
@Purrty_Pink@xanga - it definitly is more serious when a guy says it, because i think girls fall faster then guys do and we always have this image of the perfect relationship, where we are going to marry them and have kids, but with guys, it really takes a lot more then just a butterfly feeling in their stomach to openly admit to their SO that they want to be with them for the rest of their lives.
@WhenFaithandFearCollide@xanga - I was very happy all day, and still am :)
I would probably write it off because, unfortunately, my last 2 boyfriends have said they wanted to start a family with me. The last one bought me a promise ring and would talk about us being married with kids all the time. Then something happened (probably he freaked himself out about it) and he started acting very distant and we've since broken up...
Of course, I could just be a giddy in love person for the next person to say that to me. Who knows really. haha