Saturday, 13 February 2010
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Question of the Day: Sex, or Lack Thereof
To guys out there:
I got a question for you: do you think a relationship would last without sex? Because it seems to be that all guys seem to want in the end is sex. I'm not saying they ignore other factors like personality, and all that, but in the end it seems sex is the main point of a relationship.
So yeah, do you think your relationship would last even if you and your SO do not have sex?
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- From: Beck_ii@xanga
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Comments (135)
My relationship is going to end because I am not getting enough sex, and it's kind of damaging to get turned down for sex for months at a time.
No. Nature says you should want to fuck your partner. If a girl I'm interested in turns out to not be in sync with me physically, it isn't going to last. Or if it lasts, it isn't going to be a good time while it does.
I've been with a girl who didn't want to have sex... or much anything else for that matter. But when you date someone for a year and you can count the times you had sex on two hands, it's kind of ridiculous. Plus she was bad at blowjobs.... the fuck was I thinking?
Sex isn't all we want, but it's a crucial part of any relationship. I think the only way a relationship can last without sex is if both partners have never done it before. There may be a few exceptions, but that's the majority of the cases that I see.
I can honestly say that the cause of my divorce was my husband's lack of sexual interest (low testosterone? gay? asexual? I really don't know...he never ever had a fling and refused an open relationship...all else was pretty decent). In the end, humans need emotional and sexual intimacy.
Obviously some people make it work, such as those who stay virgins until marriage for personal or religious reasons. But I'd say if sex was a part of the relationship previously and then stopped for no explained reason, it'd be a problem. I know it would be for me, anyway!
i think sex is important for both sexes in the relationship. i think you're being a little biased in saying that it only matters to guys.
a relationship might last, but i don't think it'd be a good one...my parents have been together for 35-ish years...and they don't have sex, trust me....but theirs isn't a healthy, good relationship.
No, I don't think that one would, but I also don't think that it should.
When you enter a relationship with someone, you're expecting their sexual encounters to be exclusive to you. It seems pretty unreasonable to ask someone to let you be their sole provider of something, then just never give it.
I would not date someone that didn't have sex with me. It would drive me up a wall of sexual frustration and I would just interpret it as they aren't attracted to me/something is wrong/I can't make them happy.
@herecomesthemoon@xanga - I agree. I don't think it has mattered as much to some of my exes as it does to me.
Considering there are asexuals in the world, I'll go with yes, a relationship can last without sex. But if a couple was having sex before and then quit for some reason, I think that would be an issue.
No sex in a relationship can be unhealthy, but at the same time you don't need to have sex everytime you are with the person. My boyfriend and I only get to see each other every 2 or 3 weeks because of distance and not everytime we see eachother do we have sex, although when we do, the sex is amazing hahaha
Nooooooo. I mean, if a guy is that horny - he has his hand. Lack of sex is not a valid excuse to break up with someone...as my boyfriend says it, it's not the sex that matters the most, it's just a bonus. As in, if it happens, great, but if we don't get to do it, we won't freak out.
If you're not in sync with your partner physically, then yes the relationship is doomed to fail. Some people see sex as an expression of love.
my girlfriend and i don't have sex. we've been dating for 3 years. granted, we do everything else (not EVERYTHING else... just oral), but we're saving the special one for when we get married. and we're not going to live together until we get married. where's the fun in getting married if nothing changes besides your taxes?
Only if your values are on the same page.
Like if it were for religious reasons.
Other than that, no.
I don't think it should last either. @lewk@xanga is right.
I find the older a couple gets, the more the woman wants sex and the bloke doesn't. Also, I lasted three and a half years in a fairly sexless relationship. However, I had very strong wrists at the end of it.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
Girls are the same fucking way, dumbass. ALL HUMANS CRAVE SEX.
@Cest_LaxVie@xanga - Sex is an important part to a healthy relationship whether you or your boyfriend want to admit it or not. We're built for it. It's not healthy to starve yourself from natural instincts.
Depends on the couple, but it's certainly possible. Some guys actually do get more out of a relationship than just sex alone. Things like: a partner in crime, friendship, confidante, etc. Don't get me wrong, sex is great. But without the other stuff that comes with a relationship, it's kind of meaningless.
@melandollic@xanga - Haha, no. I won't even attempt to say that I don't *need* sex, because that'll just be an obvious lie. And I think I can say the same for my boyfriend. I don't say starve yourself sexually, but I don't think it can be a deal-breaker. It's like that woman who posted a while ago about how her husband was unable to have sex with her due to some accident. Is she going to leave her husband simply because there's lack of sex in their marriage? No, because she didn't marry him for the sex.
Do we need and love sex? Heck yes. But if I truly love the other person, I'm not going to dump them if we won't have sex for a while [whether it's because there's not enough time or because one of them is simply less horny].
So while sex is a very important factor in a relationship, there's other factors to consider. I think a relationship could last without sex - I don't know how long or how easily, but I think it could. But that's just my opinion.
You've been around the wrong guys then. The guys that I've been with say they would not care if we went without sex. They would be happy to just be with me.
Sex is important, but it should not be the most important thing in a relationship. If one is not mature enough to see that, then they should not be in a relationship.
@Cest_LaxVie@xanga - Of course other factors play into it. If the husband (heaven forbid) gets into an accident and we can't have sex anymore I wouldn't leave him for it because I'm not with him for the sex. But when it comes to just the act of having sex I don't doubt a relationship could last however I do doubt that it could thrive.
girls like and want sex too
all relationships have a strong need for a physical component. sex is an important bonder for both men and women. don't be ignorant, though, and assume that only men should be answer this question, as women would have just as much trouble without sex in a relationship.
but, in short, no.
It's not really an issue. We focus on other things besides that 90% of the time anyway. I'm sure I couldn't last indefinitely - ahah - but for a while, it'd be no problem at all.
I am not to say much. After all I only spend about 8 months with a girl. The most I did was embrace her. It's not that i didn't want to it's more of because how I have my life set up. I want to know she's the one before I do anything that rash. I want to know that I am the perfect one for her and she's the perfect one for me before I even step close to that range. I don't want to be blinded by raw physical attraction to know we have problems.
In addition I agree with someone in the previous comments about how lacking marriage is "just for tax reduction". I also decided that in case I start to have sex I would be able to financially support my actions. If she were to get pregnant from an "accident" I wouldn't promote an abortion. She can get one without my permission but I highly prefer her NOT to. I would like to be financially stable for a family at that stage of a relationship.
I, as a guy, believe I can last without sex in a relationship. But nonetheless she had a thirst to sate, I assume I'll take my part to help her in anyway she wants. This situation depends on the relationship. I know a few friends that been together a few years and no sex(ever). I believe it's because their relationship is beyond the physical aspect of the relationship.
Remember each one of us are clouded by personal views and there are extremes of both ends on all views on topics. Just because the majority sits on top of a bell curve doesn't mean there aren't any substantial amount of outliers.