Sunday, 14 February 2010
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The Oral Question
I'm a sexually active 20-something and while I'm pretty okay with most things, there's something about oral sex that just rubs me the wrong way.
I don't like to give it or receive it. So it's not a selfish "I want you to do me but I'm not going to do you." The thought of bodily functions and my mouth coming into contact just grosses me out.
Whenever I've brought this up to a friend they always tell me "You'll get used to it" or "It's not so bad, you don't think about it after awhile" I'd love to hear other thoughts on this.
Is this completely childish? Is there anyone else out there like me? And for guys, I've gotten away with it til now, but is this something that could potentially be a deal breaker in future relationships?
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- From: beautifulfool@lovelyish
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Comments (118)
No, you're not the only one. I never understood how it's even considered sanitary.
And for the record, any guy who refuses to date you because of that is a selfish douchebag who only cares about sex, his own needs, and not you.
At 20, I felt the same way. But by 26...well, it's just not so bad. Is it my most favorite? No. But it can be good if you're with the right person...
...Who practices excellent hygiene.
-Katie
I once had a housemate who reckoned he would NEVER give oral or receive it. Thought it was morally wrong. Ha. To be honest, I'm not that keen on getting blow jobs - they don't do that much for me. But apparently I'm a rare breed.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
take a shower together first? It is amazing, you will be missing out...both giving and receiving
You know what will help you, hun?
The fact that your mouth is by far dirtier than your genitals, unless you have STDs.
eh. dont worry, im not really looking forward to any oral sex. i mean like, it sceeves me out. yuck gross and ew. -_-
yea so im totally 100% agrreable with you! =D
and it wont hurt your future relationships. i mean like cmon, if a guy doesnt respect your not wanting to do oral, he doesnt deserve you cuz hes selfish ya know?
you are you, and you dont ever change for aaanyybody =]
im a guy =D so im sure there are toehr guys out there like me that will one day randomly meet you =P
Ugh. I'm the same way. It grosses me out so much. Thankfully, my boyfriend doesn't mind so much that it is neither given nor recieved. However, it is something that I would eventually maybe like to try, seeing as he wants it, but I just can't bring myself to do it.
honestly, i love oral sex. and it's not childish at all! some people just don't like it. don't feel like you should be obligated to give/receive. if you don't like it, ya don't like it!
This is understandable.
I don't mind giviing oral but I feel too weird receiving it unless I'm fresh from the shower. I do hate it when the guy wants a LOT of it. I knew a guy who wanted to choke and gag me with it and enjoyed lots of drool and spit and sloppiness. That groses me out. If I don't enjoy what I'm doing, I'm not gonna do it. I'm sure there are tons of guys who aren't turned on by it either. No worries.
If someone truly likes you they will be ok with it. It's not like you are saying that you don't like sex. For the record though, your mouth is dirtier than your vagina or his penis, so the germs really shouldn't be a problem unless you're dating a complete slob.
I cant stand it either. It completely grosses me out and i wont ever do it. I've received before but i cant say that i loved it. I will never ask for it, nor will i give a blow job to a guy, even if he IS my boyfriend. One guy i dated tried to pressure me into it but i said uhh no dont think so and after about another month of him asking and asking, i just broke it off. I WILL find a guy that feels the same way i do someday! =)
I thought it was super gross until I started dating my boyfriend. Then he gave me oral and I started to understand that he really liked getting it as well, so I went ahead and tried it, and whatever stigma I had about grossness was totally obliterated by how much he obviously enjoyed it:) Now it's no problem and it's a really fun part of foreplay.
Eh, some people just don't like oral. I wasn't a fan of giving head until I was 18 and it took me until I was 20 to be completely comfortable and more than happy to give it. Getting oral never bothered me though.
Giving or getting oral should never really be a deal breaker in a relationship unless someone's being a total doucher. If you like someone enough, it shouldn't matter all that much. Besides, there are plenty of guys that aren't really all the into it...one guy in particular I dated briefly didn't even really like me touching him sexually unless it was with my naughty bits. Plus, you never know how you might feel in a few years, especially if you're with someone you really care about. Something that might have totally grossed you out previously might be something you're totally down for exploring with your SO.
I think it's hot.
But I've never given it or received it. So basically I'm just saying it's a hot concept.
Both ways it's fun!
no, my friend is just like you, its not even like youre overthinking it, its your decision. some people think its gross, some people think its normal. dont feel bad about it.
IM EXACTLY THE SAME.
I've met people that just won't do it! I'm all for it!!!
shit. i gave my boyfriend head for the first time today. and it was the first time i ever did it. and i trust him so i wasnt nervous. but like, i love pleasing my man, and i know he feels the same. so i didnt mind it. he isnt huge either, which i think makes a difference. if your man is huge, your jaw will prolly cramp up. but i was fine. and he tasted very good, as a matter of fact. and it only lasted a few minutes including him finishing. so no big deal! =)
and im sure you can find someone else out there that respects your thoughts & may not happen to like it either!
I'll refuse if they haven't showered or something like that, but I just really enjoy how much my boyfriend enjoys it. I don't think that you're childish at all. Any guy that turns it into a deal breaker is only thinking with his dick.. so you'd be better off without him anyway.
I am not into that. Increases the chances of tumors due to different strains of HPV. But now with vaccines it reduces the virus and hence reduces transmission but still not that intooral.... People have gotten fungal infection in their mouths because of "oral" and seen other STI's in their mouth or throat. After working with cases of patients with such a problem I really, REALLY won't want my partner (well future partner), to have to do those things nor would I do it myself.
Everyone should be seeing their Doctors a minimum of one year. To check for STI's, for females see a gyno. Remember there are many sexual transmitted infections (diseases) that show no signs and symptoms (some of them too late when they do show symptoms)
There's something intimate [to me at least] about giving or getting it. And since I enjoy getting it so much, I don't mind giving it all. It's all out of love. But that's just me. Obviously if you don't like it [I have a friend like that] then that's just not for you.
Not selfish at all. It is selfish for your partner to force you or to make you feeling guilty/bad/childish.selfish for not wanting to do it. Do not do what you do not want to do. Everyone has different preferences in sex. Your partner has to respect that.
Well, as some of our fellow xangans pointed out, when you're with the right person who's got excellent personal hygiene, there's no real reason to still find it all that icky. Having a shower before attempting it helps.
I give it and enjoy to do so because my man enjoys it immensely. He does reciprocate although sometimes it feels very very ticklish (I'm a naturally ticklish person, so sue me). I think for me, seeing the sheer arousal and knowing I'm the only one who's ever given him that much pleasure makes it pleasurable for me.