Once in a while, I'll get a random request to seek out single friends for potential hook ups. The thing is, as time passed, so have my single friends. Well at least the ones they want to meet. As I tell them "sorry, but most of my girl friends are now taken while you were too busy being a puss hound and didn't bother to take a second look at them ages ago. But there are a few left..."
That's when my bachelor friend (George Clooney wannabe) stepped in and said, "you can't bring them all out at once. You have to set it up so that one of them is next to an unavailable girl or someone that's way hotter than her." Of course I asked why. His explanation to me was that when a guy sees two girls, he will automatically choose the hotter one or the single one. So in that scenario, when the hotter one turns him down, the not so hot friend will still be there. Same thing for the availability rule. If the guy approaches the two girls and one turns out to be taken already, there's still the single one.
My wrench in his theory is that unlike guys, girls normally don't like being 2nd choice. Once you show interest in their friend, they automatically write you off. Being 2nd choice is a face palm to us. Whereas his method works wonders for him, it's different for girls. I've seen him in action where the girl gets shot down from his hotter friend and then he plays the funny sensitive guy and offers to buy her a drink. 8 out of 10, he gets her number and 7 out of 10, she leaves with him at the end of the night. Maybe male egos are harder to bruise and as long as they can get girls, they really don't care if it's 1st, 2nd or 3rd choice.
So what do you think? Do you agree with his theory (works for both male and female audiences) or do you agree with me that it only works for guys? Let the discussion begin...
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Comments (20)
what the fuck are you talking about?
Once I read it, it sounded like a douche theory to me. And certainly, male egos are just as fragile as female egos. A lot of guys like to play off like they haven't been hurt, or their ego is way too big to have their brain function. Some others would show right away that their egos have been bruised.
Yeah, there are guys like that who admit it in psychology class. It's hilarious, because in actual reality, it'd hurt me if I were the second person of choice.
I think you should look at it from his point-of-view where beforehand he doesn't know or hasn't spoken to either of the two girls at that point to know who is single or who he'll have better chemistry with -- meaning of course he'll talk to the hotter one first by default.
You don't want to play second fiddle? Then you do the initiating and be the first to show interest in him before he comes over and starts building rapport with the hotter one; don't complain about being second choice when you should really understand the guy's position.
It's really simple.
And yes I agree with you that this applies to guys because the debate is moot since it's not the societal norm (yet) for girls to initiate and try to connect with a guy (i.e. significantly less likely a girl would walk up to two guys for the intention of pick-up).
Fucking retarded post. Give me a break. No girl (or guy) should resort to being someone's second choice to get a date.
males have extremely fragile egos...
if i don't catch is eye and my friend does, then obviously he should be with her. if she doesn't want to be with him, i really don't care to pick up his wounded pieces. honestly, if he's not interested in me to begin with, i'm not interested in him. i'm not desperate, and i wouldn't be offended if my friend turned a guy down and then he tirned to me and sighed "well, what about you?" i'd just kind of laugh and of course turn him down. why should i go out with a guy who's not interested in me? LOL!
Or, ladies -- pick friends that make you the hottest one in the group. Win/Win situation. ;)
Kidding. :D Anyways, I don't know about the poster's friend, but I've met plenty a guy who will go out of their way to get with the hotter friend, taken OR NOT. Seriously, it's them or nothing. But to be fair, yes, I've seen this with girls, too. Hell, even if both parties are taken, it's a fun test for the girl to see if she's still "got it." Which is dumb to test when you're, like, 19... -__- What are you, practicing for your cougar days? O__O
Though... You know what? I kind of appreciate this theory. Think of it as douchey, sure, but I see it as guys (or at least OP's friend) understands that there are plenty of other choices. If you can't get the hottest chick (which come on, ladies, you would prefer the hottest guy, yes?), the other chicks around her are just as good. Unfortunately, girls I think have more obvious egos than men, i.e. we'll openly reject you if you just showed interest in our friend. I believe guys do actually feel the same, but they either get over it faster or don't care as much.
Solution: girls either need to deal with it a little more if they're not first choice (especially in the hook-up scenario), or guys need to be a lot more subtle about their first choice. If you can find a way to shmooze up and find out who's single without messing up your chances with any of the ladies, you'll strike gold better.
Or maybe girls should wear a band or something that shows their singleness or not, so it would be easier for dudes. Like an obvious trinket on their wrist or finger that tells the world whether they're taken or not. Oh wait... ;)
I would take being fifth choice right now
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
you are EXACTLY correct! fuck second choice! I'll never be that desperate LOL
@PMFoutofwater - lol
I agree, this is a stupid tactic for guys. A) I would never be 2nd choice, B) if a guy hits on my friend and then switches to me when he find out she's taken, he's obviously a player. Either way he's blown his chance.
men are just assholes
Whoa! That's a slap to one's ego (both male and female)!
guys don't choose me, I choose them
lol I think the player should wait til her ugly friend goes to the bathroom, then try to get her sexy phone number. I'm not a guy and this is my suggestion
I'm not a player.
I think it might just work on guys. I certainly wouldn't settle for being chosen second.
i'd rather be alone than 2nd picked
That's different. If the guy is going after the girl as his second choice, that's obviously bad. He's not recognizing anything good in her, other than availability, at that point.
When the guy who came second place is going after the girl, he's demonstrating how nice and kind he is in comparision to his hot jerk friend, so if the girl picks him, she's recognizing him for being a better person. His ego isn't bruised because he's better than the other guy (in a way).
Robert Downery Juniour IS GORGEOUS :D
:P