Starting this topic I was torn on being sentimental or angry. We shall see...
I am newly single as some of you may know - and while it was a choice of my own - it sort of wasn't. Although, I am absolutely thrilled to not have booked a Valentines Day "Just the Two of Us" package for two at the world famous
"Four Seasons" in Chicago.
I had a day of spa treatments planned, a romantic dinner reserved and a night spent up on top of the world at the Sears Tower (I will never call it the Willis Tower!) While it may have been one of the best weekends EVERY - because I probably was going to propose when up the Sears Tower (if not then this winter) - so not to mention the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen...
Anyways, I digress...
So many people have so many thoughts and feelings about Valentine's:
- the single women hate it, and sit dreamily on their couch with a tub of ice cream and their other single girlfriends eating, crying and laughing at all the stupid silly romantic things that go on in the movies they rented ... and then many have a naked pillow fight, right? ;)
- the taken women, to us men, seem to expect the same things from those movies to happen in real life. Or worse yet, they expect more. They expect wining and dining and romance and never once knowing there is a bill exchanged.
- the taken men stress the hell out! We are just paying our credit card bills from Christmas when this silly day comes up and we are required to be more romantic, kind, thoughtful than any other day. When most guys are more willing to DO Valentine's for their woman's birthday.
- the single men are expected to have a sickening Valentine's fling with a poor woman whom is lonely and sad. And we can't express our loneliness because that is taboo, we can't say we are sad or depressed because men aren't supposed to have feelings that make us a girl because it's emasculating.
We single men are stuck between a rock of a diamond and the headboard of a young vibrant drunk woman. What are we to do? Are we to desperately seek a serious relationship? Actively seek someone whom we don't care about? Or go out and drink our loneliness away?!
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Comments (79)
Do something productive.
You have a very low and generalized opinion of women. Not everyone is as materialistic and shallow as you describe. And if that's how your ex was, try using Valentine's day as an opportunity to change the type of women you seek out. Think of it as a symbolic day of liberation.
Celebrate Chinese New Year instead =D
Or, treat it like any other day?
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - i second that c:
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - ahaha yeah!
I think the problem is that those who are single (most) see it negatively because they don't have a valentine. But it really doesn't have to be that way. The way you make it sound is almost kind of.. pathetic. It's all about how you think and approach something. MENTALITY.
I am a single woman for the first time in 5 years. My husband left me this year. While most women I know go crazy about Valentine's day, I see it for what it is. A day for businesses to make money. I remember last year with my husband, he bought me a gift out of guilt because we had been fighting, took me out to a nice dinner where he acted like an ass to our waiter, and then we fought afterwards. This Valentine's day I will be celebrating being single. It's just another day...and quite frankly I would like to find a guy who surprises me with sentimental gifts on other days of the year. That's just me.
strip club;)
get together with other single guy friends.
As a single man it's my favourite weekend of the year - best time to pull. It's like weddings - all the single women feel sad and desperate...that's where I come in.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
Give your time to a local food bank or go deliver food to people who cannot get out - we have a meals on wheels program where I live - to me, it is just another day - no need to feel sad - happiness is bringing a smile to someone's face who might be down and out. Way better feeling then eating a box of chocolates.
Peace and Happiness.
@TruthNeverTold@xanga - Completely agree 100% & treat it like another day, Valentine's is just a day for flower shops, wal-mart, & other stores that carry chocolates, jewelery, cards, stuffed animals, ect to make more money. A materialistic holiday. Treat it just like that. It's extremely overrated bc everyone acts they have to have a SO. I have a SO, but since it's 1) his son's birthday & 2) the anniversary of the death of my best friend, aka a fallen Marine. We don't celebrate V'day as a romantic day, we pick another day through out the year & do something romantic for each other!
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - agreed!
Just treat it like any other day. I mean, it's on a Sunday this year, so you've probably got work the next day so going out might not be the best of ideas anyway.Make a date with yourself, Mr Bitter Gourd. So what if you don't get to celebrate it with someone this year? What's really the big fuss about V Day? Why devote that one particular day to commit an act of romance when you have 364 other days in the calendar to show your love for someone? Is it really worth anyone kicking a big fuss over it?
And I'm a taken woman, but I don't give a crap about V Day much. I'd sooner spend quality time with my man (and by that, it usually means I want to stay at home, avoiding all the fuss and not spend a cent on over-commercialized materialistic things).
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - Oh Alex. Haha
I'm driving around on dark country roads, listening to Hank Williams, it's going to be great.
Treat it like a normal day. After all, it is just another standard day, and will probably be raining in any case.
Watch horror movies and stay inside. My friend Chris came up with this. I'm not a person who gets tied up in knots over Valentine's Day. Sometimes I will be the polite date of a friend, who is single, so they don't miss out on Valentine's day. But a "no kisses at the door" kind of date. I think Valentine's Day is a good day to look at yourself and feel complete all by yourself. It's weird, I love red roses, lingerie, and hearts. I am also very romantic minded. I don't hate Valentine's Day, but it just doesn't seem like a real holiday. Everyday should be full of romance and finding meaning in the ordinary or just basically appreciating your partner. Okay, it seems like to me, that if you are with the wrong partner you will get caught up in Valentine's Day. Either you will be intent on controlling the other person's behavior and submitting them for a day or complicating your life with meaningless sex with current wrong partner or a stranger (Stranger Danger!) or being controlled by someone else's pressure to "own" you through sex or psychological manipulation. If you are with the right partner chances are that you don't have to stress over Valentine's Day because you spend everyday conscientious or awake and aware of your lover's needs, fears, hopes, desires. That means that when life gets hectic, chaotic, insecure- and it always does at times- you remember to leave "I love you" on a napkin and say "Thank you" or just generally appreciate the other person. Therefore, I think Valentine's Day is for the Emotional Slacker. It's like Christmas if you never visited your Grandmother in the nursing home any other day. Maybe people with children should spend the day with their children and communicate to them how they are the Joy created from the love between the parents. Then their children might actually grow up with a sense of self and not a hole in the belly concerning love and romance. I don't know, I've never been serious enough about anyone to consider Valentine's Day more than childish.
@TruthNeverTold@xanga - gotta agree
even when I had a boyfriend for Valentine's Day, I didn't expect him to get me anything. It's just a regular day
Single's Awarenes Day, FTW.
Just treat it like any other day. Maybe you meet some new woman who could be The One, maybe you don't.
Do whatever the fuck you want. It's just another day.
My gf and I aren't even doing anything special. We both think it's a shit holiday.
Heehee, my girl-friends and i never really made a big deal out of V-day...in fact, back in high school (not too long ago really) we celebrated an "Anti Valentine's Day" XD
Oh, those were the days. Now most of the people in my big 'group' of friends are no longer singles (for some reason a lot of the couples are within the old group! o.o) including me, and i'm actually rather scared as it's my first V-day being "taken." We won't be together, because of college, but i still don't know proper customs and mannerisms of this day. O.o Like, should i give him a call or text just to say Happy Valentine's Day? Maybe not, since he teased me last time i wrote him a "love letter".... x.x; I personally don't care for this holiday..except it was always fun to celebrate with my immediate family just to express our love for each other, for fun, and for the sake of eating sweets! :3
You're kidding, right? Like you can't go do something productive or go volunteer, do community service or treat it like any other damn day?
I'm single but if that means I have to share the label with an idiot romantic like you, count me out.
Valentine's day is an overrated holiday created by Greeting Card Compaines.
Don't stress it. Chin up. So what if other people are celebrating their "love"? People should do that everyday, no stressing about gifts, or a fancy dinner along with it...it's pathetic really!
Just think...you don't have to spend all the money, or stress about doing everything right like you would with an SO. Hang out with your men, drink beer, and watch sports on T.V. :)
yea I don't know what to do on that day either-and I've gone through 9 of them in a row by myself (been single for 9 years straight). I usually just treat it like it's just another day and let my engaged/married friends do their thing with their SO.