Wednesday, 10 February 2010

  • Size Matters


    Recently, I've started dating a girl who is really tiny.  She's 4'11.  I'm not a huge guy or anything, but honestly, she's really tiny, and I'm not.  Tiny people have really tiny body parts.  That's just the way things are.

    For a good amount of time, I've always told myself that I won't get involved with girls that are too small.  For just this reason, really small body parts makes sex awkward.  I don't want to constantly worry that I'm going to hurt her.  That's a very realistic worry though, and I don't feel it's something that I want to deal with.


    She's a nice girl, and I like hanging out with her.  It's just a shame that this might end just because of a physical mismatch.  I really don't see any way to deal with it.

    From her perspective, she has this issue with everyone she dates, so it's no big thing.  In fact, she's even told me that I'm very respectful to her, and that she's surprised at how little it has hurt her.  From my perspective, this is something that I don't normally deal with, and sexual chemistry is full of so many different fun nuances, getting to know someone, and learning the sensitivities of their body.  I've never been so stressed about sex before ever.

    Honestly, I don't even know how to deal with it.

    The smallest girl I've ever dated before her was 5'2.  3 inches of height might not sound like much, but size was an issue with her too, just not quite as much.  Actually, it's probably because of her that I have been so careful with this tiny one.

    I feel that it's unfair to break things off with her because of a physical limitation, especially one that she just has to deal with with everyone.  However, it's just the way things are.  I can't shrink, and she isn't going to grow bigger.

    Any perspective from little girls out there?  Any advice from someone in a relationship where size is an issue?

    There are plenty of fish in the sea ... guess I should go fishing some more.

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Comments (118)

  • jan_9_july_2@xanga

    I guess you should get a bigger BAIT lol
  • Utoppia

    Wow this is the first time I've seen a guy worry about size that's not related to her bra size. Anyway, I thought guys like petite girls because they think it's cute or makes the guy feel more manly. For starters, how about talking to her about your concerns? (i.e sex in bed) Give the poor girl a chance of reassuring you that's not the case. But if it's more a turn off for you and you can't get over the feeling of humping a little girl, then you should probably find a different partner who you will be comfortable with. After all, no one should settle. Happy fishing...

    BTW: that guy in the photo looks like the crypt keeper! yikes!
  • AnonymousBlonde@xanga

    I can't speak for short women since I'm not really one (I'm 5'6), but I'm personally uncomfortable dating someone who isn't at least 4 inches taller than me.  It's strange being at eye-level with a man for me since I grew up around tall men (just about every male in my family is over 6').
  • o0msxmichelle0o@xanga

    I'm 5'1 and i've dated a guy at 6'3 before. No biggy. I think it would be a little unfair if you broke it off with her for the sole reason that she's small and you're big.  It's true. she does have to deal with everyone else and you're probably not the first guy to notice her small frame.  If she doesnt complain, then you shouldn't worry.  
  • soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga

    i don't know how long you two have been dating for but i know how little things like this can ruin a relationship. i've dated a short guy, it was so...awkward.


    i think you should give her a little longer though, it sounds like you really care for her.
  • ConfusedOptimist@xanga

    i think you should just end it.... i'm sensing that you are not that into her, that you just don't want to hurt her, i mean if you are considering ending it because of size and all... (I COULD BE COMPLETELY WRONG OF COURSE!) she deserves to be with someone who will not break it off merely because of her size....
  • LiLMiNtYFr3Sh@xanga

    I barely hit 4'11 and my boyfriend is 6'4. He doesn't care much about it. I find it kind of awkward sometimes because I know that people often comment on the height difference. But if she doesn't mind it, then stick around a little longer and see if you really like her.
  • myreality79@xanga

    I think it's really cool that you are earnest in your concerns and not degrading or dickish in how you've expressed them.  

    Now she has stated that she is surprised at how little you hurt her - I'm assuming this must mean that she receives some pleasure as well?  Has she ever been with a guy and experienced painless/pleasurable sex?  If she has experience pleasure in the past and is experiencing at least some now, then why not give it a shot to see if things keep improving?

    If your concern is that her sex drive isn't at a comprable level as yours, then that's a different issue and one that maybe you should consider moving on over.  Also, if it truly just boils down to the fact that you are too large for her (or she is too small for you), then I suppose moving on would be in both of your best interests.

    I personally don't think genital size should be the be-all, end-all of sex/relationships, but it obviously can be a factor that affects some relationships negatively.

    Our pop culture is obsessed with women who insist and complain that their man isn't large enough, but as your story attests, there are other situations involving genital sizes that can create issues.  

    Best to you! Hope you can work out a solution that both of you are satisfied with!
  • P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga

    just because she is short doesn't mean that her vagina is short and small, too. if the guy is too tall like taller than the doorway, it is scary. tall or short or big or not so big, I can be lenient if he is super cute. I'd like to date a guy who is the same as my height because when we hug, it is like a perfect match


    is she the girl in your profile picture?
  • AutumnShadowsQ@xanga

    I'm a short girl, and I understand your concerns. I haven't had outrageously tall boyfriends, but even with the ones I have had, my smallness has made things a bit uncomfortable in the bedroom. I think the best solution here is communication. Make sure, if things get intense, she is always able to tell you if it hurts. It isn't completely your responsibility...you will never know if she doesn't tell you. Also, after some more time it should get easier to recognize what is best for both of you.
  • Parsimony@xanga

    I'm around 5 feet and a number of my exes were close to or over 6 feet.  The height difference has never been an issue.  I would imagine they like the physical advantage (sometimes prowess) over me.
  • lilniteanngel@xanga

    i'm tiny too... the guys i've dated never seemed to mind much.

  • JesyCole@xanga

    I really don't understand this.. Why does it matter how big or small a girl is?

    If you have sex and something is hurting her.. she will know and tell you.

    Change positions and get on with things..
    No big deal!

    And I thought race discrimination was bad.. and now this?

    lol
  • lanierstrong@xanga

    makes you sound like you only want sex in the relationship
  • LupusInvictus@xanga

    @Utoppia - The man in the picture is Bao Xishun he used to be the tallest man in the world. 
  • Shadows27@xanga

    Oh, wow. There's over a foot difference in height between me and my boyfriend of twenty months. I'm 5'2 and he's 6'4. (He's sooo tall...but it's gotten to the point where I don't notice it anymore)
    Size was never an issue in our relationship. I stand on my tippy toes and he bends down when we kiss.
    As for sex, we've never had a problem with that either. Doggie-style and cowgirl always is a charm.

    If you like someone, physical appearance should never matter.
  • Adrenaline_Unknown@xanga

    I'm a tiny petite girl and I love big dicks :D


    She might too. Just find out! ^_^
  • xjadersx@xanga

    Aw this is kind of sad. It would be nice if you two could find a way that wouldn't hurt her, but would still feel good for you. 
  • aryiu17@xanga

    i'm tiny tooo and it bothers me sooo much.
    but would you rather date someone who is extremely huge or tiny?
  • NymphaeHecati@xanga

    It sounds like you really care for this girl, so why not express your concerns to her before you break off what sounds like a good relationship?
  • Trigger821@xanga

    just how tall are you?? that you have to be afraid of hurting this girl?
  • InTheThin@xanga

    But you're asian. "Big" and "asian" do not belong in the same sentence.

    Lols just kidding. I'm there are well-endowed asian men...somewhere...out there. I wouldn't know, I've only dated 1.5 asians.
  • GiantUnicorn@xanga

    I'm 5 inches taller than my BF.

    Size isn't an issue for us because we don't care.

    George the Giant's wife is like 5'2" and he's like 7'2", don't hear him complaining.....
  • daaazed@xanga

    I'm a little shorter than 5'1 and I've been with guys close to a foot taller than me.

    I like the height difference. It's never been a problem for me.
  • FairyNAngel@xanga

    Love comes in all sizes.

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