Wednesday, 10 February 2010
-
Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve
Putting ourselves out there...
As I was sitting in class with my friend, she started to complain about the way she approaches relationships and how she always ends up hurt. She dives in head first and acts clingy. She's completely aware she's coming off a bit too strong, yet she doesn't mind it. Why do some girls do this? To me, I like to take it lightly in the beginning of a relationship. I think it's necessary in the beginning to keep your guard up and make your "SO" work for your trust and love. But does it work?
Which way do you like to proceed into something new? Wearing your heart or your sleeve or keeping a decent amount of distance?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: samanthaynne
- Name: samantha lynne
- About Me: i'm samantha :) obviously. i'm pretty simple. i have a boyfriend, he's my everything. i love my friends, weekends are never boring. i love coffee, rasberry iced tea, and caesar salads. I ABSOULTELY LOVE THE BEACH. i hate the winter. it's ridiculous. i find myself to be very smart for my age and i laugh at the people who play dumb to get attention. the end :)
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 29458 Comments: 0 319 View all posts by samanthaynne
Comments (61)
I wear my heart on my sleeve too much.
But I'm trying to stop that.I would say no to both approaches. Seriously, as difficult as it sounds, why make a big deal out of it? Just be yourself. Treat him like a friend, and in time he may start to like you the more he gets to know you. It's when you start playing the mind games and strategizing that you end up in a mess.
personally i tell the person straight up i'm a romantic...whether i choose or not..i probably wear my heart on my sleeve with bells around it. i get hurt a lot, but eventually i convince myself i'll find that someone that doesn't mind my bells
I am guilty of wearing my heart on my sleeve. Sometimes a little to much, where I end up getting myself to attached and then get hurt in the end.
Thankfully now I have found a boyfriend who takes me for who I am, and doesn't mind that I wear my heart on my sleeve and allows me to tell him everyday how much I love him without getting scared off. Plus he does it in return
I used to wear my heart on my sleeve, but I'm trying to learn not to. the more I experience, the more I'll learn. In my last situation, I distanced myself while he was much more straightforward and I soon as I felt like things were getting rolling, I switched gears. Needless to say, it didn't work out because I guess he liked having to work for it from me.
I don't think there's a right way to approach things, but do just act natural and try not having a set approach !
Clingy and wearing your heart on your sleeve can be two separate things. I've very much the latter, not much at all the former--and expect the same from a guy. But. I'm trying to tone down the heart on sleeve thing, nonetheless. I'm very direct. Too much of anything is never a good thing!
@sarahzthoughts@xanga - i agree. putting TOO much thought and over thinking and strategizing really just fcks everything up eventually.
@Shopgirl0393@xanga - Yeah I feel you on that one, and I consider myself the exact same. I know my limits on when to make contact, so I'm not the least bit clingy...but I still end up coming off as "too" caring. Stupid mind games -_-
I don't wear my heart on my sleeve at all.
Being fucked over like no other can do that to you.
Based on my experience, I was clingy before because I just got out of a serious relationship and I wanted to get that kind of relationship right away. I don't know why, perhaps, I wanted to fill in the gap fast.
But, I've tried to stop that because I don't want to scare off guys. It would be cool, though, to have someone to accept you for being clingy but then again, guys like that are hard to find.
Men like a challenge. Nothing puts us off like a clingy woman early in a relationship. It stinks of desperation. Your friend has to learn to play it cool - easy on the texts, don't ask what he's doing all the time. Keep him guessing for a while.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
I definitely don't dive in head first,though I have when I was younger(early teenage years lol).
I believe keeping that balance in the beginning of a relationship always pays off- for example: talking things out but not always being so available and giving space to see things from many different prospectives;how the guy acts with his friends,fam,etc.
a combo of both
A combination of both is usually ideal. Of course, it depends on the person receiving. There are some who like the attention and there are some who like the space but plenty of connection. You just have to play by ear.
I definitely have my heart on my sleeve in the beginning for whatever reason. It's just the thrill of a new discovery (a guy lol) excites me so I throw myself into it. If I really like someone they definitely know because they, like everyone else, will see my big ass heart just sitting there!
@DeathzDezign@xanga - Excuse us for having big hearts, hah. :P Mind games are the worst..but inevitable. Fact of life..unconscious or otherwise..!
I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am proud of it. I think the world works a lot better if people know how other people are feeling. If your feelings get hurt, healing will help with personal growth.
Take it easy and slow at first. Coming off too easy with all the answers up front loses the excitement of "working" for something. If anything needs to be put up front would be the "extra baggage" or certain aspects that could normally turn others away (which shouldn't be an issue, but being realistic, it does happen - such as having kids, a certain group of friends, etc).
@sarahzthoughts@xanga - Haha, that's exactly what I was going to say!!
I can say ditto to sarahzthoughts.Â
As @Shopgirl0393@xanga - said, wearing your heart on your sleeve does not always make you clingy. I have always "worn my heart on my sleeve". I don't necessarily consider it putting myself out there so much as it is being honest. I am learning to get it under control a little bit better and either a) getting to know guys a little better before I jump in head first with an "I like you" confession, or b) letting guys know how I feel more by my discreet actions than by bold confession. Changing yourself for good takes time....
I usually keep my guard up when it comes to relationships because I think that guys enjoy a chase rather then being chased. This method worked and works for me unless i keep my guard up for to long, eventually you have to let that guy tear down that wall. On the other hand I have worn my heart on my sleeve and started off clingy and let me tell you this is a relationship ender. EVERY time..
Because it is a VERY hard habit to break, and I'm sure I speak volumes on this one. Love is an amazing feeling, and to feel every ounce of it you cannot trade anything else in the world for. That said, I'm realizing being clingy to extremes isn't right. You do need to have your own individuality. I wish I realized that after 3 failed relationships, but I got it now with a great boyfriend of a year and a half. :)
I just be myself, and everything else falls into place. Not overanalyze every motive. I got more important things to concentrate on too. Life's too short to wonder why he didn't do this or that.
just play it cool. why dig the hole any bigger when you're still trying to figure out whether she likes you or not? chances are she'll be frightened by your hole and you'll be hurt for much longer.