Tuesday, 16 February 2010
-
Who Would You Rather Be: The Mistress or The Wife?
Lately, I’ve been thinking about monogamy. It really started from this xanga post here.
I don’t personally believe in monogamy, I believe everyone cheats or is being cheated on. Just my opinion.
Last night I was watching Coco Avant Channel and it sprang a very interesting question: Would you rather be the mistress or the wife?
Ms. Gabrielle Channel apparently knew her whole life she would never marry because her mother married for love, and was consistently cheated on. She knew she wanted to be the mistress, which she was, to the love of her life, who was married to someone else, and he genuinely loved her too. It got me thinking what other women would rather be, I assumed most would rather be the wife, but now I'm not so sure.
So who would you rather be: the mistress or the wife?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: littlebug_e@xanga
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 2057 Comments: 0 112 View all posts by littlebug_e@xanga
Comments (113)
The wife because I can leave. Too much workload to be the mistress, and plus everyone will be rooting against you.
Personally I believe in monogamy because some of us do take relationships seriously enough not to give into lust. So my wife will always come first. No mistress for me.
the wife. then i would know it wasn't my fault, plus the awful stigma wouldn't be attached to me.
and i think your beliefs may be a bit...presumptuous. there are plenty of us left who still believe in monogamy.
I would rather be married to someone that had the same values as I did. My own personal opinion.
That's easy for me...the mistress. I had my heart stepped on by the man I love because I gave him everything (and he didn't even cheat). But in my experience as the mistress I've gotten what I wanted without getting hurt.
why even marry if your husband will take a mistress. fuck that. not every marriage ends in one cheating or even leaving.
What a depressing question. I'd rather be polyamorous.
I hate being the mistress. Absolutely hate it. And the wife would be no better- I wouldn't be able to settle for being either. As the mistress, I'd leave him. As the wife, I'd confront him and become one of those awesome couples who allow each other to date multiple people.
Defining the type of person you are can SOMETIMES pigeonhold you. Mistress, to me, implies you care only about your feelings. That the point of the "relationship" is more sexual than emotional. @seriously_meredith@xanga actually helps prove this, " But in my experience as the mistress I've gotten what I wanted without getting hurt." So there is a lack of responsibility. And that's kind of sad because everyone deserves happiness and its as if one or two instances in your lives completely shut you off from it.
Give what you want...if you don't want the best for yourself than giving the least of what you have will get you there...
The wife! I've been the mistress and you can't do anything in public.
You only think that way because you're a whore or not pretty enough to keep somebody.
Not every man or woman is a cheater. I'd rather be the wife. I never did understand the appeal of sneaking, lying & cheating with someone. In the end, they cheater either goes back to the SO, or gets dumped & in the end the 2 cheaters have nothing. Why waste your time being a side item in someone's life? There is someone out there who will love you for all that you are.
The wife. I don't have the heart to destroy other people's marriages.
@pawnshop_heart@xanga - I like your answer! Also, I think too many people get caught up in the fantasy of romances & dont focus on the realities. Not everything is a bed of roses & the the vows do say "for better or for WORSE". Once things get too hard, they look for ways to escape or make life exciting.
I think when I get married, I'll reverse the order & say "for worse or better" because I know there will be alot of storms in life but having a good partner makes it easier to get through them. =D
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - You're right. A lot of people (it seems) just want a relationship when it's a happy one instead of working through all the bumps/bad times. That's not even remotely a reality. It's never going to be 100% happy 100% of the time.
What a stupid post. This kind of relationship only happens in "Unresponsible, irrational and unstable teen like adults" If you are a real adult then you know the benefits of being together and ONLY with eachother. Personally I don't even feel inclined to marry. Kinda pointless for me. Me and my SO don't need rings and paper to make us happy. So neither. I will be the happy SO.
I would rather be the wife and for there to be no mistress.
Not everyone is cheating or being cheated on, like my parents they've been together for over 20 and never cheated on each other. I know for sure because they spent every second of the day with each other.
My answer to the question, the mistress because I don't think I'm going to ever get married. I don't think that I can be monogamous, I get bored to easily. And love is a gift and only a few people are special enough to receive it. So, since my parents received that gift, I don't think I'll be able to get it because, it needs to be spread around the world, it's not passed down from parent to child.
Just a fact, about half of couples cheat. People posting above are way too naive.
i believe in monogamy and i know for a fact that not everyone cheats. so im going to marry my fiance who feels the same and i'll happily be the wife since the mistress will never exist. =)
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - The first step is, don't fall for the jerk that has the potential to cheat to begin with. If you can't avoid a relationship with a cheater, then you can't be trusted to make intelligent important decisions or hold an intelligent conversation with someone else who knows better.
@seriously_meredith@xanga - and what is it that you wanted?
@ShimmerBodyCream2@xanga - umm, i hope you're kidding? i agree that the OP seems a bit cynical toward relationships, but that's no reason for nasty name-calling. if you are kidding, i apologize.
@untainted_love_for_her@xanga - ditto
@EarthsAzureLight@xanga - ok, half. means neither side (the "everyone cheats" side and the "no one cheats" side) is more or less correct than the other. also, there's a good possibility that people on this site, who are fascinated by relationships and put a lot of time, thought and effort into their relationship, are cheated on less than the general population.
just sayin'
i'd rather be the mistress. i'd rather be less invested and less attached in a relationship, so if something goes wrong, it won't be hard for me to part.
@NadoAngel@xanga - All the fun without the emotional attachments. Sort of back fired on me though because I ended up falling for him. I've lived and learned now and it's been 10 years since that relationship ended.
@ShimmerBodyCream2@xanga - Yeah, that makes sense. Because the biggest reason people cheat is because their SO isn't pretty enough...