Looks, brains or personality? If you could only choose one for your SO, which would it be?
Yes, I know people out there will say, "Why can't I have my cake and eat it too?" To start off, you can't have both, because once you've eaten it, you no longer possess a cake but a mass of flour, sugar, eggs and digestive fluid.
Anyway, let's face the facts. Either they're good-looking, intelligent, charismatic, or taken. (At this point, some jerk always points out that there is still the "none of the above" case, but let's ignore them.) If you're one of the lucky few, then you obviously don't have to make a decision, but I'm sure not everyone is that lucky.
As a guy, I'll admit that I lean towards looks. That way, our kids will be smart and beautiful.** However, the truth its once you hit sixty, all the women more or less look the same: kinda gray and wrinkly. Additionally, I'll admit I'd get bored of a girl who couldn't hold an interesting conversation with me.
I know I haven't quite answered my own question, but I leave it to you Xanga community: which would you prefer and why?
**Yes an allusion to the Big Bang Theory.
For those curious minds: Yes both pics are of the same Becki Newton from Ugly Betty.
For those critical minds: Yes, I should actually have three pics, but *you* go and try to find a single pic with the same women as a beauty, a nerd and a nice girl.
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Comments (96)
brains.
My boyfriend is good-looking, extremely intelligent, unbelievably charismatic (that's what first drew me to him), and talented in a bunch of things (writing, music, voice acting, sex, etc.). So I really do get to have my cake and eat it, too.
Personality.
To me, it's personality is more important, I need to be able to have fun with them, laugh, interesting conversation, opinions, thoughts, whatever. That sounds like it's dipping into the department of brains, but honestly, that's not what's important. I'm much more interested in how/why people think the way they do then really, how smart they are. I mean, I don't want a doorstop, but they don't have to be a chemistry major or something. Looks are... looks? I dunno, I find looks are what initially attracts anyone to anyone else, and not just necessarily romantics; some people just look more approachable in different aspects. But it's not the saving grace for a relationship.
I don't think I'll ever be able to settle for just one of these. If people were actually so one dimensional, I'd probably end up single forever.
The most important of these, to me, is probably personality. If I'm going to love this person, I should probably like them, right?
I think that I need a balance of all three. I am not going to ask for someone who is unbelievably sexy with Einstein intelligence and is also a stand-up comedian.
But I would appreciate someone who can participate in an intelligent conversation, has an ok personality, is passably decent in bed, and at least of an average physical attractiveness. I don't think that I am asking for too much here.
Brains please.I can date Jonah Hill if he can do math like that guy from Numbers.
personality.
A guy can have brains or be incredibly good-looking and still be a boring tool.
Personality, obviously. No one wants a stupid douche bag.
Though my boyfriend is definitely good looking and smart, it's the personality that drew me in and sealed the deal.
That's a difficult question, but the truth is, if they have any brains at all, they've got to have some kind of good personality (unless they're total jerk-offs who decide they're smarter than everybody) and they'll be smart enough to know how to take care of themselves (thus possibly good-looking). Normally I go for the smart guy (or girl).
personality
mix of 3. The world isn't black or white, it's shades of gray
I can't choose just one. I'd never date someone I didn't find physically attractive (I'd feel guilty thinking of someone else while we fucked... if I even fucked them). If we don't match senses of humor or anything else in the personality department, I'd rather spend my time with my dick in my hands. And finally, stupidity is the biggest turn off. I'm not asking for a genius, but I don't think it's a coincidence that every girl I've dated graduated high school with 3.7's or higher and goes to a great college.
There's a reason even Einstein had problems with love and relationships. These types of questions are impossible.
@chanchina@xanga - I agree. This was a stupid question a little, because if I meet someone and they only have the looks or only the brains, I won't settle for just one.
I think they should have brains definitely. Having good looks is just a bonus. If it's there, great - if not, no biggie.
I think I'd have to choose brain or personality.
I'm convinced that my kids will be beautiful either way.
Though, I'm not going to settle for someone completely hideous.
Personality...I think having a very interesting conversation is just priceless (especially of you're going to live with them for the rest of your life!)
i have all 3 to some extent and my boyfriend too. sucks for people that have to settle for just one of those options.
personality. Looks I've dealt with and brains I've dealt with. W/o personality, he's as good as the next guy.
Personality with brains. lol
With someone, both can attract me with either personality or looks. Either by one or the other first. If its by looks, i will be sure to find out more about them if im that interested to get to know them.
It actually just matters that they make you feel special and treat you right.
personality! but, realistically, just one of the three wouldn't be enough!
If I had to choose one, I'd choose personality. But really they're all interrelated
A person's personality influences the way they look. A person's looks says a lot about how intelligent they are. And an intelligent person will probably have a personality to back it up.
They're like a really annoying, slightly disfunctional at times, triangle
Personality, please! Looks fade as we all age, and eventually we all resemble raisins lol. Brains are nice, but I know I have that end covered, and some people get all high-and-mighty about their intelligence and turn into jerks. I know I can be a bitch sometimes, so I need someone kind and patient who can mellow me out :)
Talent is the biggest turn on for me. I always fancy politicians or comedians.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
Meh, I'd have to go with personality, although preferably personality and brains. I'm too shallow to say that looks don't factor into the equation at all, but if someone possesses a personality I'm attracted to in addition to being able to prove they have something going on behind that personality, looks don't matter as much.
Questions like these always bother me though. I can't think of a single person that I know that only has one of these qualities, so why bother putting up a hypothetical question for a scenario that in all probability would never exist?
Personality. Brains is a close second haha