How do you break the news to your SO that their best friend is a "first-class groper" when they get sloppy drunk? Remember, this is their best friend and they've got history together.
My girl friend found herself in that uncomfortable situation last weekend and asked me if it was best to just come right out and tell her BF or wait until she has proof, like a picture of a video of being touched or grabbed inappropriately. I told her it depends on how many counts of offense has the groper committed. If it was a first-timer, I would file it in the back of my head and be cautious the next time. If it's the 2nd time around, bring it up gently with the BF and see what he has to say about it. If he laughs along with you, ease into your plan of confrontation. If he goes on the defense, abort confrontation plans and seek for proof.
I've had this happen to me, but in a slightly different situation. You see, one of my best guy friend gets a little touchy feelly when he gets drunk and I've had my other girl friends complain to me about him. So, I had to pull him aside and tell him what's up. At first he was shocked because he didn't realize he did those things (i.e., grabbing boobs and butts) but at least he didn't go on the defense and starting denying it. But since we're friends and not in a relationship, I think that eases the tension without hurting feelings. More often than not, it's easier to hear unpleasant behavior from your best friend than from your SO or just a regular friend. If it was just an acquaintance level friend, you think they're being malicious or jealous. If it's from your SO, you think they are criticizing you and pointing out your flaws.
Anyone ever had this problem before? If so, how did you handle it? Does anyone else have a better idea to approach your So about this problem than what I suggested?
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Comments (29)
he must be trying to find his cell phone
@thepanged1@xanga - thanks...I'm never borrowing someone else's cell phone...
That pic is so gross.
That picture is just nasty.
I think the picture is hilarious.
I think your advice was sound. If the guy was drunk and a first-timer, let him off. But one more incident and you have to tell the BF. I once tried to touch the leg of my housemate's GF while my housemate was in the car but I was bladdered at the time. I mean, I would WELL have gone there, but I felt mortified in the morning when I remembered what I'd done.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
See what happens when Usher's "Love in This Club" gets released? Now everybody thinks they are Casanova on the dancefloor.
I'd push the groper against the wall and punch him in the gut as his drunkass lingers at the corner of the wall like a douche. no need to tell my bf or anyone else. if he continues a second time, he is asking for a bloody nose! I warned him the first time. if he didn't remember, too bad
if he tries a third time, I'm telling andre the giant bouncer/security guard to teach him a lesson
Lol
The pic is nasty.
thats disturbing
lol that picture...
Wonder if he thought he'd find some frosted lucky charms cereal in there ?
Just say no to drunk people !
@ghostsoft@ireallylikefood - "asking for it"? chauvinist/retard.
lol @ the picture
and to be on the safe side, i'd get proof (or...testimony?) before the confrontation. guys like to have each other's backs D:
& i don't understand how he'd "laugh along" with you about something like that? and if he did, how you would ease it into a confrontation?
@Utoppia -
lol @ picture!
@ghostsoft@ireallylikefood - OMG I love getting drunk at home and just watching TV or something totally insignificant. It just makes normal things more fun!
@SexcapadesAnonymous@xanga - I second that, bars are boring! lol
Okay. That's a disturbing pic! LOL.
Anyway, I also have a guy friend who gets touchy whenever he's drunk. That's why, I tend to stay away from him whenever he drinks. Hm, I don't wanna punch him or anything; he's a friend! T__T
Your reasoning is sound. There isn't much else to say except that you should keep in mind how you're going to deliver the message. Be firm but not accusing is about the best way I can put it. It's hard to find the right words and the right level of tone in your voice to say what you mean directly and clearly without appearing like a bitch.
@icesoul_09@xanga - hahah true. If I had to punch every drunk guy friend who gets touchy feelly, I would have broken knuckles. I normally just kick them in the baby maker.
Last year, a mutual friend of a girl I hang out with constantly hit on me when we were drunk together. I never gave her any signs, never gave her false hopes. In fact, I more or less shrugged them all off and ignored all of her come ons.
My last birthday bash was actually a celebration for multiple people. There were copious amounts of booze and people. This girl decided to, as I was hitting on another girl, make her way behind me and grab my ass. And not just grab it, I mean grab a hold and keep it there. Luckily I can keep a poker face and just told the girl I was talking to that I needed to go get some more beer and she should come with me. This was actually strike 3 for her, but the other times were more verbal... but gratuitous.
Strike four came when she drunk dialed me saying she wants to have a threesome with me and her friend (who I had already been with). Anyways, I simply told her about it later when she was sober. She claimed to not remember most of the things she'd done. I sort of believe her, but either way I'm not one to rub someones mistakes in their face.
Basically, just confront the person. It's better if the one who is being groped does the confronting. Preferably when sober.
bahahaha!! that picture cracks me up! it's gross, but not uncommon. yay for you being a good friend and telling your guy friend what's up. saves himself from embarrassment, hate, and an arrest for sexual harassment!
that pic is freaking hilarious, i literally LOLed.
Man his whole hand is gone!!! Where in the world can it be????