So, I recently joined swingcal - a decal on swing dancing. (A decal is a course taught by students.) From the four hours I have attended thus far into the semester, I must say that it has been quite an educational and social experience. Since the end of freshman year in college, I have become less outgoing and less willing to make new friends. After my first group of friends were set, I didn't feel the need for more. I didn't have time for more. However, I feel like swingcal is helping me realize the ease and importance of making friends again. Example?
During the last thirty minutes of every class, there is a free dancing period when the students have to stay and dance with whoever is around. It is very similar to a high school dance. There is that awkwardness. Awkwardness. Yes, that is it. As every song ends every two minutes, students must leave their partner and find another one to dance with. As students pair up, sometimes you are left with very few choices (sometimes people of the same gender). Other times, your eyes meet and it becomes awkward not to ask them to dance since everyone else is paired up. One instance will stick in my memory forever.
There was a chubby girl who I would have never talked to if it weren't for this class. However, as a song ended and a new one began, our eyes met. Quickly, I looked away to see everyone else paired up except for us. As she approached me, I realized I had no choice. I asked her to dance. As I placed my hands on her back, I felt waves of skin. "This is interesting," I thought to myself. However, as the song went on, I realized that she was a pretty good dancer. She was surprisingly nice, polite and easy to make small talk with. At the end of the two minutes, I realized that it wasn't too bad. I actually had a decent two minutes.
This experience made me a better person. To tell you the truth, my engineering courses are not filled with models. Actually Berkeley in genera... I digress. Now, if I meet someone "peculiar," I don't mind talking to them anymore. I mean if I can dance with anyone, then I can definitely hold a conversation with anyone.
Haha, you're probably sitting there mocking me about how shallow I am. However, I know this holds true for everyone. Everyone desires to meet and interact with beautiful people. People are timid about interacting with ugly people. It is human nature. I'm sure some people will disagree. Anyhow, that is how swingcal is making me a better person.
What experiences make you more accepting?
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Comments (27)
Aw...this was a cute story. That's all I have to say.
I haven't really had any similar experiences since I don't think I'm that shallow when it comes to boys. If I start liking a boy, I tend to idolize his body and all of a sudden he's become the perfect body.
I took a Latin dance class and had basically the same experiences as you. I conversed with older women, people I probably never would have talked to, and people who probably never would have talked to me. It was a great experience and I'd recommend it to anyone! Not just for the moves you learn, but for the experience of learning to break the ice with people (especially those of the opposite gender).
I met a blind person on a bus.
that changed the way i started thinking
Hey, I go to Cal, too. DeCal board. My friend is in that class for the second semester. (:
Love can be found on a dance floor.
Yeah that does happen at swing, though I am the girl so I get the random guys asking to dance. I will sometimes ask a guy after watching and realising he is an amazing dancer. Then there are the guys who are awkward, or don't dance so well, and then yeah they turn out to be good they just had been having poor partners, or they are really nice, and it is great. I met my boyfriend at swing, he was awful! he hopped every step, and stared at his feet, and wouldnt talk, so I would just laugh at how bad he was at this dance which in all reality is only 3 steps! So I have to say I didnt think anything of him until finally he did open up abit. He is getting a bit better at dancing now... at least he doesnt hop like a little leprechan anymore :).
Though there are the 'creepy guys' who will ask to dance. Eventually you learn to try to avoid him, you know grab the nearest man "how about we dance" or go to the bathroom, but every sometimes he catches you, and you cannot say no at swing dancing! Then he grips your hands tight and stares unblinking with a straight face right into your face. While dominating the whole dance, Yes he is the leader, but it is a forceful lead, not a solid flowing lead. Ug "creepy guy' is the worst to dance with, but I think that is legitimate. He is quite older and tends to ask the younger ladies, and everyone gets that creepy vibe from him...
Or the overly sensual men, who have to make the dance awkward with extra hip gyrating and pulling you in extra close and stareing right in your eyes while smiling a certain way.
OH but I love the swing dancing!
GO SWING!!! and yea dance classes teach you that, all shapes and sizes can dance well i figured i will never ever judge a book by its cover in a dance class again
kid, you're not shallow. rock on. or rather, dance on? :)
I love swing dancing events... and also milongas (tango dancing events). You can meet a lot of people in one night, and gain more confidence in your dancing. It's so much fun! Rock on to being more sociable; it's good for you
this chubby guy talked to me when I was waiting for my next college class to start. he likely talked to me because he saw that I was bored out of my mind staring at the ground about to fall asleep
he didn't really get to know me. he was mostly talking about himself
that was a random guy talking to me. I didn't really realize anything new though. your dance class sounds like fun.
Oh man, I feel more comfortable exercising with an old lady.. than any other young student in my fitness class. Even so, I feel a bit down trodden and unworthy of exercising with an old person. God, I'm insecure.
@wiredXecstacy@xanga - Nice. My friend "Poon'' does that too. Haha, I'd be interesting if you knew her.
Ah, swing-dancing! I went to a student-organized dance last summer without Joel and 2 guys danced with me. I'm much to timid to think of asking anyone myself. One of them was quite odd and didn't say a word when we danced, so I just felt very uncomfortable. The second was very cute and struck up conversation, and dancing with him felt very natural. I think the fact that he talked to me and was a better dancer was more important than how attractive he was. This year, I want to join a dancing class, hopefully next quarter (I wanted to this quarter but it was moved to a different night, when I have a different class), and Brandon and I had agreed to be dance partners! I don't know how awkward that's going to be...
I miss swing dancing. You're not shallow. And if it makes you feel any better (and as embarrassing as it is for me to say this in public), I guess once asked me to dance.
I like this post a LOT. That's all I really have to say. :D
@MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga - given the fact that I am the king awkward turtle........... :-/
:P
i'm unpleasantly surprised by how closedminded so many people here are.
I recently was awkwardly asked by a stranger if I wanted to go swing dancing with him. I said no. I hope he was able to meet someone when he went.
But you make yourself sound like a typical introverted engineering student who holes himself up in some library or lab working on something. I'm glad you were able to break free from the stereotype!
I took dance classes for a year and a quarter at Stanford, and it's pretty normal for guys to ask for a dance with any and every girl (and sometimes other guys, seeing as the Stanford dance scene is dominated by engineering dudes trying to escape gender imbalance... been there before) over the course of the night. At first I was nervous, but after putting myself out there a few times, I realized it's quite normal, and it gave me more confidence around strangers (not to mention better posture).
Also, our teacher has a great thoughts and musings page about dance which everyone should read - http://socialdance.stanford.edu/syllabi/musings.htm
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - I was thinking the same thing..
You are right, most people are sitting there mocking you as we read this. That is because most of us are not nearly as shallow as you, at least that is what I believe. Just because you don't want to f--- (not sure if I'm allowed to use expletives here, so I won't) someone doesn't mean you don't want to interact with that person.
Swing dance classes sound like fun! My little sister and I used to dabble when we were younger and she was easier to toss around lol.
@Starring_Hobo89@xanga - I do, actually, hahaha. She's one of the directors for the program. Small ass world.
I really wish they offered anything like that here, but they totally don't. It's lame. (I go to a small state school in PA). But I did love your story :)
I don't really have any inspired experiences. I have had a humbling one that made me realize larger people aren't bad, because my best friend was larger. He liked me, and I pretended I didn't like him back, because he was, well, large and then I felt shallow and guilty. He kissed me one day, and that was the end for me. I was hooked - we've been dating for almost 7 months :) He's amazing to be around and I almost gave that up because he was larger... It completely changed my mindset.
I've found swing-dancing to be an incredibly social activity filled with tons of really nice & friendly people.....and California definitely has a lot of swing clubs you can go to!