I went from being dateless on Valentine's day, to having three options.
I've been in love with the first girl for years, and we were really serious (we've talked about marriage) but she left me for another guy, and she fluctuates with liking me and then liking him ad infinitum. It seems like she's only putting interest now because I have other options, and she's afraid she'll lose me for good. I'm afraid I'll lose her for good to the other guy if I don't choose her. I also think that she won't do anything physical, at least not unless we somehow get back together at some point.
Girl 2 was my first real crush, and we were both really into each other a long time ago. Well, that is, before I messed things up (trust me, it was really bad). This is the first time in years that she's been interested in me, and she's indicated that this is probably just a one night thing. I'm afraid she'll lose interest for good if I don't choose her.
Girl 3 is just some girl I've known for a while, but have never gotten close to. She's really flakey, but she seems to like me. I'm not really sure where I stand with her, and she may have an incorrect image of me built up in her mind, but I think it could turn into a relationship. I'm afraid that if I choose her and then don't live up to her image, she'll get turned off.
I get the feeling girls 1 and 3 (and maybe girl 2 but I don't think so) are expecting this big extravagantly expensive Valentine's day from me, and I don't think I can make that happen a day before Valentine's day. If I choose wrong, I'll become self-loathing and probably completely broke by Monday. I'm leaning towards girl 2 because I'm hoping she isn't expecting too much from me, but I could be completely wrong and I'm afraid she'll get turned off just as easily if I don't do something big.
What do I do? How do I choose?
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Comments (23)
-sigh-
dude... Is monogamy gonna be a problem?
Choose someone you really care about and believe that she is the better one for you. You are going to have some loss here. Choose carefully.
Honestly? Girl one is jerking you around, girl two wants to use you (and probably wants to make you pay for whatever it is you did to mess things up), and girl three has unrealistic expectations of who you are and what you'll do for her. I wouldn't choose any of them and just give yourself a Valentine's Day present. None of these girls are worth your time if they're treating you like this.
-Katie
@akatiegirl - I totally agree
@akatiegirl - I think you hit the nail on the head exactly
How's the 3rd one flakey? At some point or another, it's the only way to find out if she likes you..
Girl one obviously has a back up man. Girl two is probably going to make it a one night thing.
Go with 3 for now. She should be smart enough to understand that you've got flaws.
@akatiegirl -
Listen to this girl. She knows what's up.
Just do something small with all of them. Don't be sleazy and dishonest. But none of them sound like they're very good to you, so you might as well at least show them that YOU have other options, as well as keeping your options open. If you want to pick just 1, I'd go with 3.
Keep your options open and don't choose any of them, I know that I wouldn't.
@akatiegirl - Yep.
you could give your mom a valentine's day gift.
Eh, I'd say for valentines day go with 2. 3 might end up being crazy. 1 has another lover.
@chanchina@xanga -
'
Loved your comment about monogamy Hi Fives chanchina... sorry for calling you creepy
@Prof_Padula@xanga - what? you called me creepy? wtf? O_o
I like how everyone thinks about how the girls are playing around with him but how about the concept that he has feelings for all 3 regardless of how little or a lot, or how long or how short the memories are with the person. I don't think he's thinking clearly. He has problems just to commit to one girl in his mind.
But man, skip #1 your the back-up guy (as said before).
#2&3 know them better and forget about this stupid holiday. Make your decision before you lose them both. (some girls might consider this being unfaithful and not trustworthy)
Yeah, go for option 4.
@Starring_Hobo89@xanga - yup yup thats the best answer
@chanchina@xanga - On one level, I agree, and I can see your point. On the other hand...well, it isn't like any of them have asked for a monogamous relationship with him...two happen to have asked for quite the opposite. So I guess that's why I didn't really factor in his inability to choose one because, well, he just hasn't gotten to that point yet. My brother was there (well, there as in dating three girls, though without all of this drama) and eventually came to that point and chose one girl. I hesitate to jump to the conclusion that he can't commit at all...he just isn't there yet.
And while that's partially why I said not to choose any of them, I still don't think any of them are good choices in the first place and he should just wait for someone better--someone he knows he'll choose over the others.
-Katie
Option 4? Stay home and eat chocolate on the couch. Or option 5? Go out with other relatively single guys. 1-3 are bad choices.
@akatiegirl - The best answer yet!
But If you really have to choose one, pick #3. Just take the risk! You never know... :D
Go with whoever is a guaranteed bang.
The first one can't make up her mind so make it up for her and leave her behind. You messed up with the second one and if you don't believe things could go back to being good again, then leave the past in the past and give the third one a chance.
3. Less history, and who cares if you lose the other two? The first obviously doesn't care about you and the second obviously doesn't care about you. #3 is the only one with true potential to care about you.
ugh. obviously youre just interested in having SOMEONE rather than a certain someone. why dont you actually see who you LIKE for a change rather than being so damn scared theyll leave you in the dark that you dont bother actually seeing them for anything but "just a girl"