Monday, 08 February 2010
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Musings on Love
Analyzing! It is what separates most humans from animals (at least that's what we fool ourselves into believing)..
It is what we all do when we are head over heals. Yes girls, I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Boys also spend countless time thinking about what she meant when she said so and so. Well, at least I do
I too over analyze my significant others conversation and actions when. Yes girls you are definitely not alone in that dept. I believe that women and men are generally the same when it comes to love.
The things that I find that are universal about love are the following:
1. You cannot help who you love. If you could, it would completely take away from the mystery of Love... and heartbreak of course!
2. When you love someone it is really easy to make them into something they are not. I believe that this is just the human way. Everyone secretly hopes that the person you are head over heels with is going to be the person you happily wake up to and grow old with. You know know what I mean that person you sit outside on a swinging bench with and just enjoy each others company.
3. If you love someone, your probably are going to think about them.... a lot. It is that simple. You will over analyze what they say. You will think about
your favorite traits and idiosyncrasies that they have. Like their particular laugh, smile, or kiss. You do it because It just makes your day that much better. Over analyzing is just a part of love. Because frankly, love is so profound it hurts. You want everything to be ordered and understandable so you analyze. Life is a struggle. Life is chaotic. Life a lot of times makes absolute no sense. Love is no different! So we analyze and we think.Now, I am not saying attempt to stop analyzing. Because I believe any effort to do so would be fruitless. Also because I think trying to figure out love or the things that our loves might mean when they say "hey whats up" is half the beautiful mystery. Maybe one day you will find your answer and a knowing smile will come to your face as you visualize yourself sitting on that bench. Next to your love
Maybe that is exactly what wise old people are doing when they romantically sit next to each other. Maybe they are simply just wondering about the great mystery of their personal deep profound love that they have for each other.
What do you think are some universal characteristics of love?
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About the Author
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- From: Prof_Padula@xanga
- Name: Anthony
- About Me: History Teacher
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Comments (26)
What I've noticed: The person you love is probably the person that will make your temper rise the most and your smile appear the fastest because you care so damned much about them that you just can't help yourself.
Yay let's all attempt to define love and realize that it is different in every person's eyes.
@gatorgirl54@xanga - Ouch
@Cambios@xanga - I completely agree
You're willing to do anything to see that smile - you're willing to make sacrifices to make them happy. I notice that (at least I know I do that) more than I notice anything else. You fall in love with them, and you will do anything you can to make sure that they're happy, and that your relationship works out.
Something else I've noticed, though: love is blinding, no matter who it is. You're so close to the person you love that sometimes there are things that you can't see, things that you miss. They slip through the cracks, and even when they're pointed out to you, you're still capable of ignoring them, because you love the person. You don't overlook their flaws, you accept them, and don't think about them.
@gatorgirl54@xanga - I think the point was just to get some different perspectives, and to get people thinking about what love means to them. Sometimes it's refreshing to see something new, and sometimes it's comforting to see that someone feels similar.
@Cambios@xanga - I agree as well.
Your article is sending me into fits of giggling. Hm, Except you could also be describing infatuation.. There's a fine line between that and love, I think. Sigh.
You can help who you love because love is a verb. Real love, past infatuation is a choice. It's infatuation that we can't help.
I disagree completely. If you could controll who you love it would totally take away the mystery and profoundness that makes up love into something so special
@Prof_Padula@xanga -
who's to say love is mysterious, profound or special?
no offense intended, but your point presupposes that love is all of these things, which might be true to some people, but not necessarily for all.
what miajoythewriter@xanga means is that infatuation (the butterflies, the thrill) can't be helped. it's purely emotional, and as humans, we're not as in control of our emotions as we think. but to love someone when the thrill fades (time does this), love becomes a verb -- a conscious effort to get along.
ah! i was just writing a blog about this similarly today! More about having no idea why I love the person that I do but being okay with it!
@MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga - i don't think loving the person is a choice. I think that staying with them while they hurt you, that's where the choice lies. I love my exboyfriend so much and I can't figure out why for the life of me because for the past 8 months he's been putting me through indecisive hell, which I did to him a few years back and it's basically no fun but anyway, what I'm trying to say is...I don't choose to have these feelings for him every time I see him. I always intend to stay strong and not try to work things out again but it never seems to work. Maybe you might see that as weak on my part or an unwillingness to give up on something, but it's not. I'm a very strong person.
@seize_thy_fate@xanga - I think that love is an emotional thing. To me, Infatuation is concerning the chemicals in your body. But love has both the infatuation and the love and adoration after years, etc
@DuckRoxInMySox@xanga - i'm not sure if i misunderstood, but can't everything be said to be related to chemicals in the body? and i'm not so sure if i want to believe that infatuation, if as you said, is the result of chemical processes. if so, we're nothing but slaves to our own biological construct, which is.. sad. not to say that love doesn't involve emotions, because it certainly does, but when a period of time passes (people have a tendency to take one another for granted, because even the most beautiful things become dull and bland, or we become impatient/less accepting) and fights start popping up, isn't effort (which i suspect is why mia said love is a verb) necessary? the effort to try to communicate and make it through?
but the keyword here is: believe. i think each individual is entitled to believe as he/she may about love. if it works, go for it!
@seize_thy_fate@xanga - What i said was easy to misunderstand as even now it took me a second to figure out what I meant. I suppose technically we're all slaves to our biology because that's what keeps us running but that's far too complicated to try and figure out. I think I meant that it's easy to misconstrue infatuation as love but what I think is true love has infatuation in it. But i think I was just trying to say that love is also emotions.
Also, effort is a choice. But I don't think that a lack of effort means that the person doesn't love you. I think it just means that there is something in the way. Either they're too apathetic about everything or something. I think that to have a relationship last you definitely need to make that effort. But to stop making that effort doesn't mean you no longer love, do you know what I'm saying?
And yes! I;m all about believing in love.
@MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga - @seize_thy_fate@xanga - @DuckRoxInMySox@xanga -
I think the whole point here is that being with someone is the choice. Loving them isn't. That isn't to say love is something that just happens out of the blue, I certainly don't think you just look at a person and love them. Yes, there is a chemistry that two people can have, but the time you put into them is what makes you love them. And in that sense, allowing yourself to fall in love, or putting yourself in a situation where you will fall in love may be a choice... But once it's happened, I don't think it's a choice anymore.
If it were a choice, don't you think people would simply choose to stop after a relationship is over? You can stop putting time, money, effort... Whatever into a person to get over them and stop loving them, but when (if you ever) stop loving them, it doesn't happen as an act of sheer willpower, it happens by a means of time and healing.
Love in and of itself is not a choice.
Hmm... I feel like you'r describing infatuation instead of love, but what do I know?
I don't think 'when you love someone it is really easy to make them into something they are not'. I believe when you love someone you accept them for who they are despite knowing all their flaws.
I believe that that love to a certain extent is a choice. You can't choose who you're attracted to, but you can choose to not let yourself fall for that certain someone (e.g. by not spending time with him/her). The way I see it, love is like a plant. It needs to be nurtured. Watered. Fertilised. Love is work, so if you don't put in the effort, it'll die.
My two cents. But again, as the ultimate single girl, what do I know?
I really needed this! You are so right! I love this!! :) thanks
I think this describes young love, new love. Real, lasting love involves seeing the person for what they truly are, not who you want them to be. You also don't think about the other person constantly, because you have a life outside of them.
@seize_thy_fate@xanga - nicely said. i agree with you and @MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga to some degree. if i can't figure out why i love someone...that's probably not the healthiest relationship. you can't necessarily choose who you are attracted to, or who you have feelings for, but you can choose who to develop a relationship with.
so, maybe everybody's right? YAY!
@turtletastic - i agree completely =]
@turtletastic - well said. i think we should return to our starting point, which is where it seems definition differs. i was discussing love as a verb, when it's used as a conscious choice to make it work out, whereas love can also be an emotion -- the proverbial roller coaster ride that we just can't help but ride until the end.
for example, if we used love as an emotion, then you are certainly right. people don't just drift off at a moment's notice, just because they made a choice. but used as a verb -- the act of loving, not so much the emotional state, though this too is controversial -- people can choose to stop loving. when i say that, i mean stop making the effort, whatever the effort may be. then as time runs its course, even the most beautiful things can go rotten if neglected too long.
i hope this clears it all up.
in the end, i think we're all right.
My universal characteristic of love is simply being happy having that person in your life.
@MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga - ..disagree completely. none of those are by choice.