I feel like every relationship goes through stages.
First, you have the honeymoon stage. Everything seems so perfect, almost too perfect. You always want to be with this person, calls and texts are constant. You can't imagine yourself without him, although your time together has been spared.
Next, you go through the questioning and fighting stage. Is this person right for me after all? Is this going to work out? You start to fight about how he doesn't communicate with you as much as he used to. He doesn't try to "woo" you anymore because he believes he already had you. This is really where couples make it or break it. Some people just can't stand that there isn't that firing spark anymore. Sure, you feel connected. Just not how it was in the very beginning of the relationship.
Next step is "finding the perfect medium". If you overcame all the fights, the days where you'd barely talk...you eventually find a good in between in your relationship. He starts to offer to come see you more, but still make time for his friends. Just not as much friend time as it was before. The text and calls aren't constant, yet they do exist again. Everything just seems right. You know him well, he becomes your best friend. You both experienced having your "own life" while still being with each other. You know you can depend on him, as he does as well with you.
This cycle repeats, often. So if you're upset thinking that the honeymoon phase will not cease to exist again, you're wrong. Relationships go through this so they can mature, so they are put to the test and whatever couple makes it out alive is really meant to be. If you don't get through this tests, then he isn't the one. Everyone was made for someone, and I will always believe that. I don't necessarily think things always happen for a reason, but in all in all you have someone out there meant for you. It's all a matter of finding them.
What stage are you in right now?
Comments (261)
I usually repeat stage one over and over again. it is bittersweet. I love the constant puppylove feeling. then the feelings dwindle and either he or I find a new replacement. I guess there just wasn't that connection to reach stage two and three. in a way I like repeating stage one because it is exciting butterflies but I do want a commitment if it is with the right person. however, I get bored easily, so stage two can probably end as easily as stage one
single.
Second stage, eh. We have our good days and bad days. I do know I love him and want to be with him in the long run, though. :)
hahaha~ good points~~~
I think a mirror of the stages u are talking about is tht see from the "Truth"
At the beginning, many will TRY to be perfect, thus hiding most of the truth behind, like bad habits, giving up a lot of things to sparing time
Then, part of the truth starts coming into your sight, therefore you start questioning, like is he/she the right one?
and when more truth come to ur sight, it becomes a bit cruel, then you start feeling upset
whether the your theory of stage can stand totally depends on how people start their relationship~~~
Funny story: my last boyfriend and I went through all the stages (more of the fighting on my part, I admit), but then we finally got comfortable and found that happy medium.
Then he dumped me. -__-
Anywho, I do agree with these steps, and I agree with the cycling. Hell, that happens with friendships, too! You go through the "OMG BFF'S!" to bickering and petty fights to the happy medium. Then rinse, lather, repeat, it starts over with other/new friends or recurs with old ones. It's all good, though. :)
I actually disagree a little. It does feel like a honeymoon at first, but I haven't experienced the second stage [fighting / not talking]...I've been with my boyfriend for over two years, and I'm not going to say all of our days were perfect, but we have talked every day, and our fights have never lasted more than a few minutes. We're still very happy, we still can't stop thinking about each other, and we're basically best friends, which is the best way to date. We live together practically, and we're unoffically engaged. So I guess we made it.
On the other side of the spectrum, I did go out with a guy before my boyfriend / fiance, and with him it was like that. A few months of bliss, then came the fighting. That's how I know that my boyfriend is definitely a keeper, because after two years, we have never had real fights.
We've been through all the stages, and now that we're married, spend most of our time between the honeymoon sappy stage and the happy medium, occasional bickering (but not fighting) stage.
Why do posts like this always come just after a break up
I think I was in the second stage.
Toward the end of it
But it just didn't turn out the way I hoped..
But that's life i guess
I'm in the single stage. :P
Second stage, I suppose. Though, sometimes, it switches between the first and the second. Or, perhaps, it's just that the first is still there, it's just hard to get to when you're too focused on the second.
Just a matter of being rational and staying calm, not fighting over silly things.
We're kind of ridiculous in that, for example just yesterday, we had a huge fight about the most pointless thing ever and I (being the irrational one >.>) told him to just screw off. He gave me my time to calm down and just a minute later we were better.
Some days are good, some days are bad.
Just depends on stress and pressures from the rest of the world, I guess. In then end, when it's all said and done, I love him and that's all that matters, the reason to fix things.
i'm in the last one, and i like it, but..i do still miss the honeymoon stage sometimes. :X
Last stage.
Is it weird that I have these stages with my best friend?
My boyfriend and I agree that we go back and forth between these stages and, according to him, "often on a day-to-day basis."
... But that's probably because these "stages" are oversimplified and aren't a "one-size-fits-all."
wow so true .. my first and only relationship was the honeymoon stage for a month and the second/third was the questioning but the relationship didn't survive that
another fighting stage... ughhhh the honeymoon ended 2 weeks ago =/ it's gonna come again though... it always does
My first relationship stayed on the second stage too long (and kept going back to it), my second one didn't get past the first one. I think the not-mentioned "Single stage" is the best one for me right now.
What's weird is that I think I've been in the honeymoon stage since day one.
And that was exactly eight months ago.We only made it passed the questioning phase then broke up. Hahahaha
Totally agree with this. If you don't get through the questioning/fighting stage.... well, you're kind of screwed cuz you'll never find that happy medium. For me, once I found I wanted to just stop fighting and find that medium, be fair and everything, my ex just took me for granted and we broke up. *shrugs* There will always be tough times and obstacles in relationships. It just depends on how you can handle it as a couple. If you don't make the cut... well, you weren't meant to be.
Some people think that going through the fighting stage is a horrible thing... and I honestly think that those who have *never* fought with their SOs will one day find themselves in that situation. Of course, fighting is never a happy thing, but if the guy and the girl in the relationship truly love each other, they will come out stronger after the fight. That's my experience.
pretty sure i'm just finishing the whole fighting stage..not 100% sure.. but it feels like it..
Perfect medium stage <3 and you're absolutely right, those cycles do repeat themselves.
i seem to start with "Is this person right for me after all" 'wy have i decided to start dating them again?'.. lol i've never really had a honeymoon stage =( maybe i'm just to cynical and pessamistic about other people..haha
@amyetta619@xanga - ive got a better wod - "realistic" haha