What do you do about bad kissers?
I've kissed about five guys, but I've only like made out with two (or three depending on your definition of make out).
Now, I don't think I'm bad personally, but I'm certainly not great. But to be honest, I think I'm pretty good. (bad kissers probably think the same thing haha). I was just thinking, if I were kissing somebody who thought I was bad, would they tell me?
A week ago I was kissing my friend (who I think has never made out with a girl before), and he kissed pretty fast. I mean really fast. Without thinking, I told him to slow down. He immediately got the wrong idea and thought I meant with our relationship. I then had to awkwardly tell him I meant he was kissing too fast and it was embarrassing for the two of us. The first time my last boyfriend and I made out, he swirled his tongue around in circles in my mouth. That was an awkward conversation.
So what do I do? Do I tell bad kissers they're bad? If so how? And how do I know if somebody's hinting that I'm a bad kisser? Does it change if it's just a hookup as opposed to a relationship? What are the rules to this?
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Comments (79)
I've never actually told the guy himself that he was a bad kisser because I'm too nice, although I've definitely bitched about it afterwords to my friends.
Generally speaking, if a guy's a bad kisser, I just won't kiss him. I think that's a pretty obvious hint that maybe he needs to work on something. About the only bad kisser I've continued to kiss was my most recent ex, but I kept them to a minimum because he was really pretty terrible at it.
yes tell them they are bad ... because chances are it won't last and he'll remember it come his next make out session and you'll save the next girl some humilation!
I guess it begs the question - is the first kiss really a deal breaker?! I think it should because its the first sign of (sexual) compatibility.
If you like the guy why not teach him?
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - wow! lol I've never personally experienced a bad kisser (experienced bad other things but not kissers - but maybe their lips have been around the "block" lol).
@Thumper49047@xanga - Consider yourself lucky. I've had everything from getting my face swallowed to being choked out by tongue to teeth scraping.
I'm getting the feeling that you're young. So if you think someone's not kissing how you like it, have no shame and tell them. I'm not sure if they tell you, but you should be able to discuss this kind of stuff without hurting each other's feelings - especially if you're both new at this.
I had this dilemma in high school. No one was kissing me like I wanted them to and I thought I was a bad kisser. Then I met my ex who kissed exactly as I would want someone to kiss me. We were together for a year and a half. Then we broke up. I dated a little, kissed some guys - that by definition, were good kissers. However, they just didn't kiss me like I wanted them to. I told them, we communicated and still, nothing, no sparks flying. Then I met my current boyfriend over two years ago. We kissed and while it may sound silly - it was magical. He kissed me exactly as I wanted him, even better than my first boyfriend. I think it depends on who you're kissing and how well they match you.
So just talk it out. If he gets too sensitive, just tell him you're new at this too.
I've never been told I was a bad kisser, but there has only been about one occasion that someone told me I was a really good kisser, and another one that someone said they "missed my lips" after a few days of not seeing me... it's kind of awkward to think about, but I do get worried that I'm not good because I don't get told all the time that I'm a good kisser, or a bad one. I think people really have a right to know if they are good or bad, but at the same time it hurts if someone tells you you're bad (but it helps you do better in the near future) I think that if you really like the person and you have a relationship with a lot of trust, you can calmly talk to them about it. On that same note, practice does make perfect, so teaching one another is the best way to go. Plus, there are many ways to actually show someone how to kiss without talking about it, and eventually they do catch on. Like, for instance, if you don't like someone swirling their tongue in your mouth, why not use your tongue to cease the swirling action? It sounds weird, but it's definitely possible. Even so, talking about it signifies good communication in a relationship.
well if you really like him and he's not that great, then you can teach him :D but if you're not interested like that, then let the next girl deal with it.
my last ex said i was the best girl he ever kissed, but one guy blew me off because i wasn't very good :L i guess it depends on the guy's preference.
for whatever reason, whenever i kiss someone, they always adapt to how i kiss, so i have never had a bad kisser.
i think it may be that i'm really aggressive when i kiss, so they always let me lead. maybe you should try it.
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - Jesus lol that sounds horrible!
@another_diamond_in_the_rough@xanga -
That's my idea.
I'm bad at my job, bad in the kitchen, but in bed - but I KNOW I'm a good kisser. I think honesty is the best policy with kissing. Tell them and help them improve.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
The last guy i dated, practically shoved his tongue down my throat like i was going to disappear or something. I found it weird, but i never told him. Would of been really awkward to say lol. When he didnt do that it was fine... Sometimes i thought i was going to be swallowed hahahaha I dont think im a good kisser, and no ones told me that i am or i am not so im just going on my gut feeling
http://mingle2.com/blog/view/bad-kissers
^check this out
"Good" or "bad" is just an opinion. I've heard people describe their perfect ideal, and think of how much I would despise it personally. It does just depend on whom is kissing whom/relativity. But you should tell the person what you like or dislike if you care about them. No one is a "bad" kisser, unless they fail to adapt. And I don't think there is any way to tell if someone did or did not enjoy you unless they tell you, or avoid it after. People need to be blunt.
this should be handled just like you would with a "bad" lover. both of you need to grow together..unless its some random dude, then him being a bad kisser wouldnt even be an issue. guide him to the way you like it, and vice versa.
lmao that's like my friend now. i just told him one day, i really like you, but you suck at kissing xD but eventually he got better
everyone is different and likes different things
true, everyone is different and likes different things. I've had guys do the tounge swirl too....maybe its just me, but it was more like trying to pull my tounge out of a tornado. That's just not hot, plus it was waaaaay to sloppy. Umbrella---er--check please!
look, if he is absolutely terrible at it, it's not a big deal (especially if you're young). All you have to do is initiate it. If you want to make out with tongue, put some candy in your mouth, and tell the guy to get it from your mouth into theirs, and play back and forth. It helps them, believe it or not.
But really, I don't see the big deal. Maybe that's because I've only kissed and made out with one guy (my boyfriend of almost two years). I guess I don't really know if he's a horrible kisser or not, but it's not like it matters because I love kissing him, and he loves kissing me.
i try to lead the bad kisser in a good direction, but if they don't follow, after a while i tell them and end things.
even though i havent slept with more than 3 guys i;ve kissed more guys than i can count,and have a rep for being a great kisser and a good teacher...but u can lead the horse to the water - u can't drink for it.
I've kissed three different guys, two of them making out.
And I'm still afraid I'm a bad kisser!The last guy did the circles thing too.I was nervous, because I'm actually attracted to him, whereas the first make out was just this guy friend of mine.I got nervous and embarrassed and kept stopping - I'm sure he thinks I'm ridiculous.
I hate my life.
What exactly is a "bad kisser"?
Anyway, if you don't like what they're doing, you don't have to tel them they're no good at kissing, maybe just suggest not doing whatever particular thing that yuo're not going for.
'Why don't you try this... Instead?' And, then, when he does something right, immediately compliment him, and be like, 'Ooh, I liked that.'