The other day I was talking to a girl friend about relationships. She has been in about three serious relationships where she has been in love with the guy, but has had to deal with horrible heartbreaks. I have never been in love. She argued that it is better to have never been in love than to have to deal with heartbreak so many times. I argued that it is better to be in love and then lose it than to never know what the emotion feels like. Even though I don't know how it feels to be heartbroken, I would imagine that the feeling of love outweighs that of heartbreak.
So what do you think, is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?
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Comments (74)
It is better to have loved and lost than to never love at all.
The bitterness of it probably got to her, and she probably didn't think about the good times when she said that to you.
Real love is more than an emotion.
Ha! If it was love it wouldn't have ended.
No clue...
She must have issues letting go of bad memories. I was in a three year relationship where I was best friends with the guy before we started dating, and it was wonderful...at least until he became emotionally abusive and manipulative.
It's taken me a while, but after being without him for several months now, I can now look back and smile on the days we spent just making each other laugh. We didn't even need to go anywhere or do anything, all we needed was each other to have fun. I still feel sad when I think about how he would threaten to hurt himself if I did things or how bad he made me feel about myself and how he took my virginity and didn't give me to make the decision for myself until after it happened.
I don't miss him, but he taught me what it's like to love someone as unfortunate as it is that the relationship became unhealthy later on.
It is definitely better to have loved and lost.
@Bushy_Tailed@xanga - I don't quite agree with you but I'm not trying to argue.
@MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga - true.
I would never give up the love I have felt for any of my boyfriends, just to avoid the heart break.
The love and loss just teaches us how to love better the next time.
Loved and lost, definitely. That way, you'll know what love feels like when you fall again, and hopefully with the right person.
I just wrote a blog on this, it was in the featured questions section, so I answered it.
I am a firm believer in love, even though it has let me down once before and it will let me down again soon here in May. I would rather have the time and memories with the people I fall in love with and remember how it felt, even for a brief, shining moment, to be in love than to never have felt like that before.
@Bushy_Tailed@xanga - that is extremely far from true; circumstances can separate anyone. Haven't you ever heard the phrase "Sometimes love just [isn't]* enough"? Just because it ended doesn't mean it wasn't real.
*The word is actually "ain't" but I dislike using improper grammar.
It is better to have loved and lost than never be loved at all. Heart break is painful, but it will make you stronger and have an even better relationship next time.
Having had my heart broken, I'd still say that it's better to have loved and lost. I don't regret having fallen for him. It taught me some valuable life lessons.
Love, lose and keep loving.
That's what I do.
@gatorgirl54@xanga - in retrospect, it is hard to let go of negative images like that. I feel for you, noone should go through something like that.
I think anything is possible when it comes to the matters of love. We could all use some gigantic romantic gesture at least once in our lives, or at least one fair shot to pull one off yourself.
it's better to have loved and lost. yeah, it hurts, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Never to have loved at all in the romantic sense is better. You want to LOVE so that you really inhabit your skin, but life is so much simpler when the only thing that you love is the joy of living like in childhood.
It is better to never to have loved at all. If the love is good, and the love is real, it's almost impossible to heal through the process of losing it. At the end of the day, if my relationship ended for some reason, I would rather be back at the stage of wondering what love was like. The pain of not having a relationship is so much more bearable than the pain of losing something so precious to you.
@gatorgirl54@xanga - errie. Your previous relationship sounds nearly just like my first serious relationship. My ex seemed perfect at the beginning; we could hang out and do absolutely nothing and just sit and look at the stars. After awhile he started getting emotionally abusive and controlling. I started losing friends. He didn't want me hanging out with my family or guy friends. He also took my viriginity b/c he kept bugging me about it and you know, at 18, your mind is still learning. He also cheated on me with two girls. It took the two girls for me to leave him. After all he did, I figured out that he didn't love me the way I did for him. It has taken me nearly four years since we broke up to forgive him for everything he's done to me and look back on our relationship with a glimpse into a summer of short-lived happy memories.
I do agree with the poster. It is better to have loved than to have never loved at all. I wonder how my life would be if I never have truly loved a person.
I think your friend is a whiny bitch.
@Cambios@xanga - I agree.
:sigh: